Emmett Buys a Puppy
by maggiekb
Summary: Emmett Cullen decides to buy a puppy. The adventures that could only take place with a family like the Cullen family. Takes place five years after Breaking Dawn. Includes all main characters and all usual pairings. Please read and review. Now complete.
1. Meet Tuffy!

**Emmett buys a puppy**

**Emmett POV**

**(Takes place after Breaking Dawn.)**

I walked into the little pet store at the mall. I had no idea why they would put a pet store in a mall, but whatever. Oh. If Alice saw me going to the mall without her, I was in trouble. Crap.

I pushed those thoughts aside for now and went to press my nose against the glass window outside of the puppies' room. They were so cute! There were so many, all running around in different directions. Two of them were fighting over a knotted rope, playing tug-of-war with their little, shiny white teeth.

A small, light brown and white Yorkshire terrier stopped and stared up at me. His face was the perfect example of a sad puppy face. It took me a moment to realize what his emotion was, then it hit me. He was lonely. I knew what I need to do.

I walked over to the counter to a young women in her mid-twenties. She jumped as she realized I was waiting, not hearing my footsteps. She looked at my face and enormous muscles, and was "dazzled" as Eddie and Bella liked to put it.

"U, u, uh… can I help you?" She stuttered.

"I wanna buy a puppy." I told her matter-of-factly, my voice creeping with excitement.

"Oh, ok. Let's go have you pick one out."

"Oh, I know which one I want."

She was taken aback, but led me to the puppy room.

"Which one would you like?" She asked as she opened the door and let me in.

"That one." I said, pointing to the little puppy that was once again staring up at me.

"Ok." She picked up the puppy and gave him to me to hold.

He was so soft. His fur was like silk and he smelled so sweet, in a non-food way. He smiled up at me instead of his sad face. It made my silent heart melt. I needed him just like I needed Rosalie. Oh crap. I'm so glad she didn't hear me think that. I'd be dead. I'd have to make sure I didn't think about that near Eddie.

"I'll take him!" I told the saleswomen, her flinching at the excitement in my voice.

"Ok. Let me get you a carrier and the supplies you will need. You can stay here and play with him."

"Kay!" She left to let me alone with my puppy.

As she was getting the supplies, I thought over names. He needed a name that showed he was strong, but still a cutie-pie. Hercules was strong, but not soft. Pansy was soft, but not strong enough. Hmmm, what name would fit? I ran over hundreds of more names in my head. A few more names later, I had it! Tuffy! It was soft on the outside, but strong when you looked at the full meaning of the word. It was perfect!

The saleswoman came back a couple of minutes later with her arms full. She had a blue leash and matching collar, a gray carrier, a fluffy green and white bed, two silver food and water bowls, and two bags of dry dog food. She set them down on the bench and looked back at me.

"Do you have any ideas for names?" She asked me, while she was putting a small cushion on the inside of the carrier. She took Tuffy from me, and laid him carefully inside the carrier. She slipped the collar around his neck and carefully shut the door. She put the rest of the supplies in a larger paper bag, and led me to the registers.

"Tuffy!" I told her proudly.

"Well, that is a very nice name. All of your supplies are here. The puppy- er, Tuffy- is already trained, but he can't do tricks yet. You must feed him three times a day, and let him out whenever he needs to go. You should be able to figure out his habits fairly quickly." She added the total together quickly, and I paid with my credit card.

When she was about to talk again, her expression changed. It was flirty. I held in laughter. "So, uh, do you have a girlfriend?" She asked in a sugar-sweet voice while twirling a piece of her brown hair around her finger.

"Actually, I'm married." I told her, still trying to hold in my chuckles.

Her expression dropped and she said, "Oh." In a rejected voice. I was rolling in laughter on the inside.

"Good luck with, er, Tuffy." She told me, trying to sound convincing, and so not succeeding. She handed me Tuffy and his supplies, and I quickly exited the little pet store.

I walked swiftly, but still human, to my Jeep. I got some strange looks by the other mall-goers. They saw my huge muscled body, and teeny Tuffy, and were flabbergasted. They could tell by my huge smile that the puppy was mine, and not a gift for someone.

I placed Tuffy in the front seat, and strapped the multi-buckle seat belt around him. I wouldn't want my little Tuffy getting hurt! I quickly hopped in, and sped home.

Once I got home, I quickly parked in the garage before heading into the main house to show our family the newest addition.

I threw the door open and screamed, "HI!" and everyone jumped. Eddie-Pooh was frustrated for me blocking my thoughts, so he had no idea what was going on. Haha. After they recovered, I cleared my throat and told them my news.

"I have an announcement to make! We have a new addition to the Cullen family!"

They all exchanged looks with their partners, then looked back at me.

"Meet Tuffy!" I exclaimed proudly, pulling him out from behind my back.

My entire families mouths dropped open.


	2. Reaction

Chapter 2!!!

Reaction

(Still Emmett's POV)

I held Tuffy's carrier out so my family could see him. They just stared at the carrier with their mouths wide open. I checked to make sure he hadn't run away; nope, he hadn't. What was there problem?

Nessie, from Jacob's lap, spoke first, "You bought a puppy?" She asked like I was crazy. Whatever that meant. She started rolling in laughter.

Edward, Bella, and Jacob snapped out of their dazes and also started rolling in laughter. What was wrong with them? Why were they laughing at my Tuffy?!

Rosalie composed herself and went to walk in front of me.

"Emmett, honey," She began softly, "WHY THE HELL DID YOU BUY A PUPPY?!" She screamed at me. I felt Tuffy shift into the back of his carrier and whimper.

"Rose, stop! You scared Tuffy!" I pulled him out of the carrier and petted him until he calmed down.

Rose just shook her head, her face full of anger and disbelief.

"Where did you buy, er…Tuffy?" Jasper asked. Carlisle and Esme giggled as he said his name, and Edward, Bella, Nessie, and Jacob's laughter picked up again.

"At Jackie's Pet Store. Oh, and the sales lady totally flirted with me." I told him with a laugh. Rose's face got even angrier. I didn't know that was possible.

Jasper opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Alice, "You dare say what you are about to say, and you won't see any part of me for a month." Alice warned.

Jasper closed his mouth immediately. Haha that is probably a smart move when it comes to Alice.

"Emmett, where is Jackie's Pet Store?" Esme asked, eyeing the bag of supplies on the floor. I bet she was thinking about what she could do to help Tuffy. That was so sweet.

"That's not what she is thinking." Edward muttered. I glared at him.

I answered Esme's question. "In the downtown mall."

Alice suddenly got furious and she leaned towards me.

"WHAT?!" She shrieked. "YOU WENT TO THE MALL, AND DIDN'T BRING ME ALONG?! HAVE YOU UTTERLY LOST YOUR MIND?!"

"Emmett's in trouble." Jacob murmured to Nessie. She laughed.

"Okay, listen everyone." I started to explain. "I went to the pet store just to look at the puppies. Then I saw Tuffy. His face was so lonely, he needed someone to adopt him. So I figured it was my place to do just that. He needed a friend." I brought Tuffy and rubbed him against my cheek.

Rosalie growled at me, while the rest broke out in hysterics.

"Emmett, are you really responsible enough to take care of a dog?" Edward asked through giggles.

"Of course, Eddie-Pooh." I said in an obvious tone. He growled at my nickname for him, while Bella laughed.

"Emmett," Carlisle started, serious now. "Should you really have gotten a puppy? What if one of us is too hungry and Tuffy comes to close?"

I gasped. "None of you will hurt my little Tuffy! From now on, you will always have to be well fed! Tuffy is my best friend, and I would die if any of you hurt him."

Nessie laughed. "Emmett, you're already dead." She reminded me.

"I am going to set put Tuffy's food and water in the kitchen." I pulled out his fluffy bed and set it next to the couch. "That is where Tuffy can sleep. He is fully trained, but doesn't know any tricks. Yet. I do plan on teaching him, though." Rosalie began shaking her head.

I walked with Tuffy into the kitchen. We set up his food and water bowls, and I filled them both. He began eating right away. I put the extra bags of food in the cupboard.

I walked back into the other room. I set his leash on the wall near the front door, where we hung our keys, and slid his carrier under the table.

Carlisle and Esme was shaking their heads at me. Eddie and Bella weren't there anymore, but I'm not sure if I wanted to know where they were. Eww, bad mental picture! Jake, Nessie, and Jasper had turned their attention back to the TV. I could hear Alice going through her closet, and Rosalie stomping around in our room. Well, it looks like I'm not getting any tonight.

Tuffy ran back into the room, directly at me. I scooped him up in my arms, and he smiled up at me.

"Well, Tuffy; ready to learn some tricks?!"


	3. Edward's Shirt

**Chapter 3**

**Edward's Shirt**

**I own nothing Twilight, Jimmy Neutron, or Nickelodeon.**

**(The pet store he got Tuffy at, Jackie's Pet Store, may or may not be real. I made this specific one up; it is named after my best friend.)**

**Emmett's POV -Takes place in Backyard of Cullen house.**

**-Tuffy is standing on the ground looking up at Emmett **

"Alright Tuffy, we are going to learn some tricks! Let's see… roll over." I commanded him.

Tuffy rolled over onto his back, then got back on all fours.

"Good job!" I cheered. "What about fetch?" I tossed a small broken branch lightly, but it still went really far. I'm just that muscular. Tuffy ran into the trees after it. He brought it back to me.

"That was fantastic, my wittle Tuffy."

"Now, I'm actually going to teach you some you don't know. Hmm…what should we do?"

Just then, I had a brain blast! Oh no. I think I've been watching _Jimmy Neutron_ too much. No wonder Carlisle blocked Nickelodeon.

Anyway… I had the perfect idea for a trick. I grabbed little Tuffy and ran up to Edward's old room. I found one of his navy blue, button-down shirts that was still heavily saturated in his scent. There was also Bella's scent on the same shirt. Gross. Oh gosh, it was still her human scent.

I leaped back out the window and set Tuffy down again. I took Edward's shirt and put it directly under Tuffy's nose. He sniffed it, then grabbed the shirt in his teeth. He ran and dropped it in the river. Man, I love this dog.

"Okay Tuffy. You remember the scent?" I whispered. I blocked my thoughts so Eddie wouldn't here my amazing plan.

Tuffy nodded. Wow, this puppy is smarter than I thought.

"I want you to go find the 'person' with that scent when I snap my fingers. Lick them like crazy, and don't come back until I call you, 'kay?"

He nodded again. Man, this was going to be too easy. I positioned myself so I could see inside the house. Ah, I had the perfect view on Edward.

I snapped my fingers.

Tuffy ran into the house, his little legs moving so quickly. He was too adorable. He just kept making my heart melt. Tuffy ran straight at Edward, then hopped up onto the couch and climbed onto Edward's lap. He began licking his face, covering Eddie in puppy saliva.

The rest of my family broke out into hysterics. But Edward was getting furious.

"EMMETT! GET YOUR STUPID MUTT OFF OF ME!" He shouted. Haha, this was the best day ever.

Nessie got up before I could walk into the house. She took Tuffy and sat back down next to Jacob. She began petting Tuffy, and he fell asleep in her lap.

"Emmett, I gotta say it. I love your dog." Jacob chuckled, referring to Eddie's torture, and Nessie's happiness.

"Yeah, he's actually not that bad." Bella told me. Eddie glared at her, but when their eyes met, he calmed down. Man, he was whipped.

"I do, too." I said affectingly. Rosalie rolled her eyes and growled at me.

"Oh, Rose. Give Tuffy a chance! Once you get to know him, you'll love his little heart just like everyone else!"

"I don't love Tuffy!" Eddie reminded me.

"Rosalie, Edward. Honestly, Tuffy hasn't caused any problems. Yet. Give him a chance, he may grow on you." Carlisle said calmly, as Esme nodded her head.

Rosalie stood up and glared directly towards me. "Fine, I'll give him a chance." She glowered. "But pick this up for me." She handed me an order form. "It's a shirt I ordered. The company doesn't ship to personal houses. Only to their other stores. It's in Port Angeles."

"Sure." I told her. Tuffy looked like he would be sleeping for a while, so he wouldn't miss me.

"Yeah, I'm whipped." Edward muttered. I shot him a look.

"I'm going hunting." Rosalie announced. She stomped off into the forest, then launched herself over the river.

"I'll be back in an hour. If Tuffy wakes up, tell him I'll be back soon." I grabbed my keys and ran to my Jeep. I revved the engine, and raced down the driveway. The faster I went, the sooner I would get to be with my Tuffy again.

**Jasper's POV**

"Man, the lust Em is feeling towards Tuffy is making me nauseous." I made a disgusted face and Alice patted my hand.

"Tell me about it." Edward said as he was wiping his face off with a kitchen towel.

"Why did he buy a puppy anyway? He knows we eat animals right?" Bella asked confusedly.

"Well," Edward started then laughed. "Earlier, he was remembering the feelings he had when he first looked at Tuffy. And one of them was that he needed Tuffy like he needed Rosalie."

My entire family burst out into hysterics. Wow, I'm sure he really hopes Rosalie doesn't here that. She would be _pissed_, to say the least.

After we had calmed down, Bella spoke. "Man, we could totally use that against him."

"Yeah, but to get him back for what?" Nessie asked Bella.

"I'm sure he'll do something. Or Tuffy will." Jacob said with a smirk.

"Only time will tell." Carlisle muttered.

"Oh! Edward, did you get your last box from your room?" Esme reminded Edward.

"No, I didn't. Thank you for reminding me." Edward shot up the stairs to get the last of his things.

Edward was just about finished moving his stuff over to the cottage. Bella and Edward were still seeing what they could fit in, like which clothes would fit into their massive closet. Even though it was huge, Alice had stocked it full.

"Emmett." Edward said, furious, still in his room. What was wrong?

Next thing we knew, he was at the bottom of the stairs, face full of fury. Bella caught one glance of his face, and was immediately beside him.

"Edward, what's wrong?" She asked, slipping her hand into his. He calmed down a little at her touch.

"Have any of you seen my navy blue, button down shirt? It's gone." He said, fury rolling of his skin.

"I think Tuffy through it in the river." Alice spoke quietly, cringing into me.

"WHAT?!" Edward screamed. What was so important about a shirt anyway? Tuffy jumped awake, looking around in panic.

"What is so important about a shirt?" Nessie asked, while she was calming Tuffy down. Wow, we had the same thoughts. Creepy.

"That was the shirt I was wearing when I proposed to your mother." He told her.

Comprehension flicked across everyone of our faces. We all had a few special outfits we never got rid of, and the outfits we got engaged in was one of them.

Bella's emotions went into shock and horror. Edward was getting more and more furious by the second. Emmett was going to get it good when he got home.

We all turned our heads when we heard Emmett's jeep pulling up the driveway.

"It's on." Edward stated, heading towards the door.


	4. Where or where is Edward's Shirt?

**Chapter 4!!!**

**Where or where is Edward's shirt?**

**I own nothing.**

**AN: Thank you guys sooooo much for all of the awesome reviews!!! You guys are the best!! Since I'm so grateful, here is another new chapter!!! I'll try to update as much as possible- so don't worry, there is much more to come!**

**Emmett POV**

I walked up the porch near the house. I could hear my family talking, but I didn't listen to them. I was thinking about Tuffy, while twirling Rosalie's package on my fingertip. I opened the door to find Edward and Bella's faces identical masks of fury.

The next thing I knew, Rose's package was on the table and I was in the river. Tuffy was being held back by Nessie. He wanted to run out to me.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" I screamed. The current was trying to drag me down, but I held onto the edge of the lawn.

"GO GET MY SHIRT! YOU AREN'T COMING OUT UNTIL YOU HAVE IT!" Edward screamed.

What was so important about a shirt? Drama Queen.

"YOU IDIOT! THAT WAS THE SHIRT I WAS WEARING WHEN BELLA AND I GOT ENGAGED!"

Crap. Oh, crap. Maybe I should have been paying more attention when I grabbed one of his shirts.

"If you don't find it, you won't be seeing Tuffy _ever_ again!" Bella warned.

They were gunna take my Tuffy away?! NO! I needed him!!

"No!" I cried. "Don't take my Tuffy away from me!" I was shocked! I knew they were monsters, but I didn't think they were that bad!

"Then find his shirt!" Bella shouted. Jeez, she was so much more chill human.

"Swim or we're taking Tuffy!" Edward shouted.

I didn't want to go swim for miles until I found it, but my love for Tuffy won. I started swimming.

I swam nonstop, keeping my face in the water. At least the water was clean; it would be awful if it was dirty and full of junk.

About two hours later, my eye caught glance of something- or someone- staring at me from the side of the river. I looked up to see Rosalie staring at me in disbelief. Her hands were on her hips, and her shirt had been torn from her hunting trip. Man, she looked so sexy. I waved and winked, then went back to looking for Eddie's shirt.

About an hour later, I came across a tree that had slumped to the under the river. Edward's shirt was caught on one of the branches. It, mercifully, had not been ripped. If it had, Edward might rip my head off. Literally.

I grabbed the shirt, and got out of the water. I shook off the excess water like a puppy, which only reminded me of Tuffy. I missed him so much. I sprinted back home.

**Bella POV**

We were all furious, but Edward and I the most. That shirt was important to Edward and I both; it was the shirt Edward was wearing when we got engaged.

Edward was _really_ mad at Tuffy. He had taken a steel bird cage – where he found that; I have no idea- and locked Tuffy in it. He also ripped the key into pieces, and flushed them down the toilet. Sure, Emmett could rip the cage to pieces, but seeing Tuffy in the cage would destroy him. Edward had even placed the cage on the highest shelf in the room.

Everyone but Rosalie was sitting in the house. Jasper was trying to calm down the room, while Alice laughed as she saw visions of Emmett's progress. Carlisle and Esme were sitting peacefully on the couch, watching CNN. Nothing seemed to surprise them in the least bit about Emmett's behavior. Jacob and Nessie were playing _Rock Band_ upstairs, and from the sounds of it, Nessie was winning. That's my girl.

Just then, Rosalie walked through the back door. Her shirt was torn across her stomach and arms. Must've been a strong one. Her face was completely confused.

"Why the hell is my husband _swimming_ in the river?" Rosalie asked, taking in the scene; Esme and Carlisle's serenity, the _Rock Band_ blasting from upstairs, Jasper's calm, and Alice giggling every couple minutes.

"Tuffy through Edward's engagement shirt in the river, so we are making him go find it." Esme told her, laughing.

Rosalie laughed, then sat down and started flipping through a fashion magazine.

**1hour, 30 minutes later (Still Bella POV)**

"Emmett's coming!" Alice announced.

We could hear him walking up the porch, dripping wet. He opened the door.

"Don't you dare come in this house wet." Esme warned while tossing him a towel. She sat back down next to Carlisle.

"But Mom!" Emmett complained. "I'm completely soaked! The only way to get dry would be to take my clothes off!"

"Fine, then." Esme answered. "Just don't get my house wet."

"Eww! That was one of the most disgusting visions I have _ever_ had!" Alice whined, cringing into Jasper.

Rosalie shot up the stairs and returned with a set of clothes for Emmett. She handed him the clothes, then went to the keypad on the wall. She keyed in the code, and the metal panels covered the windows- blocking Emmett from everyone but Alice and Edward.

As soon as the panels covered the windows on all three floors, the _Rock Band_ suddenly paused. Nessie and Jake were downstairs in the next second.

"Why did a big metal sheet just go over the window?" Nessie asked.

"Emmett's naked outside."Jasper told her with a smirk.

"EWW!!!" Nessie shrieked, hiding her head in Jacob's chest. His arms wrapped around her. Even though I didn't necessarily love the imprinting, I had to admit, they were cute together.

Just then, there was a knock on the window.

"Please let me in." Emmett whimpered. "I miss Tuffy." Rosalie hissed at his last statement. "And Rosalie." He added quickly. Smart move.

Rosalie got up and unlocked the windows. The metal sheets flew up and Emmett was standing holding Edward's shirt. He had a towel tied into a turban around his head. Wow.

"Here's your damn shirt." Emmett growled, tossing the shirt to Edward. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw his shirt was undamaged. He left, through it in the dryer, and was back in the next second.

Emmett had calmed down, thanks to Jasper. He took another step into the house, and looked around for Tuffy.

His eyes reached the top shelf, where Tuffy was. His eyes bugged out, and he fell to his knees. He reached out into the air, grasping at nothing.

"TUFFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Emmett shrieked like a little girl.

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	5. Oh, Crap

**Chapter 5**

**Oh, Crap.**

**AN: I just wanna say thank you sooooo much for all the incredible reviews and adding me to your favorites list!!!!!!!!! I started jumping up and down as I read my email!**

**Ok, two more quick things:**

**Tuffy isn't dead. Edward locked Tuffy in a cage while Emmett was in the river, and put the cage on top of the highest shelf. Edward was a wee bit mad.**

**Yes, Rosalie will be featured more and will be getting a lot bitchier!(to put it lightly) (evil laugh)**

**I do not own Twilight or its characters. I only own Tuffy. Well, Emmett owns Tuffy, and Emmett belongs to Stephanie Meyer, but you get the point. Any names of side characters or stores(Jackie's Pet Store/ Salesclerk Colleen) are named after my friends!**

**Rosalie's POV**

Did my husband seriously just scream like a girl? Not like a manly girl, like a full on first-grader shriek? What happened to the macho man I once knew? Man, I really hated this stupid mutt.

Emmett dropped his hands onto the floor and just stared up at the mutt. He looked like he would be crying if that were possible. Wow, seriously? Crying over a dog? I was beyond furious with my husband at this point.

"Do you think he knows that if he stands up, he could reach Tuffy?" Nessie whispered.

"Baby, knowing Emmett, it might take a while for him to realize that." Bella whispered back.

"What am I going to do?!" Emmett cried.

"EMMETT! STAND UP AND GET THE CAGE!" I screamed at him.

"What?" He asked confused.

"STAND UP AND TAKE THE FREAKING CAGE OFF THE SHELF!"

He stood up and walked over to the shelf. He was about as tall at the shelf. He reached his hands up and pulled the cage down. He danced back and forth once he got the cage- thrilled with himself.

He set the cage down on the table, then eyed the lock on the door. He once again fell to his knees, glaring at Edward.

"You put a lock on it?! First, you put him in a cage, then you put a lock on it? You're so evil!" Emmett confronted Edward.

His he serious?! He could rip that entire cage, or the entire house for that matter, to pieces! And for some reason, he is feeling helpless!

"EMMETT!" I screamed. "RIP THE STUPID LOCK TO PIECES! IT'S ONLY METAL!"

He looked at me, flinched from my fury, then ripped the lock in half. He pulled the mutt out and rubbed him against his cheek. He crooned "Tuffy. I've missed you." Pathetic.

Apparently, the bird cage had been a dusty, because Tuffy was now covered in dust.

"Eww Emmett, Tuffy's filthy." Jacob whined. Another dog I really hated. Dogs_ really_ weren't my thing.

"Emmett, you should really wash him." Esme told him.

"Okay, I'll go get my shampoo." Emmett was about to run upstairs as Bella stopped him.

"Emmett do you know anything about dogs? Regular shampoos could get Tuffy seriously sick. You have to use dog shampoos."

"Oh. Well, I'm going to go get some then!" Emmett cheered, excited for another trip to the pet store. Seriously, those stores were meant to entertain little kids. Not grown men, or vampires.

Emmett left Tuffy out, then ran to his Jeep and sped off to get dog shampoo. What was so different from dog and people shampoo, I had no freaking idea.

Jasper left to go hunting, while everyone else relaxed into the main room. Everyone seemed to calm down now that Edward had his shirt back, and Emmett and Tuffy weren't in the room.

"What's the difference between people and dog shampoo anyway?"

"Nothing at all. People shampoo would work just the same as dog shampoo. I just wanted him out of the house." Bella told me, smirking.

We all broke out in hysterics for several minutes. When we had calmed down a bit, I spoke out.

"I knew I always loved you." I told her.

She laughed. "Sure, Rosalie. Sure, you did."

**Emmett POV**

I got to go back to Tuffy's old home- Jackie's Pet Store! I was so excited to go back, even though I wasn't buying a dog. Rosalie was furious enough as it, another puppy might not help.

As I walked into the pet store, the same salesclerk was there. She had a nametag on this time; her name was Colleen. She was flipping through some gossip magazine, not paying attention to the store. Wow, I could rob this place and no one would know.

I walked right up to the counter. She didn't respond, so I spoke first.

"HI!" I accidentally screamed.

She was surprised, to say the least. The magazine flew out of her hands, she shrieked, and fell off the stool. The stool tipped over on top of her, and the magazine landed open on top of her face.

"I'm so sorry!" I apologized as she stood up. She was rubbing the back of her head, but picked up the stool and magazine.

"No, no. It's fine. I was just a little spooked. So, um… how are things with Tuffy?" She asked. She remembered me, and my puppy's name. Stalker anyone?

"Fantabulous!" I answered excitedly, her flinching. "But he got a little dusty, so I need some shampoo."

"Oh, don't you have any at home? People shampoo works the exact same."

Damn Bella. She tricked me so I would have to leave Tuffy. She was so evil.

"Oh, I didn't know you could do that." I told her honestly, embarrassed.

"Well, since you are here, why don't you buy Tuffy some toys?" She suggested.

TOYS! I hadn't thought about toys, but whenever I had to leave him, he must be so lonely. He would love a little squeaky toy to play with. It was an excellent idea for my wittle Tuffy.

Colleen showed me where the toys were, then left me to pick some out. She handed me a basket, sensing I was going to need it. I was.

About one hour after being in the toy section, I had the basket filled with toys. There were so many to choose from; it took me that long to make up my mine.

I was about to go check out, when I spotted the clothes aisle. Of course! Tuffy was so little, he must get cold so quickly. I needed to get him some nice furry sweaters to keep himself warm.

I had a second basket filled with clothes. I had some little argyle sweaters, fuzzy slippers for his teeny feet, and so much more. I picked only fashionable doggy clothes- to please Alice. I would've also tried to please Rosalie with them, but she was too pissed to have anything please her.

I came across the graphic sweatshirt section. There were a bunch of 'life is ruff', and 'woof, woof' shirts, but none would suit Tuffy. I was just about to leave the aisle when I spotted the perfect shirt.

It was bright green and said, "Tuff Stuff" in silver sparkles. Tuff! TUFFY!!!!! It was the perfect shirt.

I brought my two overstuffed baskets to the check out. Colleen was surprised by how much I had bought for one dog, but didn't say anything.

I ended up going home with six bags full of stuff for Tuffy. They only had really small bags left, so she had to use multiple bags. I grabbed my bags and went to me Jeep. I was so excited by what I had just bought Tuffy, so I decided to skip through the mall. I was happily skipping my way along when I was stopped by the mall cop. He was five times smaller than me, but told me people had complained about my skipping. Well. I guess some people just don't like to have fun.

**3 hours later- back at Cullen house- Rosalie's POV**

"Jeez, what is taking Emmett so long? He has been at the pet store for three hours." Jacob said.

"Yeah, and he didn't actually need anything there." Nessie added.

"Let's just hope he doesn't come home with another puppy." Esme resolved.

"Oh, dear gosh no. Not another puppy. Anything but that." Bella said. I totally agreed with her there.

"Oh crap." Alice gasped, jumping up to watch the window.

I worried she saw Emmett doing something, well… Emmett-y, but she was watching Jasper walking out of the trees. He was carrying something. Was that Tuffy? Why the hell would Jasper be carrying Tuffy? Tuffy had his eyes closed, and was flinching every couple of minutes. He walked in the house.

"Jasper, what happened to Tuffy?" Carlisle asked.

"Ok, so I was hunting a deer when I heard something come up behind me." He explained. "I was completely focused, so I thought it was bear about to attack me. It smelled like it. I let the deer run away, and started hunting the approaching animal. I bit down on the animal's neck, but hadn't started drinking yet. I then realized the animal was Tuffy. I immediately released him."

"What are you trying to say, Jasper?" Jacob asked.

"Well. I think I turned Tuffy into a vampire."

**Please Review!!! More Chapters to Come!!!**


	6. My Baby!

**Chapter 6**

**My baby!**

**Thank you guys for the ah-mazing reviews. You guys seriously are the best!! I know I say it every time but I wanna make sure you guys know it!!!! **

**I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. **

**This chapter is dedicated to VampireChic666 for reviewing on every chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

**And the moment you all have been waiting for… **

**Tuffy POV!!!!!!!!!!!!! Starts as Emmett leaves to get Tuffy shampoo! (please remember he is a dog, so his mind will wander a little bit)**

No! My Emmy left me! But from the sounds of it, he will be coming back soon. I got dirty so he went to get me shampoo. Hehe, that's fun to say! Shampoo… shampoo…shampoo… shampoo…

Jasper just ran past me in the backyard. Emmett had let me out to use the bathroom, but I had 'went' in Edward's bird cage. That's what he will get for putting me in that dust chamber. I was bored, so I decided to follow Jasper.

He was really fast, but I could smell where he had gone. I ran along his trail until it came to a clearing. Jasper was circling a big deer. What was he doing? He looked tensed and weally scary.

I was about to run back the other way when Jasper paused. I paused too; worried he was mad at me. He sniffed at the air, then turned too fast for me to see where the move came from. He pounced at me. I quivered down. I was so scared. His razor sharp teeth dug through my neck and I yet out a painful yelp.

Jasper immediately released me, dropping me back to the ground. He stared at me for several moments, as I calmed back down.

Then the pain hit me. My neck and chest started burning. It felt like I was on fire. The fire quickly spread to my legs, tail, and everywhere else on my body. It hurt so bad! It felt like I was hotter than Rosalie, Emmett's wife. And she was smokin'.

Jasper picked me up and started running. He was even faster than I thought. It felt like we were flying. The cool air helped distract me from the burning, so I tried to hold still. I seemed able to cool myself down, but then the fire would pick right back up again. I closed my eyes to concentrate, but I still kept flinching every couple of minutes.

We were back to the house in record time. The fire was really hot now. I wanted Emmy to hold me, not scary Jasper. Where was he?!

The Cullens started talking about me. I listened carefully.

"Jasper, what happened to Tuffy?" Carlisle asked. He was the nice one.

"Ok, so I was hunting a deer when I heard something come up behind me." He explained. "I was completely focused, so I thought it was bear about to attack me. It smelled like it. I let the deer run away, and started hunting the approaching animal. I bit down on the animal's neck, but hadn't started drinking yet. I then realized the animal was Tuffy. I immediately released him."

He was going to drink my blood?! MONSTER!!! I WANT MY EMMY!!!

I realized my Emmy wasn't there! But they were still talking about me.

"What are you trying to say, Jasper?" Jacob asked. He was nice, but _way_ too mushy around Nessie. I mean seriously, get a room.

"Well. I think I turned Tuffy into a vampire." The scary monster said. Vampire? What was a vampire? Was it some type of food? I'm hungry.

Just then, I heard someone whistling. It was my Emmy! He was home! He would get me away from the scary monster! But then he screamed and dropped something on the ground.

"MY BABY!" Emmett yelled, rushing over to me. He took me out of Jasper's arms and rocked me back and forth. His cool hands cooled me down, but the fire raged on. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!" He screamed at Jasper.

"Well, I was out hunting and he came up behind me… and I accidentally turned him into a vampire dog." Jasper said, cringing.

Emmett sucked in a shocked gasp. Wouldn't anyone explain to me what a vampire was?!

He passed me to Nessie. Ah, her skin was so hot! It made it seem like the flames inside of me increase! I squirmed around, looking for a way out of the hot arms, but Nessie held me tight.

Emmett threw Jasper out the window. "HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY LITTLE TUFFY!" Emmett screamed, appalled. Jasper tried to climb back in the window, but Emmett kicked him out. He groaned, and a loud thud hit the ground. I'm glad my Emmy took care of the scary monster.

Emmett took me back in his arms, and I was relieved to be back in cool hands.

Just then, something happened. The fire in my beating heart got hotter, and the pounding increased. The fire from my paws went away, but it just went to my heart. It was so hot! I twitched uncontrollably while Emmett held me tightly. I couldn't stop squirming; it was just too hot!

When the pain was almost unbearable, my heart took off. It beat three more beats, then stopped. I couldn't hear my breaths, or my heart. What was going on?!

"It's over." Carlisle whispered. I looked around the room at the Cullen's shocked faces.

I was really thirsty. I wanted something to drink. Everything was so clear! I could see everything!

Rosalie was five thousand times hotter! Wow, I didn't think that was possible!

Alice was so beautiful, and so teeny. She had the cutest spiky hair, and looked so graceful.

Edward had pretty hair. I wondered what shampoo he used. Hehe, shampoo!

Bella was gorgeous. She had nice brown hair, and a really toned body. Pretty!

Nessie was so amazing. She had the most perfect facial features, and dazzling eyes.

Jacob was BIG. He was even bigger than Emmy. He looked scary.

Esme looked so sweet. She looked exactly like the motherly type.

Carlisle looked concerned. He looked like he wanted to come and check me out. And I don't mean the doctoral way.

Emmett was wicked muscular. He had a huge chest, and huge arms. But I was still in his arms, and he was comfy. I snuggled in closer, and he smiled a huge, gleaming smile.

I heard someone else come in so I turned my head.

AHHHHH!!!!!! THE MONSTER WAS BACK!!! JASPER!!!!! AHHH!!!!

Emmett squeezed me tighter in one arm and took something in his other hand. It was a little bottle, the kind you use to feel lambs. Or sheep. Hehe. Sheep. That was fun to say. Like shampoo. Shampoo…shampoo…shampoo…

He put the bottle in my mouth and I began drinking it. It was blood, but instead of being grossed out I was happy. It tasted really good, and it cured the scratchy feeling in my throat. Ahh…

"Well, first things first," Emmett put me down on the couch, and went to pull out a pea green argyle sweater. He put it on me, and saw Alice's eyes bugging out of her sockets.

"What do you think, Alice?" Emmett asked, holding me up for her to see.

"It's… pea…pea…PEA GREEN!!!!" Alice screamed.

**Hehe! Alice doesn't seem to like pea green too well. So Tuffy's a vamp puppy!! Should he have a special power?! I need suggestions, so send me your ideas in a PM or review!!! PLEASE REVIEW!! 3333**


	7. Special Tuffy

**Chapter 7**

**Special Tuffy**

**AN: Thank you again for all the amazing reviews!!! Ok, so more said yes to powers than no, so powers win! I LOVED all of your suggestions for Tuffy's power! The winner is… TwilightBabeh09!!!! So to say thank you for TwilightBabeh09's idea, this chapter is dedicated to them! Their idea will now be Tuffy's power!! (You will find out what that is if you read the chapter…)(Hehe, evil laugh) Anyways… Enjoy and Review!**

**I don't own the Twilight Saga. Duh.**

**Emmett POV**

My…Tuffy… was…a…vampire. Why didn't I think of that?! Now Tuffy would live forever! YAY!

I was still mad at Jasper though. If my Tuffy was going to become a vampire, I wanted to be the one to change him! I wasn't even there when Tuffy started transforming. Since Tuffy was so little, the transformation didn't last long. It only took a couple of hours, but it still hurt him. He had flinched every couple of seconds. It broke my heart to see Tuffy in pain.

Tuffy was fine now. He was running around the backyard chasing his tail, while I watched him from the porch. He had done that before, and it was funny, but now he had vampire speed.

All of a sudden, Tuffy stopped. He looked like he was thinking hard about something. He looked at me, and seemed like he wanted to say something. Man, I wish he could talk! Then we could share all of our deepest, darkest secrets. I would tell him about my favorite movie and shoes, about my favorite pranks to play, and about Mr. Snuggles, my teddy bear I slept with every night…

He ran up to me and leaped into my arms. He kept thinking about something, then he made my mouth drop open.

He turned into a cup of blood. He landed on the floor, jumping out of my arms, right side up. After about thirty seconds, the cup shook, and he was back into a dog again. HE HAD A POWER! TUFFY HAD A POWER!

I picked Tuffy up and ran into the house. I burst through the door, accidentally shattering the glass. I heard Esme gritting her teeth, but I mean come on. I'm just _that_ strong.

"GUESS WHAT!" I screamed, so excited to tell them mine, or Tuffy's, news.

"Emmett, we can hear you just fine. You don't need to scream." Carlisle reminded me. I ignored him.

"TUFFY HAS A SUPERPOWER!" I announced.

My whole family was silent for a few minutes, but Rose spoke first. Well, shrieked might be a better word.

"WHAT?! YOU MEAN TO TELL US THAT YOUR STUPID MUTT HAS A SUPERPOWER?!"

"Yeah! And since he is going to live forever, it is awesome!" I jumped up and down like a little kid in a candy store.

"Live…forever?" Rosalie hesitated.

"Rose, he's a vampire now. He's going to live forever." Nessie told her calmly.

"YOU MEAN I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT THING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?!" Rose was once again shouting. I nodded. She growled at me and stormed up the stairs. I waited until she was all the way upstairs to speak again.

"So… would you like to see his power?!" I was once again hopping.

I heard Edward whisper to Bella that I looked like a bunny. Gosh, bunnies are so not muscular, thank you very much. Edward rolled his eyes. Stupid mind reader.

"What is his power, Emmett?" Esme asked calmly.

"Go Tuffy." I set him down on the ground.

Instead of turning into a cup of blood, he turned into an orange ball. He bounced three times, then went back to dog form.

"That's weird. Last time he turned into a cup of blood." I picked Tuffy back up and held him in my arms.

"He changes into what he wants." Alice informed me. "When he changed into a cup of blood, he was thirsty. When he changed into a ball, he wanted to play fetch. Since he can't talk, that is his way of communicating."

"Oh! Wait… I thought you couldn't see species that you never experienced?"

"Well, he is a vampire. I can see his decisions clearly now."

"Yay! My Tuffy is special!" I clapped my hands and jumped up and down.

**Rosalie POV**

Gosh, what was the dog doing to my family? I really didn't hate Tuffy, I just hated what he was turning my family into.

Carlisle and Esme are just amused by Emmett's immatureness. They think it's funny the way he is acting.

Nessie and the other dog have been recording Emmett when he plays with Tuffy. They made a channel on YouTube, and the videos of him acting all mushy to Tuffy have gotten over ten-million hits each.

Bella and Edward are too in love to notice anything. Seriously though, there is a reason why their cottage is so far away. No one needs to hear them.

Alice is just happy to have something to dress up and play Barbie with. Since Bella has gotten a sense of style, (_no one_ knows where that came from) Alice has had nothing to dress up and style. Emmett tried to pick out cute clothes, but failed miserably. The only semi-cute one is a shirt that says, "Tuff Stuff." In sparkles.

Jasper has been in a good mood since Tuffy arrived. Well, except when he got kicked out the window. Since everyone else is happy, Jasper reading their emotions has made him happy.

Emmett is so in love with that puppy. He spends all his time playing with him. Either he is teaching him tricks, or just being all mushy-gushy to it. He no longer pays attention to me, or my impossible beauty. He is so worried about something happening to him, but he's a vampire now. Jeez, he's indestructible for goodness sake! I haven't talked to him when Tuffy isn't around since he bought him. He never leaves Tuffy's side, and if Tuffy tries to leave, Em follows him. We haven't had… had…"fun"… in over a week. That is a record for us.

I sat down on my computer and started shopping online. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but I found a few cute tops and a couple pairs of jeans.

I suddenly had the perfect idea. A way Tuffy could be safe, Emmett could still see him, and I could get my Em back. I would need Esme's help, but I knew she would be on board.

I ran downstairs and caught Alice in a vision. I tried not to laugh, but Em's words rang through my head. He had once told me he thought that when Alice had a vision, it looked like a cross between two things; constipated and when he threw her favorite Dolce&Gabbana shoes in a fire "by accident".

Alice snapped out of her vision and looked at Emmett.

"If I were you, I would feed that dog. Now." Alice warned.

"Oh! Okay then…" Emmett ran and got Tuffy's blood bottle and fed it to him.

After about five minutes, Tuffy was finished. He took the bottle in his teeth and slung in across the room. It was aimed at the window Esme had just fixed- the one Jasper was kicked out of.

Esme caught the bottle just in time, and threw it to the ground.

"If any of you break that window again…"

**Ohh cliffy! Sorry I had to do that! Sooooo now it's your turn… complete the sentence! What is Esme about to threaten?! The best suggestion will get the next chapter dedicated to them and have their idea complete the sentence!!! Thanks for reading and please review!**


	8. Cullen History

**Chapter 8**

**Cullen History**

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews and the suggestions! Your suggestions were just amazing… and hilarious! I'm going to combine one of my ideas, with the idea of VampireChic666! (I realized I already dedicated a chapter to them, but I looked at all the ideas before I looked at the names.) So… this chapter is dedicated to her!! You guys are so awesome and as long as you want me to, I'll keep writing!**

**Ok so I was watching the **_**Devil Wears Prada**_** while typing this, and the moment I looked up, a sign on the screen said LAURENT. Literally freaking out. Omg!**

**I don't own Twilight. Doesn't everyone know that by now?**

**Esme POV**

Tuffy's bottle was flying towards the newly repaired window at vampire speed. I caught it in just the nick of time, and slammed it to the floor.

"If any of you break that window again…" I started to warn. I took a deep breath before I went into a full-on threat mode.

"What?" Jasper asked, gripping Alice more tightly around the waist.

"If a guy breaks it, I will let Alice unleash her makeover powers on them."

"YES!" Alice shrieked, jumping up and down, clapping her hands.

"If a girl breaks it, she will be sent away with no contact to Jasper, Emmett, Edward, or Jacob. For a month."

Everyone visibly cringed, holding onto their mates tighter.

"If Emmett breaks it, Tuffy is sent to the Volturi."

"NO!" Emmett screamed, squeezing Tuffy to his chest.

I turned around and ran up the stairs. I walked into mine and Carlisle's room and sat down at my desk. I pulled out my _Cullen_ _History_ notebook. I opened up to a clean page, dated it, and began writing.

_5.7.09 Window Traumas_

_Today, the back window was broken for the tenth time. Carlisle was working, so I had to repair it. I gave them their appropriate threats: boys- Alice's makeover powers are unleashed; girls- girls are sent away with no contact to partners; Emmett- Tuffy is sent to Volturi._

_The threats were harsh, but necessary. My family needs to learn the consequences of this type of behavior, as they never have before._

_These are the times the window has been destroyed before:_

_Edward ran away from Alice's visions on day of saving Bella from car crash. He crashed out of the window instead of taking five more steps to walk out the door._

_Jasper threw Emmett out the window when Emmett spray -painted Jasper's Ducati with: _Union Beats Confederate.

_Alice threw Emmett out the window when he came down wearing a pea green shirt. Huh. It just made sense why Alice started twitching uncontrollably when Tuffy wore pea green._

_When Rosalie and Emmett first met, they forgot if you backed into a window with vampire strength- while making out- the window would shatter. They landed in the river._

_After my family voted to give Bella immortality, Edward ripped the TV in half and through it out the window._

_Tuffy jumped out of the window to go to the bathroom. Even with vampire memory, he still forgot he had to do that._

_Tanya was over and stole Rosalie's makeup. Rosalie launched her out of the window in seconds._

_Bella filmed Emmett dancing to "My Humps." And posted it on YouTube. It received over ten million hits. It is on my favorites list. Emmett threw Edward out the window, since Bella was human at the time._

_Emmett accidentally posted pictures of Rosalie all over the Internet, after trying to upload them onto his computer. Let's just say Rosalie wasn't…'covered'… in those pictures. Rosalie promptly threw him into the mountains._

_And of course, Emmett threw Jasper out the window after Jasper mistakenly turned Tuffy into a vampire._

_That window had been replaced too many times. The window store now had that exact style of window pre-made. It was called the "Cullen Design." Whenever I called, the sales people knew exactly why._

_Esme Cullen_

I signed the page and closed the book. I could hear my children talking about the threats. Some sounded furious, some sounded annoyed. I could hear they had questions for me, so I decided to go face them.

Before I even took a seat next to Carlisle on the couch, the drilling began.

"Okay, so what happens if you break the window?" Rosalie asked, grimacing as she took in Emmett rocking Tuffy back and forth.

"The same thing applies." I told them honestly. I would never break that window, but I saw Carlisle cringe.

"What if Tuffy breaks the window?" Nessie said.

"The same thing that applies to the boys." I told her without missing a beat.

"Why does my punishment have to be the worst?!" Emmett cried.

"It's only bad to you." Rosalie muttered, clearly wanting Tuffy out of the house.

They continued to murmur about the threats, when I noticed Edward and Bella were nowhere in sight.

"Where are Bella and Edward?" I asked.

"You don't want to know." Alice answered, covering her eyes and cringing into Jasper.

I felt bad for my talented children. Sure, their talents came in handy at times, but having to _see _personal moments, _hear_ personal moments, and _feel_ personal moments would come to be too much.

I walked into the kitchen to tidy up the room. It wasn't messy, just cluttered. Since Nessie has been born, we have had to have more human food for her and Jake. Oh, the human food was getting dangerously low.

Rosalie walked into the kitchen then. She looked annoyed yet thoughtful at the same time. She sat on top of the counter, watching me as I made a grocery list.

"Can I help you with something, Rosalie? You seem worried."

"Well… are you going to the store soon?" She asked suddenly.

"Yes, in about two minutes."

"Can I come? I wanna talk to you about something." She shocked me. She never wanted to come with me to the grocery store with me before; she hated how they smelled.

"Sure." I said, my voice accidentally quivering.

We went to the car and started towards the store. We were driving in Rosalie's M3 for only one minute before she started driving. She was driving slower than usual; I guessed she had much to talk about.

"Esme, I want to talk to you about Emmett."

"Is everything OK? Have you two been having problems?" I couldn't imagine that possible, but why was she so worried?

"Ever since Tuffy got here, I haven't even talked to Em. He is so worried about something happening to him. I haven't had a moment alone with him in over a week. Tuffy is changing him, and I want the Emmett I know back. I want _my _Em back." He voice broke as she said the last statement.

Rosalie wasn't angry towards Tuffy, just the way he had changed Emmett. She wanted the true, immature, goofy Emmett back.

"Rose, you really love him, don't you." It wasn't a question, but she nodded.

"What about building Tuffy a doghouse?" Rosalie suggested. "That way Tuffy could have a place to go; so Emmett and I would get the time we needed."

DECORATING TIME! "I would love to help you! We could make it the size of the cottage, but with not as big of a closet…"

We continued on with talks of Tuffy's house for the rest of the ride. We decided to stop at the mall instead; we could go to the store later. We had enough food to last for a couple more days.

We were en route to Pottery Barn, when we passed Jackie's Pet Store. I stopped Rosalie.

"Wait, I have an idea."

**THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!! IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SEE OR ANY SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT THEY ARE!! **


	9. Rosalie Meets Colleen

**Chapter 9**

**Rosalie Meets Colleen**

**AN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! Hehe Its May 9****th****! Yay! **

**Anyway…You guys are the sweetest ever!!! Your reviews are unbelievable and you make me feel so loved! Last chapter, I forgot to mention the Volturi idea came from sparky! So this chapter is dedicated to them! Please keep reviewing and feel free to give me some ideas!! **

**The picture that I used to describe Tuffy is now in my profile!! **

**I don't own Twilight. Well, duh. Have you seriously not figured that out by now?**

**Rosalie POV**

We paused in front of Jackie's Pet Store. Esme was the one who stopped first, but I got an idea.

"Will we need anything from there?" Esme asked, pointing to the door.

We would need toys and clothes, but I had an idea I wanted to do alone.

"Probably, but I can handle it. Go off to Pottery Barn, I have an idea." I told her, taking a step towards the store.

"Okay, if you need any help, call me." Esme told me, walking off towards the direction of Pottery Barn.

I walked into the store and was immediately overwhelmed by the scent. It smelled absolutely horrendous. There was a young woman sitting behind the counter. I could see from here, the name on her nametag was Colleen. I think Emmett had mentioned something about a Colleen helping him.

I walked up to the counter, and she put the magazine down. She looked at me, from my head to my toes, then back up to my face. She was immediately taken in by my beauty, but who wouldn't be?

"Can I help you, miss?" She asked, jealousy seeping into her voice.

"Yeah, do you remember an Emmett Cullen, by any chance?"

"Nope." She answered, popping her lips as she said the 'p'.

"How about his dog? Tuffy?" I suggested. Her eyes popped wide as I said Tuffy.

"Oh, of course I remember him. He was beautiful." Colleen said, her eyes drifting off into a trance.Why would this lady have a crush on Tuffy? Psycho.

"Why do you have a crush on Tuffy?" I asked, not able to keep the disgust out of my voice.

"No, not Tuffy. Emmett." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, he is beautiful. I would know." I told her smugly.

"How?" She asked, but she didn't sound like she meant to.

"He's my husband." I told her smirking.

Her face immediately fell. She blushed the brightest red possible, totally embarrassed. She was the color of the red bows on Christmas wreaths. Two minutes passed, and she still hadn't gotten over her embarrassment.

"So, can I help you find something?" She asked, her voice low and depressed.

"Yeah, Tuffy is getting a little lonely. Could I buy a girl puppy to keep him company?" I asked.

"You want to buy a girlfriend for Tuffy?" She asked, her mouth falling open. I nodded.

She led me over to the dog room, and told me to pick out a dog while she went and got me what I needed to take care of her.

There were like twenty puppies running around, almost all shying away from me. Wow, that just gives me such a warm feeling inside. Only one came over to me. It was a pure white Yorkie, the same kind as Tuffy, and the same size. She had a little pink bow in between her ears and a pink collar with fake rhinestones. Even though I didn't love puppies, she was the cutest thing I had ever seen!

Colleen came back in with an armful of pink supplies. She had a pink carrier, pink and white bed, pink and silver dog bowls, and pink grooming accessories. Wow, so much pink. I loved it! So would Alice, but the weird thing is I thought I smelled her scent. I immediately dismissed it, why would she be here?

"Which one would you like?" Colleen asked.

"That one." I said pointing to the one I wanted.

She picked him up and gave her to me. She was so cute! Her fur was so smooth and soft. She rubbed her head against my arm, then reached up with her little paw. She was perfect!

"I'll take her!" I told Colleen excitedly.

"Ok, I'll bring everything over to the checkout." She started gathering the supplies.

"Ok, where are the clothes? I wanted to get some for her."

"Right there on aisle two."

I walked over to the aisle and saw that a little black haired pixie was waiting for me.

"You didn't actually think you would be buying Amira clothes without me, did you?" Alice asked me. I knew I smelled her scent.

"Who is Amira?" I asked her.

"The dog. I saw what you were going to name her. It means little princess. Can I hold her?" Alice asked hopping up and down, holding her hands together; pleading.

"Little princess. Amira. I like it." I told her while handing Amira to her. I looked next to her on the ground and saw two baskets already filled with clothes. I sifted through them, pleased with what I saw. They were all perfect, but when it came to Alice and shopping, everything always was.

We walked over to the checkout, Colleen surprised by Alice's sudden appearance. We checked out and went to meet Esme at the car.

"Did you bring your own car?" I asked Alice. She had to get here somehow.

"No, I ran. It was completely cloudy, so I was able to sneak in the back."

We got to the car then. Esme looked at Alice in complete confusion, but understood when she saw that Alice was carrying shopping bags.

Then she looked at me, saw Amira in my arms, and the look of confusion returned.

"I figured if Tuffy isn't lonely anymore, then Emmett would spend more time with me."

"So you bought Tuffy a girlfriend?" Esme asked us.

Alice and I both nodded.

"What is happening to my family?" Esme muttered, shaking her head.

We got in my car and sped home. Esme seemed to change her mind about us being crazy after she held Amira.

I could hear Emmett playing with Tuffy as we pulled up to the house.

Emmett was trying to get Tuffy to play fetch, but every time he threw the ball, Tuffy would look at it, then just sit where he was.

"Emmett, Tuffy," I said, waiting until I had their attention.

"Meet Amira." I said, holding her up.

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	10. Catch, Windows, and Love

**Chapter 10  
****Catch, Windows, and Love**

**AN: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! In case you are wondering, I'm on U.S. east coast. Thanks again for the reviews!!!! I don't think I'll ever be able to say that enough!  
****Amira does mean little princess, and you'll see why that is her name! I also posted the picture I described Amira off of in my profile!!! Anyway… read and review!! **

**Edward POV**

"Meet Amira." Rosalie had just told our family. Another dog? Jeez, what was going on here? _Now I'll get my time with Em. _Rosalie thought smugly.

"You got me another puppy?!" Emmett screamed. Seriously, did he have any common sense? _I got another puppy, I got another puppy… _Emmett sang in his head. Wow, I guess that answers my question.

"Nope. I got a friend for Tuffy." Rosalie set Amira down. Tuffy ran over and held out his paw. Amira shook it with her paw. _Awww… _I heard from Rosalie's head. They ran off into the forest, finally going to collect the balls Emmett had thrown.

"He left me." Emmett whimpered.

"Sweetie, let's go up to our room. We can talk about it." Rosalie chided, while thinking; _SCORE!_

"Alright." He said, slipping his arm around her waist. Rosalie's mind was wandering to less appropriate topics, so I asked Bella to block her for me.

For three straight hours, we had to hear the sounds coming from their room. Rosalie had comforted Emmett for a minute, then explained her story. He felt so guilty, he had promised to give her whatever she wanted; about five seconds later I was hearing thoughts no one ever wants to hear.

Emmett and Rosalie finally came back downstairs. Joy. His arm was still around her waist, but it was getting lower and farther back; it was going…somewhere else. Disgusting.

"Where are Tuffy and Amira?" Rosalie asked, giggling as Emmett's hand moved to…eww. Just eww. Not that Bella and I weren't the same- if not worse- but we showed it to each other _in private_. Sometimes.

"I think they are in Dad's room." Nessie said, while talking with Alice over the newest Prada bag.

Eww, my room? I just really hope they aren't doing what I think they are doing. I listened to their thoughts- and quickly skipped out of them. They were.

"TUFFY!" "AMIRA!" Emmett and Rosalie yelled. Wow, could they be more obnoxious?

Tuffy and Amira ran downstairs. Emmett wanted to play fetch; they turned around and ran back upstairs. Bella and I started rolling on the floor laughing.

"Edward, play catch with me." Emmett said, tossing the ball in his hands.

"Eww, no. I don't want to play with some dog saliva-covered bouncy ball."

"Fine then, I didn't want to do this…" He trailed off, and then nauseated me with his thoughts.

_Man, she is so soft. She is the best in bed…_ Emmett thought, replaying the most disgusting memories I had ever seen.

"Fine Emmett, I'll play! Just make it stop!" I whined, covering my ears. His thoughts disappeared in seconds; Bella. Just one more reason why she is the love of my life.

We were tossing the ball back and forth. Emmett didn't want to walk outside for some reason; so we were playing inside the house. Good thing Esme was upstairs; she would kill us if she saw us. Tuffy and Amira came back downstairs, watching our game. They looked like they were watching a tennis game, but Amira not being a vampire dog, couldn't see the ball in flight.

Emmett had stopped thinking about Rosalie in a way I care not to mention, so Bella had let down the barrier. His was thinking about whipping the ball at me as hard as he could. Wow, he forgot I could read thoughts.

He decided to throw it, so just as it was about to hit me in the face, I ducked. The ball crashed into the newly repaired window. The window shattered, falling all over the floor and porch. I heard Esme growl, and come rushing down the stairs.

"Who…broke…that…window?" Esme said, trying to not explode in anger.

Emmett pointed at me; I pointed at him. He was the one who threw it! Esme was going to believe me; Emmett was more likely. Haha.

But then I realized Amira was standing in front of me, looking at Esme. She raised her paw and pointed at me. Oh, no she didn't.

_That's my girl!_ Rosalie.

"Alice…" Esme said, glaring at me.

"YES!!!" Alice screamed, jumping up and down on the couch.

Ughhh, I didn't want an Alice makeover! She came up behind me and grabbed my arm, towing me up to her and Jasper's room. She immediately got to work. Whoop-de-doo.

**Esme POV**

I was sitting at my desk, sketching the design for Tuffy and Amira's house. After three hours, Rosalie and Emmett's room finally became quiet. I love them dearly, but sometimes they can be a bit much.

I couldn't hear what the others were doing; they seemed to be playing some type of game. I heard the rush of air; were they playing catch_ in_ the house?!

Just then, I heard the window shatter. I could tell from looking out my window, it was the same window. I growled accidentally and sped downstairs.

"Who…broke…that…window?" I growled, trying to control my anger.

Emmett and Edward pointed at each other. I was going to believe Edward. Emmett was far more likely to break it.

Just then, Amira raised her little white paw and pointed at Edward. Edward broke my window? He knows better than to play ball inside the house!

"Alice…" I said, glaring at Edward.

"YES!!!" Alice shrieked, jumping up and down on the couch. She grabbed Edward by the elbow and yanked him up to her room.

I looked at Emmett; he breathed a sigh of relief. So he threw the ball, but Edward ducked. This had happened before, but Carlisle managed to catch the ball before it hit the window.

"Emmett, fix the window. Now." I told him, running back up to my room.

_Cullen History_

_5.10.2009 __Make that eleven times._

_Esme Cullen_

I closed the notebook and ran back downstairs. Rosalie, Emmett, and Tuffy were staring at Amira. She looked sick; then she suddenly threw up on the floor. What was wrong with her?

She seemed fine seconds after. Rosalie and Emmett had gone back to sitting on the couch, Rose's legs in his lap. Tuffy stayed near Amira, looking concerned. Aww, I think they loved each other!

As Amira turned sideways, I noticed something. Amira's stomach seemed a little bigger.

Could she… no she… is that… had they _loved_ each other?

I think we were having a Bella + Edward = Nessie replay.

**THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!**


	11. PUPPIES!

**Chapter 11**

**PUPPIES!**

**AN: Haha the title might give this chapter away, but oh well! This chapter won't be gory, like Nessie's birth/ Bella's transformation in Breaking Dawn. I'm gunna speed up the process a bit, so this won't be a transition chapter. The chapter will start out slow, but will move onto funny parts. **

**I know I said that Amira's name will start to make sense, but that will come in one of the future chapters!!**

**So, yes, there will be more chapters to come! I'll keep writing until you guys tell me to go away! (Please don't let that be soon; I'm having too much fun writing this!) Ok, I know I'm babbling, so I'm just gunna shut up now. Read and Review!**

**I don't own Twilight. **

**Emmett POV**

"Esme, what are you talking about?" I asked. She had just told us she thought Amira was pregnant. We knew this was possible because of Edward and Bella, but we forgot to think about it.

"Well, look at her." Esme told us, glancing at Amira.

We all looked at her and saw what she meant. Amira's stomach was bigger, and getting larger by the minute. For all I knew about dogs, we might have puppies soon!

"Let's call Carlisle." Bella said, walking into the kitchen. We could hear her talking to Carlisle, then hanging up. She came back in the door.

"Ok, he's on his way home. Dr. Snow is going to take over for him. He asked to prepare his office." She told us, slipping into Edward's arms.

"Ok, we'll go do that." Rosalie said, pulling me upstairs. We started pulling out the tables, and his bag of tools. We both became sad when we remembered what Bella and Nessie went through, and what Amira and her puppies would have to go through.

We finished preparing the room and headed back downstairs. Carlisle had just gotten home. Esme was filling him in, and he was examining Amira. He agreed with her, and brought her up to his office. I walked up to ask him a few questions.

"Carlisle, what's going to happen?" I asked him, worry creeping into my voice.

"Probably the same thing with Nessie. Don't worry, since she is so small, the puppies might come tonight." He said, then smiled up at me.

"Go back downstairs Emmett. I'll call you when it's over. Send up Edward; I'll need his help."

I didn't want to leave Amira, but I knew the blood would be too much for me. I went back downstairs and sat next to Rosalie. She patted my hand.

"It's going to be fine." She told me. I knew that, but I was still worried. Alice knew that if I concentrated on the sounds from upstairs, I would panic, so she and Rosalie started talking names.

"Ok so boy names!" Alice declared, starting the conversation. "We'll start off with me, then Jazz, Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, Esme, Nessie, and Jacob; each saying a name. I say Polo." Of course she would pick something related to fashion.

"Julius." What?!

"Bob." My family gave me weird looks, but continued.

"Boris." No, absolutely not.

"Solomon." Where did my family get these names?

"Arwin." Esme suggested that? Wow.

"Cookies!" Ok then.

"Mr. Otis Juandisimo Billy Stewart Francis Sniffles the II."

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I screamed, my family laughing hysterically.

"Ok, well don't tell him I told you this; but Seth bought a stuffed rabbit the other day and named him that. But his is the first, so it would have to be the second."

"Ok then. I say Gabbana." Alice restarted the circle.

"Weinerschnitzel." No comment.

"Zeke."

"Bentley. It's the name of a car, but it would fit a dog too." Rosalie said. Of course she would pick a car. That was actually really good though. It was unique, but perfect!

"I love it!" I told them. My entire family agreed with me.

"So, if it's a boy, it will be Bentley. Now, onto girls." Esme told us. "Bella, you can go first."

"Nadja." What… the…?!

"Le-le." Wow.

"Miss. Super Waffle Cupcake Pancake Diva Syrup Que." Wow, was Jake high or something?

"What? I'm hungry." He said, his stomach growling.

"Jacob, you know you can help yourself to whatever you like in the kitchen." Esme reminded him.

"Oh, right. Thanks Esme." He said getting up and practically running into the kitchen.

"I've got it!" Alice said, standing up on the couch, jumping up and down. Jasper put his arm around her waist and pulled her back down. Wow, was she so short that he could just reach up to pull her down? Shrimp.

"COCO!" Alice exclaimed. Wow, that is awesome! I wonder where she got that from; it doesn't even relate to fashion!

"Wow, Alice, I love it! Where did that come from? It doesn't even relate to fashion!" I exclaimed, a smile spreading across my face.

All of the girls rolled their eyes. What did that mean?

"Coco Chanel." Alice told me triumphantly . Ahh…

"Ok, so we have Coco and Bentley, depending on if it's a boy or girl."

"Actually, it's both." Carlisle said, coming up behind me. He had a small white, black and tan Yorkie in his hands. Edward was behind him carrying a pure white one. They were so adorable! Amira came running down the stairs behind them. She looked even more perfect! Tuffy ran directly toward her. They were both vampire puppies now! Now we would have_ four_ dogs that would be with us forever!

Edward gave me Coco. She had even softer fur than her mom and dad! Esme was holding Bentley. Everyone seemed so much happier to have two more puppies! And they thought I was crazy when I first bought Tuffy!

We spent hours more ogling over the new additions. They were just too cute to put down!

Bella and Edward had disappeared; no one wants to know where. Jake had gone home to get some sleep. Nessie was discussing fashion for the new puppies with Alice. Esme and Carlisle sat on the couch, watching Rosalie and I play with Coco and Bentley.

_Ding, Don_g! The doorbell rang. Who would be here at this time of night?

Carlisle opened the door. A man in a puffy, maroon outfit was standing at the door. He had a long black beard, and handlebar mustache. He had cropped, puffy pants, a matching shirt, and gold tights. He had a feathered hat, in matching colors. He was holding a small scroll in one hand. He was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen.

"Um, hello. Can we help you?" Carlisle asked, calm as ever.

"Yes, I have a decree from the King of Kalamawazza. He would like to inform you that you currently reside with the heir to the throne."

**Hehe, thanks for reading and please review. Oh! And I need ideas for powers!! What powers should Amira, Coco, and Bentley have?!**


	12. BONUS CHAPTER!

****Bonus Chapter!! Alice's Makeover****

**AN: Hey guys! Ok, so I realized I forgot to mention what Alice did to Edward during his makeover. So this is going to be a bonus chapter of the makeover! I'll get back to the main story next chapter!! Love you guys!**

**I don't own Twilight. **

**Alice POV**

Emmett had just broken the window, but luckily Amira blamed Edward. No one wanted Tuffy to get sent to the Volturi. He was our little vampire doggy! But his new girlfriend was very smart, so she blamed Edward. For some reason, Esme believed her. Even I don't know why.

So now I got to give Edward a makeover! Yay! But I had a dilemma. Edward actually didn't have that bad of style. Emmett was the real disaster. So since I was bored, I had an idea.

I was going to turn Edward into a clown.

I blocked my thoughts while I collected my makeover bags. Yes bag_s_. I couldn't have just one bag, I mean, that would be a crime against fashionistas everywhere. I had strapped Edward to a chair so he couldn't get away. He was squirming when I got back in the room.

I immediately got to work. First, I made his skin even whiter. It didn't need a lot of makeup; he was pale enough. Then, I painted smiley faces on his eyelids, and put purple mascara and eyeliner on. I put a big, heavy dose of lipstick on, stretching it beyond his real lips. I outlined that in black. I painted his eyebrows blue, and drew a yellow star on the bridge of his nose. I colored the tip of his nose bright red. I went into my closet and got my secret weapon.

Blocking my thoughts, I found the bright red, curly wig. Jasper had bought it years ago; he had dressed up as Ronald McDonald for Halloween. I slipped the wig on my head, covering his hair.

I took one final look at him, and guaranteed him perfect. Well, as perfect as a clown can be. Before I let him see, I wanted to show our family. I made sure Edward was still strapped in, then went to the top of the staircase.

"Ladies, and gentlemen!!! I have finished my makeover! Now, I would like to present to you… Mr. Edward Cullen!"

I ran back into my room and unstrapped Edward. I picked him up, and carried him backwards down the stairs, making sure no one could see what he looked like. I had been practicing walking downstairs backwards; not that I really needed it, but I didn't look as graceful when I first started.

I placed Edward on the ground, facing the stairs. I moved out of the way, and turned Edward around.

The entire family burst out into hysterics. For five straight minutes, everyone laughed. Edward hadn't seen what himself yet, so I ran in the other room and grabbed the mirror. I brought it back out, and gave it to him. He looked at himself in the mirror.

"ALICE!" He screamed. He started to chase after me; so I ran. Jasper was chasing after Edward; trying to stop him. Didn't Edward realize he could just wash the makeup off?

Oh wait, I used non-washable makeup; the kind that wore off by itself. Oh well…

**I know it's really short but it's just a random little chapter! I'm writing the next chapter now, but I still need suggestions for powers! Thanks for reading and please review!**


	13. Heir

**Chapter 13**

**Heir**

**AN: Thank you guys so much for the reviews and suggestions! Ok, so there were a lot of common suggestions! So, I'm going to be using some of those!! Oh, and even I don't know where Kalamawazza came from! Clearly, it is not a real country! **

**OMJ, did you guys here the New Moon Movie story on the news?! Some lady found a NM script in the trash!! She decided instead of making money off of it, she returned it to the studio. A bunch of fans are upset because they wanted to read it, but I agree with the lady. I think she did the right thing, and I want to be surprised. Anyways… Read and Review!!**

**I don't own Twilight. But I did have a dream about James last night! He was hunting my friends and me, and then he died. (I know you all want me to shut up now. So, bye!)**

**Rosalie POV**

King of Kalamawazza sent us a decree? Where the hell is Kalamawazza?! But the funny looking man said one of us was an heir; I hope it was me! I mean I look just like a princess should. Even better actually.

"Please come in." Carlisle said, gesturing for the weirdo to come in. He walked in and shrank back in fear. "If you wouldn't mind, we would like to wait for the rest of our family. They are on their way here. My wife, Esme, called them.

Wow, Esme _interrupted_ Edward and Bella. Brave. And they actually listened to her?

Edward and Bella appeared through the back door two minutes later. They took in the bizarre human and tried to hold back laughter.

"What announcement do you bring us?" Esme asked, inching closer to Carlisle.

"I have been told that you reside with the heir to the throne of Kalamawazza. Her name is…" He started to unroll the script while all of us girls- well, except Bella- wished we were the heir.

"Her name is Amira." He told us. Amira?! How could Amira be the heir?! She was a puppy for crying out loud!

Well, I guess that explains her name though.

"I'm sorry. You mean to tell us Amira is the heir?" Carlisle asked, for once not calm. None of us could believe she was the heir.

"Yes. Is there a reason she would be unable to assume her duties?" He asked confused.

"Well, she is a dog." Emmett said. The weird man went into shock for a moment, then recollected himself. He looked around at us, then paused on Edward.

"Why does he look like a clown?" The man asked Carlisle. He looked scared, I mean Edward was a pretty scary clown. Alice got up and ran, and Edward chased after her. Jasper ran after them, trying to protect Alice, of course.

"Two of our children were having a little fun." Esme told him sweetly. "I'm sorry, what is your name?"

"My name is Amsden. Is Amira really a dog?"

"Yes, she is," I said. I went and picked up Amira from behind the couch. "here she is." I held her up, then sat back down with Emmett, who was holding Tuffy.

"Well, if that is the case. A replacement must be issued. Amira will represent no matter what, but a stand- in will help Amira. Your family must select a person by the end of the week. Your family is required to be in attendance at the inaugural dinner, which will take place at Forks Town Hall. The dinner is on Sunday, and the King or I will return here to accept your choice. That is all." He rose and bowed before us. He turned, leaving the scroll on the table. He exited and hopped onto his horse. He galloped down the driveway, and out of hearing.

"Well, that was interesting." Emmett said, getting up for the kitchen Tuffy had just turned into a cup of blood on Emmett's lap. I noticed Amira was nowhere to be seen. Where could she have gone? I was just holding her.

I looked over at Edward- who had returned with Alice and Jasper- and saw Amira on top of his head. How could she have gotten there?!

"Why is there a dog on my head?" Edward asked, as Nessie took Amira off. Suddenly, Nessie's arms were empty. What was going on?!

"She has invisibility!" Nessie gasped, understanding first. I think Nessie was right, it made perfect sense!

"Do Coco or Bentley have powers?!" I looked around, but I couldn't find them.

I looked towards the top of the stairs and saw Bentley standing there. He looked at me, then jumped over the balcony.

He could fly! Bentley could fly! That was the most awesome power _ever_! My entire family gasped as they saw Bentley in mid-flight. He landed softly onto the white carpet, then went and sat on Bella's lap.

"Man, I wish Jacob was here to see this!" Nessie said watching Amira go from invisible, to there, then back again. I think Amira had just figured out what she could do, so she was playing around a bit. As soon as she said that, Coco shot off into the forest. She was already long gone before I had a chance to react. I was too late to go after her.

"She ran away…" Emmett whimpered.

"Nope." Alice and Edward said together.

"She's a tracker. When someone says they want someone-only people- she goes and finds the person. Her doggie sense of smell increases to her power. She went to get Jacob for Nessie."Alice told everyone smugly.

Sure enough, five minutes later, Jacob came in carrying Coco.

"Why did Coco come into my house, then drag me out by my hair?" He asked, eyes only for Nessie. He was rubbing the back of his head.

"She's a tracker." I told him, my nose wrinkling from the werewolf smell.

"Oh, well that's normal." He said sarcastically, handing me Coco. He went to sit next to Nessie. She was showing him Amira's power. Esme soon reminded us of some serious business.

"We need to select an heir." Esme reminded us.

"Oh, that's right. How about we just go around in a circle saying our vote? You can vote for anyone you want. Let's go; Esme, Carlisle, Edward, Bella, Rosalie, Emmett, Jazz, Me." Nessie had just fallen asleep with her head in Jacob's lap, and he followed closely behind. So now we had less votes to contemplate.

"Carlisle."

"Esme."

"Bella."

"Edward."

"Me." Of course!

"Rosalie."

"Alice."

"Jazz."

"Yay! I win!" I said.

"No. Since we all picked our mates except for modest Rosalie," Edward said. Gosh, he was so annoying. "you have to pick someone outside of the family. And you can't pick yourself." Everyone looked at me.

"Fine! If you want to do that injustice to the people of Kalamawazza, that's your choice."

"Angela."

"Angela."

"Angela."

"Angela." She was actually a really good choice.

"Angela."

"Angela."

"Angela."

"Angela."

"I think she is an excellent choice." Esme said, smiling. Everyone knew Angela would be wonderful as assistant princess or whatever she would be.

"I'll call her!" Bella said. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Angela's number.

_Hello?_

"Hey Ang. It's Bella. Want to be a princess?"

**Oohhh. I gotta say, I love that line. Anywhooo… thanks for reading and please review!! **


	14. Muahahahah! Or Not!

**Chapter 14**

**Muahahahah!! Or Not?!**

**AN: You guys are amazing!! I got to 112 reviews!!!!!!! Woo hoo!!!! I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Muahahahah means evil laugh!**

**Ok, so want to hear how obsessed with Twilight I am? I was typing a report on Elvis Presley for school. I completely finished the entire three-page report and I go back to look over it. I realized whenever I meant to type Elvis, I typed Edward. So I had to go back and change about 75 Edwards to Elvis. I need help. :-P**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Bella POV**

"_What?!"_ Angela said.

"Ok, so this guy in a puffy outfit came to our door this morning. He was the messenger from Kalamawazza. He told us that it was our family's place to pick an heir to their throne. My family took a vote, and decided me wanted to ask you." I left out the part about Amira being the heir, because there would be _way_ too much to explain there.

"_Umm, seriously Bella? Are you kidding?"_ she asked, getting more and more excited.

"Yeah. I'm dead serious."

"_Um, is there any chance I could meet with you and Edward and talk about this? It's a lot to take in." _Talk in person? I had changed so much, and Edward hadn't changed at all.

"Can you hold on a sec, I need to see if we are doing anything today."

I put the phone down when two white arms wrapped around me. Edward held me to his chest, his hands resting on my stomach. He had obviously heard our entire conversation.

"Do you want to go?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I miss Angela." I really did miss her. She was one of my only human friends I missed. I worried about her and hoped she was safe. I didn't miss some of them-coughcoughJessicacoughcough.

"Let's go then. Don't worry about what she thinks of the way you look. You always look gorgeous anyways." He winked.

I laughed and picked up the phone.

"Hey, Ang. I'm back. Ok, so Edward and I would love to meet with you."

"_Great! Where do you want to meet?" _She sounded so excited by the idea of seeing me again.

"How about Gabby's Restaurant, in Port Angeles? At twelve?"

"_I'd love to! I can't wait to see you! Oh, and if Alice wants to come, I would love to see her again! If not, can you tell her I miss her?"_

Wow Angela wanted to see Alice? Most people shied away from the Cullens; this was big.

"I'll ask her. Bye Ang! See you soon!"

"Bye Bells!" She hung up the phone and I heard Alice jumping up and down and screaming. We walked into the other room and saw Alice glowing.

"I'm so excited to see Angela!!" She shrieked. "Bella let's go! We have to pick out something for you to wear!" She grabbed my arm and towed me back to my cottage.

"You have to look like Bella, but a little bit more glam." She muttered to herself, searching through my closet. I sat on mine and Edward's bed and bounced up and down. Hehe, this bed bounced really high. I hadn't noticed it before; I was too preoccupied at the times I was on this bed before. Of course and soon as I thought about previous times, my mind wandered to future times too.

"That was a real disgusting vision, Bells." Alice sighed. It was bad enough Alice tried to pick out my clothes everyday; now she was seeing Edward and mine's… um… _private_ life?

"I'VE GOT IT!" She suddenly shrieked, shocking me. She was so loud she made me fall off the bed. She jumped up and down holding a long pink garment bag in both hands.

I stood up as Alice was laughing at me.

"Just let me see, Alice." I said frustrated. I tried to grab the bag from her arms, but she was faster. She jumped on the bed and waved the bag in the air. I leaped at her, as she leaped into the closet. I closed and locked the doors so she would have to drop the bag to get out.

She was cornered. Muahahahah!!!!!!!!!!! The look in her eyes told me I had won. But Alice being Alice, she always knew the future could change.

She hopped on top of the clothing racks. She was short enough that she could run along the tops. I saw her plan and waited at the end.

She leaped off sideways and bolted for the doors. She paused, draping the bag over her head like a towel. It smushed her spiky hair, which she spent hours working on this morning.

She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a small gold key. A duplicate. Figures. To be able to replace our old clothes, Alice needed a way to get into the closet. She twisted the key in the door, then chucked the key at me. It hit me in the forehead.

She jumped back on the bed, turning around to face me. I made a snap decision and decided to lunge for it. She jumped just in time. I was left standing on the bed, grasping the air where her waist should be.

She looked up at me from the floor. She was smiling up at me swinging the bag back and forth. I growled at her. She stuck her tongue out, then dodged out the front door.

I chased after her through the forest. She was fast, but I was gaining on her. We reached the house where everyone was watching our chase. We circled around the house three times, then shot into the house. We both were careful to avoid shattering the window, which pleased Esme.

I carefully paced my footsteps to make it sound like I was losing ground. I did this in a snap decision, so she hopefully didn't 'see' what I would be doing.

It worked. She turned around too soon, and I grabbed the bag from her arms. She looked shocked, too shocked to move. Perfect. I raced down the stairs. Alice was chasing after me, and was gaining ground. She was faster than me, so she might win. Crap.

Edward heard Alice's pursuit, so he swung me onto his back. He knew I wouldn't be able to outrun her, but he was the fastest in the family. He shot off into the trees, leaving Alice in the dust. We got to the cottage in record time, and locked the doors. Alice had made a crucial mistake; when she threw the key at me, I had caught it after it bounced off my forehead. I kept it, so now Alice had no way to replace our clothes or pick out my clothes for me. Muahahahah!!

Edward and I stood kissing in our room for several minutes, overjoyed by our victory. We would've gone… 'farther', but we had to get ready to meet Angela.

Alice's pick actually wasn't that bad. I mean they always look fantastic, but sometimes they were too over the top. It was a pair of black skinny jeans and a blue v-neck sweater. It was Edward's favorite color on me. He smiled crookedly as he saw it.

He held my hand as we ran back to the main house. Alice's hair was no longer smushed; she had redone it. We said goodbye to our family- vampires, werewolf, half-human/half-vampire, and puppies- then sped off in Alice's Porsche.

We got to Gabby's Restaurant as Angela was pulling up. Her mouth dropped open as she took me in for the first time. She quickly recollected herself; she smiled and waved. She ran over to us, and hugged us each.

"It's so good to see you Bella, Edward, and Alice! I've missed you! But Bells, you look kinda different?" A puzzled look crossed her face as her eyes roamed me up and down.

"Let's talk inside." I sighed.

**:-) THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	15. Gabby's Restaurant

**Chapter 15**

**Gabby's Restaurant**

**AN: You guys are fantastically awesome!! You make me so happy when I read my emails!!! Sorry about the delay on this chapter; I've been a bit under the weather, but I'll keep writing!! Please don't feel hesitant to give criticism or suggestions! I actually don't have much to say right now- a first for me, I know- so let's get onto the story!!**

**Edward POV (italicized are thoughts)**

"Let's talk inside." Bella sighed. She was as worried about Angela's reaction as I was. Alice had seen everything would be fine, but I still worried.

We walked into the restaurant. Bella was chatting excitedly to Angela, talking about what Angela has been doing for the past couple months.

_Helloooo sexy! _A loud female 'voice' interrupted me. She was staring at me- only me- filing through ways in her mind to give me her number. _I could slip my card inside his menu. I mean I'm the perfect woman, who wouldn't want me?! _This was getting annoying.

"Good afternoon. Welcome to Gabby's Restaurant." She said her voice alluring. "How many will there be?" She fluttered her eyelashes as Alice quietly laughed. Bella's eyes flashed to Alice's face, then to the hostess's. She giggled quietly. Bella moved to my side, tucking under my arm. I tightened my arm, kissing her hair. We didn't usually go all out in front of friends, but since Angela had realized the hostess's flirting, she nodded for us to go as far as we wanted. And we did. The hostess immediately became depressed.

She led us to a small private booth, thanks to Alice. Angela and Alice slipped into one side, with Bella and me on the other. The waitress took our order and brought our drinks before we began talking.

"So Angela, our family was wondering if you would accept our invitation to take the throne. We know it is a big responsibility, but we believe you can handle it. You are the most trustworthy person we know." Bella said.

"Do you guys really want me to be the heir?" Angela asked in disbelief, eyes roaming from me, to Bella, to Alice.

"Absolutely! We think that you would keep the people at the forefront of your mind, and their safety. You would be the most perfect example!" Alice said excitedly. I read her thoughts, and saw that she had a vision that Angela would say yes, so there wouldn't be much talk of details. Bella could tell from Alice's excitement that she must've had an acceptance vision.

"How soon will this be?"

"Well," I started. "We have to have you guaranteed by Friday. The inaugural dinner is on at seven on Sunday. We don't know any further details beyond that, but we could certainly meet with the officials prior to the inauguration."

"Who came and told you this?"

"Some weirdo from this country called Kalamawazza. I think his name was Amsden." Alice said. She gave her a few seconds to absorb the information, then quickly asked her, "So… do you want to take the throne?" She finished, bouncing up and down on the booth.

Angela's smile spread across her face, completely elated. She looked at each of us again.

"Yes. I would love to, but…um… I'll need to talk to my mom and dad and Ben and stuff. I mean it is a big choice." She was so excited, but her thoughts shocked me speechless. _I need to find the perfect moment to tell Bella that Ben and I got engaged. I know she'll be happy for me; I am three years older than she was when she got married._

Engaged? Ben and Angela had gotten engaged? I wasn't one to usually taken by surprise, but since I had met my Bella, I was getting used to surprises. I was so happy for them though; they made a perfect couple.

"What country is it again?" Angela asked. She had totally forgotten the name of the country. Well, not everyone can have vampire memory.

"Kalamawazza." I said smirking. We all broke out in huge fits of laughter as Angela's food arrived; we had told her we weren't hungry.

"Well, thank you so much for choosing me. It really is a great honor. And I actually have a bit of news myself."

Alice gasped, her face went blank, and then she broke into a smile of exultation. Bella rolled her eyes at being the only one not knowing.

"Ben and I got engaged!" Angela announced. Bella broke into a face of surprise, then slipped out of the booth to give Angela a hug. Angela showed the ring to Bella and Alice; wow, Ben actually had good taste. And since it was Alice, it was only second before we moved onto wedding plans. Yippee.

"Angela, do you have any plans for the wedding yet? Have you hired a wedding planner? Do you have a theme? Have you chosen a dress? Do you know your main colors? Have you picked types of flowers? Do you know where it will be? Have you made a song list?" Alice rattled off questions without a pause. Bella held up her hand to tell Alice to stop babbling.

"Actually Alice… I was wondering if you would like to plan my wedding."

"YES! ABOSULUTELY!" Alice squealed, throwing her arms around Angela's shoulders. Angela hugged her back, then the girls moved right onto details.

"Have you selected a dress?" Alice asked, scanning her mind with details. _It should have lace, and a long train. Tight at the top, then flare out at the knee. But no mermaid style, that would look too puffy. We want to elongate her height, but don't make her look like a giraffe. She would look best in off-white; pure white would drown out her skin color. An ivory would be gorgeous. Sparkles at the bottom would complement her eyes. Oh! So would blue flowers, maybe white roses too… _Bella saw me getting annoyed and blocked Alice's mind.

"No Alice, I haven't thought about anything. I need your help." Angela's eyes were full of pleading. Alice was, of course, more than eager to help.

"Well Angela, as soon as you are done eating, we will go looking at dresses. I know exactly what style of dress would flatter you best, and colors. We will all go!"

"Not a chance, Alice! I am _not_ going shopping for wedding dresses. You girls can go." I quickly argued.

"Fine," She sighed. "But Bella, you are coming. I don't care what you say, you are coming."

"Alice…" Bella moaned. Alice glared at Bella until she changed her mind. "Fine. I'll go just because it's Angela." Bella grumbled. Angela smiled.

Angela finished eating and the waitress came to take her plate. I paid for the check and we left the restaurant. They decided that Angela would drive her car home, while Alice and Bella dropped me back at the house. Then they would go pick up Angela and go shopping.

We sped home down the long drive. Alice was going faster than usual, so excited by the new shopping trip.

We got to the house and Alice practically shoved me into the house. I kissed Bella one last time, then walked into the house.

I heard Alice squeal, "SHOPPING TIME!!"

**SHOPPING WITH ALICE COMING NEXT CHAPTER!!! THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	16. Shopping With Alice

**Chapter 16**

**Shopping With Alice**

**AN: It's time to go shopping with Alice! You have been warned! Haha, this should be fun…! I'll be putting more puppy in the story, so Tuffy, Amira, Coco, and Bentley will be featured more!! **

**I've hidden some things in this chapter that relate to Twilight. Tell me what you found and what they are. Some are easy, some are hard. Anyone to find them all gets the next chapter dedicated to them! (Hint: there are ten.)**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Alice POV**

I sped down our driveway going to pick up Angela. Angela asked me to plan her and Ben's wedding and I was _so_ excited! Plus, I GOT TO GO SHOPPING!! WOO-HOO! I had dropped Edward at home, and Bella and I were going to go pick up Angela. We needed to look at wedding dresses today. If you didn't look in advance, the altercations may not be made in time.

I stopped in front of Angela's apartment. She came running out, and hopped in the back. We chatted excitedly until we got to my favorite place in the world.

The mall.

Angela and I quickly got out of the car, but I practically had to pull Bella out. She hated shopping, but agreed to come because it was Angela. We went into the glorious building. I breathed in the scent of new fabrics, and Auntie Anne's pretzels. Bella used to love those when she was human. I wanted to look in my favorite boutique, but we would visit there after we went to the fourth floor.

It was called the 'bridal floor'. Three-fourths of the floor was the dress shop. It had almost every design of dress you could imagine. If they didn't have your perfect dress, they could ship it in, or altercate another dress to look how you want it. It had been around for years; I had gotten my own wedding dress here. The other fourth of the floor was accessories and wedding outfit necessities' stores. We would of course visit there after Angela had found the perfect dress. They had a shoe store as well, but I preferred Biviano's of course.

We walked into the store and Ashley immediately walked over to me.

"Alice! How are you? It's been much too long!" We embraced and gave air kisses.

"Ashley, it is so good to see you again! You are looking fantastic!" I complimented, holding her at arm's length. She had lost a little weight; she now had the perfect curves.

"Thank you! And may I say you are looking as beautiful and young as ever! It is mind-boggling that you never seem to age!" I smiled back at her. Even though she had noticed, for some reason she never questioned it.

"How has Jasper been? I haven't seen him since your wedding."

"He is doing fantastic, thank you for asking." I smiled warmly, then introduced Bella and Ang.

"Ashley, this is Bella, my sister-in-law, and Angela, my dear friend. She is who we are shopping for." Ashley embraced them each.

"Angela, it is a pleasure to meet you! Congratulations of your engagement. What is your fiancé's name?"

"Thank you so much. It is wonderful to meet you as well. His name is Ben Cheney." Angela seemed so excited to be shopping for wedding dresses; I was so happy for her.

"And Bella, a pleasure to meet you as well. Are you Mr. Edward's bride?"

"It is very nice to know you as well. Yes, I am married to Edward." I noticed how she smiled whenever someone mentioned Edward. They were so cute.

"Well, he has found one excellent mate." Bella looked like she would be blushing if that were still possible.

Ashley led us over to a private room. Angela and Bella took a seat in one of three chairs, while I stood talking to Ashley. Angela had given me full reign on the dress, but she had to approve it. We were discussing different styles and fits for her dress. Ashley suddenly gasped.

"I…have…the…perfect…dress!" She squealed. She ran out of the room, and was back in exactly one minute.

It was a light cream chiffon dress. It was narrow on top, and then flowed away from the top. It was a sweetheart neckline, in the sheath design. It had a strap of diamonds going along the empire waist that then flowed into a narrow strap across one shoulder. It was a Rosa Clara, and absolutely gorgeous. It was perfect.

"Ashley, it is perfect!" I said, running my hand along the bottom. I turned to Angela. "Ang, you have to try this on. It would look amazing on you!" I shrieked, jumping up and down. Bella rolled her eyes.

"Ok. It is beautiful." Her smile spread across her face; I could tell it was everything she dreamt of.

She tried on the gown. It was the perfect fit. She wouldn't even need alterations on it! As soon as she saw herself in the mirror, her eyes became watery. She was so overjoyed.

"ALICE, I LOVE IT!" She shrieked, giving me a huge hug. She gave Bella one too. "How much is it?" She asked Ashley.

Did she really think that I wouldn't pay for the dress? She had to have been out of her mind!

"Angela," I said, interrupting Ashley. "This is my wedding gift to you! I would never make you pay!" I tsked in response as I gave my credit card to Ashley and she ran out. She was back a minute later. I signed the paper and took my credit card back. Ashley packaged up the dress, and gave it to Bells.

"Ashley, you've done it again!" I congratulated her on our way out.

"Come back whenever you like! Jackson and I would love to double date with you!"

"We would love that! Are you going to be in town for the next few months, or are you heading out on vacation?" Ashley and her husband, Jackson, loved to travel.

"We are heading out at the end of the month for a hiking trip. We are going to… Dakota… I can't remember if it is South or North." She said, her brow bending.

"Well, let's get together before then."

"Of course!"

We hugged one last time, then I went to the first floor of the mall where Bella and Angela were waiting for me. They had put Angela's dress in my car.

"Ready to do some shopping girls?!" I shrieked, jumping up and down. I seemed to be doing that a lot today.

"Of course!" Angela said.

"No." Bella grumbled.

"Too bad." I grabbed her arm and towed her to the first store.

It was my favorite boutique- Elizabeth&Anna. I walked through the large clear doors and was greeted by Sarah.

"Alice!" She shrieked, hugging me. Behind me I heard Angela whisper,

"Does everyone here know Alice?" She whispered to Bella.

"Well, it's a mall, and it's Alice, so I would say yes." Bella answered. I could envision her rolling her eyes.

I picked out hundreds of clothes; size zero-petite for me, two for Bella, and two-tall for Angela.

I picked mostly long, light fabrics for Bella and me. I found a gorgeous dress; it was knee length, light fabric, baby-blue, with ruffles at the bottom. It had an empire waist, and was strapless. It would look perfect with ivory leggings and gold shoes. It had seen a pair at Prada; I would have to order those as soon as I got home. Or maybe I should order them from my phone- Jasper has been trying to control my shopping habit and I don't think he would approve. They were over $800.

We all found numerous perfect outfits. E&A wasn't a formal shop, so we would have to shop for the dinner later. We all collected about five bags each of clothes. I know, that isn't much for me.

After about three hours in E&A, Bella reminded me we were shopping with a human.

"Alice, Angela is about to pass out from hunger." Bella whispered to me so that Ang wouldn't be able to hear. She did look like she was about to faint. Crap. I paid for everything- against Angela's protests- and we left the store. We put the bags in my car; thank goodness Edward had upgraded to a large trunk when he bought my Porsche for me- I need it.

We headed into the cafeteria. It smelled like grease and children. Smelly children. We bought Angela some Chinese food, courtesy of Chon Chinese, and sat down. We discussed ideas for gowns for the inaugural dinner, and accessories. We also covered colors for the wedding, but we had to stop until we figured out if Angela would have to move to Kalamawazza or not. Once she was finished, we moved onto Birmingham&Bellamy.

B&B was the most gorgeous formal dress store in the country. I had gotten Bella's bridesmaid dresses there, all of Rosalie's- for however many weddings she had had- and any formal events we had went to. It was the perfect place to get inaugural dresses.

We looked around for hours, collecting adorable dresses. Taylor helped us carry some, but he had to make a few piles in dressing rooms after his arms got too full.

In the end, we all found dresses. Bella was wearing a knee-length royal blue-Edward's favorite on her- silk dress. It was fitted to her body, and low cut. It had off the shoulder sleeves and a band around the waist.

I was wearing a silver tea length dress. It fitted my top, and then flared out towards the bottom. The skirt had ruffles every five inches.

Angela got one of the most beautiful dresses I had ever seen. It was baby pink, floor length gown. It was an empire waist, flaring out in princess seams. Fitting- I know! It made her look so tall, and the shoes she bought made her look perfect.

That was our last stop in the mall. I could've stayed hours longer, but Angela was exhausted. Bella was making me go home. How dare she try to pull me away from my home! But anyway, she won. I was thinking that we could drop Bella at her apartment, and then go back, but Bella looked like she would release the wrath of Edward if I didn't take her home.

We sped back to Angela's apartment. She fell asleep on Bella's shoulders on the way home, but woke up when I came to a sudden stop in front of her apartment building. We helped her carry her stuff in; it took a while to find room to put everything. She really needed a bigger closet. We agreed that I would come over on Sunday to help her get ready for the dinner. She agreed quickly, and we said goodbye. From outside in the hallway, we could hear her fall back on the couch.

We sped home down our long driveway. I could hear Jasper on the phone with our credit card company.

"No, no. Don't worry… My wife went shopping today. She is helping a friend with her wedding…yes, I'm just assuming they purchased a dress…no, our card was not stolen…yes, I'll make sure I have a talk with her…thank you so much for your help…have a nice day." Jasper hung up the phone shaking his head back and forth. Maybe it would be better to bring in the bags later.

Bella rushed inside into the arms of Edward.

"…please don't make me go shopping with her again. It was awful." She whined. Gosh, what girl doesn't love shopping?

"Alice, could I please have a word with you?" Jasper said, looking me in the eye.

Uh oh. I was in trouble.

Thanks for reading and please review!!!! Review with answers or PM me!!!


	17. Why do you hate me!

**Chapter 17**

**Why do you hate me?!**

**Sup guys?! Ok so this chapter is dedicated to VampireChic666 because they got the ten answers correct!! Woo hoo!! I'll reveal the answers in two more chapters, so chapter 19!!! You will have until then to guess!!! (Another hint: They all relate to the movie) Any who… read & review!!! OMJ that rhymed!!!!**

**I don't own Twilight or anything else mentioned.**

**Jasper POV**

I brought Alice up to our room. She knew she was in trouble for her latest shopping spree. I hated having to do this, but this time she went overboard.

"Alice, sit down." I told her. She sat down on the bed.

"Jazz, I really didn't mean to spend that much! You know how I get…"

"Alice, stop," I interrupted her. I sat down on the edge of the bed, wrapping my arms around her. "I'm not mad at you, but we can't keep having you go on these shopping sprees. I don't mind that you like –no, love- shopping, but you have been going even more crazy lately. It needs to stop. We have a lot of money, but if this continues, we may not."

"I know Jazzy, I know. I really have been trying, but I have nothing to do during the day. I get bored, so I go shopping." She shrugged her tiny shoulders and squeezed closer to me.

"Al, the rest of the family and I came up with a solution we think will work. But we need you to promise you will try first."

"I will. I promise." She looked up at me through her long black eyelashes.

"We are going to have you get a job." Her pleading face turned to a mixture of fury and disbelief.

"What?" She whispered quietly, hopping off the bed. She turned to glare at me with scorching gold eyes.

"We are also going to take away all your cash, credit cards, and store cards so you can learn the real value of money."

She was furious by this point. I think if it was possible, she would have steam coming out of her ears. Crap.

"NO! THAT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION!" She shouted. She ran to the table in front of our room and grabbed her purse. She whipped the door open, planning to make a run for it.

My family was already in place. Edward grabbed the purse out of her hands, and Emmett grabbed her behind the back. He set her down on the bed next to me; I grabbed hold of her before he let go. I held her tightly against my side, too tight for her to escape.

"Alice, we didn't want to do this, but it is necessary. We have gotten you a job that you will start tomorrow morning." Carlisle said calmly.

"Where?" She growled and hissed at the same time. She was _scary._ Eeep!

"McDonald's." Emmett said amused, Carlisle and I watching Al's reaction. A new thought passed through my mind. McDonald's colors were apple red and school bus yellow. Oh crap.

"Everybody out! Now!" She commanded. She was furious, but I think mostly with me.

"Jasper, I am not…" I kissed her quickly, trying to calm down. I pushed her back onto the bed, and hovered over her. I lingered there for several minutes until I felt her mood change to not as much anger. She still had some, but it was more under control.

"Why Jasper?" She pleaded. "Why do you hate me?!"

"I could never hate baby, you know that. We just want you to learn how to control money better." I told her, afraid she was going to lash out again. Being only several inches from her didn't help my safety.

"Okay, fine! I'll try but I won't tell you I'll like it!" She growled at me.

"As long as you will try, that is all I can ask. I love you." I told her. That calmed her down right away; it always did. On the plus side, I loved saying it because I really meant it. We made out for several more minutes on our bed, Alice hovering on my chest.

"EWW, GET A ROOM!! OR AT LEAST CLOSE YOUR DOOR!!" Edward yelled, scaring us both. Alice became so scared she fell off the bed, landing on her back. We hadn't realized our door had been open. Oops.

Edward had left a black garment bag on the floor. He must've been coming into our room to drop it off. I went over a picked up the bag as Alice was smoothing her clothes from her fall. I pulled down the zipper just far enough to see what it was. Her uniform.

"What is it, Jazz?"Alice asked, inching closer to the garment bag. If it involved clothes, Alice wanted to know what it was. We were _definitely_ doing the right thing.

"Your uniform." I told her, handing her the bag. She unzipped the bag, eyes bugging out of their sockets. She started to twitch uncontrollably.

"Alice. Alice, are you okay? Alice can you hear me?!" I asked her. I shook her shoulders, her tiny frame rattling in my hands. She had frozen, glaring at the uniform. The emotions radiating off of her were not pleasant, to say the least.

"Who…picked…McDonald's?" She hissed. Whew, Emmett had came up with it, not me. I was safe in this case.

"Emmett." I told her smirking.

She twisted out of my arms, sprinting down the stairs. I heard her yell, "EMMETT YOU ARE DEAD!" Well someone wasn't happy. I heard her grab onto him and throw him to the floor. Jacob was laughing hysterically. Gosh, did he _ever_ leave?!

I heard Emmett trying to grab Alice by the throat. I rushed downstairs, throwing him out the window. I heard Esme growl as the window shattered into a million little pieces. Carlisle slipped his arm around his waist; restraining her. Wow, no one had ever seen the wrath of Esme, but apparently she had some. Who knew? Although, she hadn't thought over her rules very carefully, well at least I didn't have a separate category for myself. CoughEmmettcough. Alice giving me a makeover? Last time she put lipstick on herself and then we… ok, let's change the subject, shall we?

Emmett came into the room, glass in his hair. He was about to go after Alice, but Rosalie hopped up slamming him against the wall. She wound her hand in his, and he calmed down immediately. She began picking glass pieces out of his hair.

Jacob began snoring on the couch_. Again. _Geez, didn't he have a home anymore?! I mean I know it's hard to leave Nessie, but still.

I looked at the clock; Alice and I had been making out longer than we thought. It was midnight. Bella and Edward had went home to their cottage, taking Nessie with them. She hadn't slept in her own bed since before we got Tuffy.

Alice only had six hours left until work. We had selected the morning shift since she didn't need the sleep. It also might be better for her first job; the lunch shift was filled with little, stinky kids. Most of who weren't dressed in the latest fashions.

We all went to various pastimes. Rosalie and Esme were working on the dog house that just seemed to get bigger and bigger. Alice was flipping through a fashion magazine, perking up whenever she found something cute, then sulking when she remembered she no money. Emmett, Carlisle, and I were watching the Mariners game. I told Alice she had the morning shift; I abruptly had to calm her down.

At about five o'clock, Alice headed upstairs to change. I came with her, afraid she was going to have another outburst.

"Jasper," She moaned from inside our closet. I was sitting on our bed as she was getting changed. "Why? Why do you hate me? I didn't do anything wrong except spend a couple thousand dollars."

"What are you talking about Alice? I don't hate you." What was she talking about? I still loved her more than anything.

She stepped out of the closet then. She was wearing a large red shirt with yellow cuffs and collar. She was wearing her own jeans, but still didn't look her best.

"Alice, it's fine. Everyone there will be wearing the same thing." I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen.

"Jasper, I look awful. I have never seen such a horrendous shirt in my entire life." Ok, it was a horrendous shirt, but Al made it work. "Get Rose. I need her help." She walked back into the closet, taking her makeover kits with her. Oh boy, here we go.

I walked over to the door, swinging it open. Rosalie was standing there; she had obviously heard Alice.

"Took you long enough to open the door." She muttered on her way to our closet. We all had a rule that if the door was closed, KNOCK. Emmett usually didn't obey, but he was getting better every day.

Alice and Rosalie came out of the closet then. Alice's shirt was now fitted to her tiny body. There was only yellow left on the collar ,which now lined the v-neck cut. The sleeves were now in ruffles, going to the center of the top of her arm. She looked amazing.

"Wow."I managed to choke out. I never knew you could do that with scissors and string. I needed to get me some of those.

Rosalie left the room, closing the door behind her. We stayed together for another ten minutes, but she had to leave for work. She went downstairs.

"Alice, what did you do to your shirt?" Esme asked shaking her head. She had seen the shirt before its transformation.

"I improved it, of course!" She twisted around showing off all angles of her new look. She was actually getting into this work thing.

"Jasper, I thought you were supposed to take her makeover kits away?"

"She was pissed enough as it was. If I took away her makeup she might've bitten my head off." And that probably wasn't a figure of speech.

"Alice, you need to get to work." Carlisle told her. He said it softly trying not to upset her. Alice sighed, and walked out to the garage. I followed her out. She got in Edward's Volvo and backed out into the front of the house where I was waiting.

"Don't worry, Alice. It will be fine." I bent down to kiss her before she went.

"I love you."

"I love you too babe. Good luck." I said. She swung the car around and headed out the long drive for the first day of McDonald's.

**THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!!! DON'T FORGET TO SUBMIT YOUR ANSWERS TO CHAPTER 16!!!! MORE TO COME!!! 33**


	18. Alice vs the Big Macs

**Chapter 18**

**Alice vs. the Big Macs**

**AN: SUP PEEPS?!?! Woo chapter 18!!! Yay!! Sooooo sorry about the delay; I got my computer taken away! And it wasn't even my fault!! (Let's just say it wasn't a pleasant night in my house!) Anyway… Don't worry, Tuffy, Amira, Coco, and Bentley will be the featured characters in the next couple of chapters!! Preview: next chapter is the reveal of their house! Remember, you can still submit answers for chapter 16!!! I'll reveal the answers in the AN in the next chapter!! Read and Review pretty please!**

**I don't own Twilight or Twitter in case you haven't figured that out by now. **

**Alice POV**

I cannot believe Jasper was making me do this. I love him more than anything, but this is over the line. I spent a few thousand dollars; is that really so bad? I mean he knows how I get when I'm in a mall.

Well now I was on my way to McStupid. It was just going to be joyful. Since I had the morning shift, that means I get all the half-asleep, crabby people on their way to work. Yippee.

I pulled up in Edward's Volvo to the employee parking. I wanted to take my Porsche, but it wouldn't make sense for someone who could afford a Porsche to work at McDonald's. Plus, my Porsche was still filled with shopping bags.

I walked into the store and was overcome by the scent. It smelled absolutely disgusting. I wanted to run away as fast as I could, but a chubby man was staring at me from behind the counter. I walked up to him and asked for the manager.

"I am he. How can I help you?" He asked in an annoyed tone. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm Alice Cullen." I told him, fake sweetness saturating my voice.

"Oh. Hi. Well, I'm going to put you right to work." Woo–hoo. "Do you know how to work a cash register?" He asked pointing to the one in front of him. How the hell was I supposed to know how to work one of those?! I was forced to do this by my 'loving' husband.

"No." I said annoyed, but he didn't notice.

"Ok then. Adam will show you."

A young man with blonde straight hair stepped around the corner. He had blue eyes, and was very tan. He obviously went to a tanning booth; he had almost orange skin and streaks on his face. He eyed my new and improved shirt with raised eyebrows.

"Teach her." The manager said walking into his office.

"I'm Adam." He said holding out a hand. I could see he was about to flirt it up, so I made my hand as hard and stone as possible.

"Alice." He flinched away from my hand, pulling his hand immediately back.

"Umm…what did you do to your shirt?" He asked, pausing on the end of the v-neck. Wow, subtle dude.

"I made it as stylish as possible with these horrendous colors." I grimaced as I remembered what it had originally looked like.

"Well, it's against work policy to change the uniform without permission."

"Too bad. I couldn't care less. So are you going to teach me? The sooner I start working the sooner I get out of here." I was just a wee bit annoyed.

"Uh, sure." He said, flinching back from the venom in my voice. He showed me how to use all the bottoms, and how to total orders, and submit orders. Every once in a while, he would edge closer to me, so I stepped back every time he did. He was about to put his hand on my back when he was showing my around, so I stepped back a foot behind him. I practiced with one customer, who just ordered a coffee. At least she was wearing a somewhat fashionable outfit.

Adam and I were at the registers waiting for customers. He was making small talk, trying to gain his confidence to ask me out.

"So, um do you want to go out?" He asked nervously.

"No thanks. Plus, my husband would be mad." I said smugly watching the disbelief sink in on his face.

The manager came out then.

"Hmm, slow day. Ok, whoever makes more money gets tomorrow off."

Tomorrow off?! I had to win! Gucci was having a sale on all handbags tomorrow! It was a one day sale, and it would be a disgrace to miss it. Plus, I had one credit card Jazz hadn't taken. It was a personal secret credit card; the only number the company knew was my cell phone. So Jasper would never find out if I went on a shopping spree. Plus, the sale started at six, so work could be my disguise. Hehe.

Two men walked into the door. They were _big_, muscular, and they looked hungry. Their eyes shifted from Adam to me, so I decided to take action.

When they glanced towards me again, I began. I fluttered my eyelashes and smoothed my shirt. I licked my lips and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. I smiled my sweetest flirty smile. The two boys immediately walked over to me. While they were looking at the menu, I stuck my tongue out at Adam.

"What can I get you, gentleman?" I said in my sweetest sugar sweet voice.

"Um, we'll have an egg mcmuffin, sausage mcmuffin with egg, English muffin, bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit, sausage biscuit with egg, southern style chicken biscuit, bacon mcgriddle, deluze breakfast, mcskillet burrito, pancakes and sausage combo, scrambled eggs, hash browns, and two fruit and yogurt parfais."

What the #*$ ?! How could two people eat so much?!

I rang in the order. "Anything else?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, we'll have four large iced coffees." The other guy said. Wow, that is disgusting. I added up the total. Holy cow!! That was over forty dollars!! They paid me the money just as the manager was coming out. He came over to me as soon as they got their food.

"Well done Alice. That is quite impressive." He patted me on the back, then glared at Adam. "Try to be more like Alice, Adam. You are slacking. Any more of this behavior and you are fired." The manager said his voice full of authority. Adam's mouth dropped open. The manager- I still had no idea what is name was- went back into his office.

A lady walked in wearing one of the ugliest outfits I had ever seen. It was a large pea green sweatshirt. It didn't fit her in the least bit; it was even falling off her shoulders. She was wearing baggy purple sweats. It took away all traces of a butt. She looked _awful_. I had to do what was right.

"Excuse me, ma'am." I said, waving my head over my hand. She looked at me and walked over to the register.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, but your outfit is awful. It doesn't fit you anywhere, and it the colors are horrendous. You are basically telling the entire world you are lonely and live with your ten cats. You need to change _now_. I get off in twenty minutes, so if you can wai…" I was being yanked from behind by the manager. He was furious with me.

"How dare you disrespect a customer!" He screamed at me.

"Did you see her outfit?! It was awful!"

"That was my wife!" He shouted. Crap.

"That still doesn't change her outfit!" It was true.

"That's it! You're fired!" YAY!!

"What?! Come on!" I shouted back with fake anger. Jasper was going to kill me though.

"I'm calling your husband! Wait here until I come back!" He screamed, stomping out of the room.

As soon as he was out of the room, I took out my cell phone. I had 43 new Tweets from my favorite fashion stores. Gucci moved their sale to open up midnight!!! AHHHH!!! I had to make that sale!! There was no. other. option.

The door swung open. The manager seemed angrier than before; I had no idea why. "Let's go, Mrs. Cullen. Now."

I walked out of the room. "Never come back begging for your job." He warned me, waving his big, fat finger in my face. Eww, it smelled. Really bad. Like rotten pickles. And mustard.

I turned around to see Jasper shaking his head at me.

**REVIEW AND SUBMIT ANSWERS FOR CHAPTER 16 PLEASE!!!!!**


	19. Doghouse

**Chapter 19  
****Doghouse**

**AN: Heyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for the huge delay guys!! I've been crazy busy lately. It's getting close to the end of the school year so I've got tons going on. Thanks for all who submitted answers to the contest!! The answers were names of the actors in the movie!! Store names, salespeople, and state:**

**Ashley- Ashley Greene/Alice Cullen  
****Jackson- Jackson Rathbone/ Jasper Hale  
****Dakota- Dakota Fanning/ Jane  
****Elizabeth- Elizabeth Reaser/ Esme Cullen  
****Anna- Anna Kendrick/ Jessica Stanley  
****Sarah- Sarah Clarke/ Renee  
****Chon- Justin Chon/ Eric Yorkie  
****Birmingham- Gil Birmingham/ Billy Black  
****Bellamy- Ned Bellamy/ Waylon Forge  
****Taylor- Taylor Lautner/ Jacob Black**

**I don't own Twilight or Wii.**

**I describe the dog house in this chapter, so you are probably all wondering why I picked Jasper POV. I picked him because I start from Alice's firing and it flowed easier to keep it in his POV. I know the descriptions may not seem to fit Jasper's mind, but Alice has probably given him countless advice of style. Anyway... enjoy!  
****Jasper POV**

"Alice," I began once we were in the car. She had somehow managed to get fired before her shift- on her first day- was over. "How did you managed to get fired so quickly?"

"Ok, so this lady came in wearing the worst outfit," Of course. I should've known it would have something to do with fashion. "I was going to help her, but the boss thought I was rude, and apparently it was his wife, but Jazz you would've understood if you saw—"

"Alice, stop," I interrupted. "I'm just proud of you that you tried. That is all I can ask." I smiled at her and her emotions immediately calmed down.

"Thanks, Jazzy. I really did try."

"I know you did. Anyway…The dog's house is ready." I told her. She had probably already seen this, but I figured I should tell her.

"I know! I cannot wait to see it in person! I say a glimpse of it, but I couldn't see exact details because Nessie was there! It looks so beautiful from what I saw!"

We pulled up to the house. We heard Esme and Rosalie talking that they would show the house to everyone once Alice got home in three hours. Surprise! Alice heard this too and silently laughed. She hopped out of the car and ran into the house.

"Hey guys!" She shocked everyone. Some were scared, some were shocked, and some were just amused.

"Alice, what are you doing home?" Carlisle asked.

"I got fired." She said, running up to our room. Thirty seconds later she came back with a loose, gray, ruffled dress with black leggings. She put on a white sweater to cover her shoulders.

"How'd you get fired?!" Emmett asked amused. He thought it was hilarious that Alice got fired on her first day. Yeah, hilarious.

"She freaked out on the manager's wife about her outfit." I told Emmett. My entire family burst out laughing.

"Can we see the house now?!" Nessie asked through laughs. She was the most excited; she and the dogs had become best friends. She seemed to really love dogs. I mean she loved Tuffy, Amira, Coco, Bentley, and for some reason Jacob.

Rosalie and Esme had gotten the puppies. Tuffy wanted to play catch so he kept switching to different bouncy balls, settling on a blue one with a yellow star. He started bouncing off of Edward's stone skin. He looked annoyed. Amira was bored so she was going invisible every time Rosalie looked down; Rosalie looked like she was losing her mind. Coco was hopping up and down. I had no idea why but she looked really cute doing so, I had to admit. Bentley was flying from Esme's arms to Nessie's. His favorite one of us was Nessie; she spoiled him like crazy. She had actually spoiled all of them, but Coco and Bentley were the most because they had been born the same way she was. They were also the most hyper; they were always running around and hopping all over the place. Esme had bought shatter-proof glass for the back window after Coco and Bentley decided to see who could get to the river faster. Bentley ran out the doggy door Emmett had installed, but Coco just decided to jump out the window. She had won.

Tuffy was now bouncing himself off the same window. Emmett was nowhere to be seen; no one knew where he could've gone. We couldn't hear him in the house or the surrounding forest. We were all a little worried; one time he came home with Tanya. Yes, Tanya from the Denali coven. How he got her from Denali to Forks in three hours, we still haven't figured that out. Oh, and another time he came home with Tuffy. No wonder Rosalie usually went with him. But since he had left, Tuffy had no one to play with. Doesn't he get dizzy doing that? I mean it's like round, and round, and round, and round… Oh geez, I'm think I'm losing my mind. Wait, if I _think_ I'm losing my mind, then I can still think so technically, I'm not losing my mind, right? Sorta?

"Just let it go, Jasper." Edward told me, rolling his eyes. Whoops, I forgot he had heard everything I had just thought. Embarrassing.

Out of nowhere, Alice and Edward burst out laughing. Alice had clearly had a vision which Edward proceeded to 'hear'.

"What?" Esme asked confused.

"Oh, you'll see." Alice said giggling to herself, looking out the window. We all turned.

Emmett walked back through the door carrying Jacob. Jacob was still asleep; he seemed undisturbed in Emmett's arms. We realized Emmett had draped a blanket over his arms so Jacob wouldn't wake up because of coldness. Every time he left alone, did he have to come back with a living being?

"Emmett, why are you carrying Jacob?" Carlisle asked. Esme and Carlisle were worried, but my siblings, wife, niece, and I were hysterical.

"Okay well, it's not like he could miss the big reveal. I mean it's inevitable he will be part of our family one day, so he needs to be involved." Emmett went over and placed Jacob in a sitting position next to Nessie. We all had the same idea to wake Jacob up.

"One…two…" Edward whispered. "Three."

We all screamed. Not like quiet screams that would surprise someone, but full on shock and possibly trauma for years to come. Jacob bolted awake with a high pitched yelp. Wow, he sounded more girly than Alice. He looked around wondering how he got here.

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!" He screamed, rubbing his eyes. He opened his eyes to find all of us hysterically laughing. He looked down at Nessie. "Please explain."

"We are going to reveal the dog's house to everyone and we needed you here."

"How'd I get here?" He asked looking around making sure it really was our house. It was.

"Emmett carried you." Rosalie told her rolling her eyes.

"Why did you carry me?" Jacob asked glaring at Emmett.

"Because you were sleeping. Really, do I have to explain everything?" Wow Emmett. Nice answer bro.

"Whatever." Jacob said plopping down on the sofa, slipping his arm around Nessie's waist. She leaned against his shoulder, still petting Bentley.

"Why are you sitting, wolf?" Rosalie asked disgust in her voice.

"I'm tired, since_ somebody_ woke me up." He answered rolling his eyes.

"Ok, Emmett brought you here so we could reveal the doghouse. Let's go." Rosalie commanded, leading everyone out the back door. We ran down a newly formed, paved path in the forest. It was laid with large flat stones, soft to puppy paws. Rosalie and Esme led the way; Tuffy, Amira, Coco, and Bentley right on their heels. The path was short and lined by white fence. Rosalie and Esme clearly wanted to make it easy for the dogs to get back to the main house.

We came to a small cottage in an open clearing; it was about half the size of Edward and Bella's cottage. It had smooth gray bricks lining the walls, a mahogany wood roof. The door matched the roof, but there was a small plastic doggie door at the bottom. There were two windows in the front, and three on each side. There was a large lawn surrounding the house for the puppies to play on. There was a small red pet jungle gym to the right of the house. It had all sorts of twists, turns, and tunnels. There was a slide that went from the top of the playground to the ground, where there was a square sandbox. Rubber balls lined against the sides, different sizes and colors. The entire surrounding was closed off by white fence; matching the path.

"It's beautiful!" Alice said. "You guys did a great job!" She complimented Rosalie and Esme.

"Want to see the inside?" Esme asked, leading us up to the door. Tuffy, Amira, Coco, and Bentley ran through the doggie door just before Rosalie whipped the door open. She led us into the main room.

Red seemed to be the main color theme. There was a big, fluffy sofa in the center of the room. It had two ottomans against it; they were both a soft brown. The pillows were scorching red. There was an entertainment system along one of the walls. It was complete with a TV, DVD player, stereo, and hundreds of movies. Why the heck would dogs need those? There were cabinets lining another wall. They all were light brown wood, with opaque windows. You could see that they were filled with clothes. Alice was about ready to go rip these open to check to see what they bought. I held onto her tighter. The walls and ceiling were a light cream, complimented by red sheer curtains. There were various dog things around the room, filling it. There were different pillows of all shapes and sizes lining anything with a point. Even though they were vampire dogs, Rosalie and Esme still wanted them protected.

"Wow, guys, this is amazing! The styles of everything and the colors flow together perfectly!" Bella said. That surprised me; she wasn't usually one to comment on style. Alice was surprised too.

"Wow, Bella, you said something to do with style that made sense!" Alice mocked her. Bella rolled her eyes.

"Let's show you the puppies' rooms so they can start exploring." Esme said, leading us down a hallway. "The pink door is Coco's room, the blue is Bentley's, and the green is Tuffy and Amira's." We split up so we weren't all crammed into one little room. Alice, Emmett, and I went into Coco's room. Coco hopped through the doggie door just before we opened the main door.

It was a land of pink. The bed was a light pink, with a darker cover. It had sheer pink canopies coming from a point in the ceiling. It had heart shaped pillows all-around. The walls were a light pink matching the sheets. The floor was the same color as the cover. The shelves were white, lined with frilly accessories. The closet was wall- sized tall, but only half a wall wide. She had a pink bean bag chair that was inscribed with Coco Cullen on it. There were pillows and frilly things _everywhere_. Wow, where do you find so much pink stuff?

"It's so pretty! Don't you think, Jazzy?" Alice asked me.

"Yeah, _Jazzy_, isn't it?" Emmett mocked.

"Shut up, Emmett. You aren't allowed to call me that." I growled at him. That was Alice's nickname for me. She was the only one I let call me Jazzy.

"What?! Alice calls you that!" He freaked out.

"Yeah, because she's my wife."

"If I was your wife, would you let me call you that?"

"I don't want you to be my wife!"

"Did you just call me a girl?"

"You called yourself a girl!"

"Why is Alice allowed to call you that?!"

"She's my wife; she can call me whatever she wants!"

"That's the worst she's done?; _Jazzy_? If I was allowed to call someone whatever I wanted it would be _way_ worse."

"You have Rosalie for that!" I reminded him.

"Hmm… I could always call her…"

"Emmett, shut the hell up before you say something you _really _regret!" Rosalie shouted from the other room.

"Emmett, could you please _try_ to control your thoughts, too; I'm getting some awful pictures here." Edward added.

"Fine! Jasper just answer my question!"

"What question?!" He had been through so many questions during this argument that I had no idea what he was talking about.

"So, do you want me like that or not?!" Emmett shouted.

"NO! I DO NOT WANT YOU THE WAY YOU ARE THINKING!" I shouted back at him.

"Well, no need to be gentle about it." Emmett said sarcastically, leaving the room. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Well, that was interesting." Alice giggled. "I never knew Emmett felt that way." Emmett growled from the other room.

"Let's go check out the other rooms." I led Alice to the blue door; Bentley's room.

This room was the exact opposite of the pink fest next door. It was racecar themed. Bentley loved race cars; Emmett even taught him to play video games. He would set the Wii wheel on the ground. Bentley would sit on his hind legs and put his front paws on the wheel. He had even beat Emmett a couple of times.

The walls were a light blue, with a royal blue carpet. The bed was a red convertible with a white stripe on the hood. There were flames along the sides. The shelves and closet were a dark brown; oak, I believe. He also had a beanbag; his was blue and said Bentley Cullen. He had a TV on one wall. In front of that, was the coolest video game I had ever seen. It was a little mini racecar, the exact size for Bentley. It had a padded seat, with a steering wheel. It was on top of a larger black podium. The podium would move according the game and his driving. It was a simulation game that would make Bentley feel like he was actually driving a car.

"That is awesome!" I said pointing at the game. Alice nodded in agreement before pulling me along to Tuffy and Amira's room.

Their room was subtle and charming. The bed was a light green, complimenting the yellow walls. The carpet was a beige that set off the pastel colors. The shelves and closet were a light brown. The closet was twice as big as Coco's and Bentley's. They had two beanbags, in green and yellow. The green said Tuffy Cullen; the yellow said Amira Cullen. There was a silver crown on one of the shelves. There was a rubber corner; Tuffy loved turning into a ball and bouncing around. There were monkey bars on the ceiling for Amira. She had recently taken an interest in climbing things. Her upper paws and legs were _really_ strong. That could have something to do with vampire strength, though.

We absorbed the room for another couple minutes. It was absolutely beautiful; I could tell Alice didn't want to leave. But after a couple minutes we went back out to the main room.

"What do you guys think?" Rosalie said grinning at Esme.

"It is absolutely perfect!" Nessie said, brushing Coco's fur. She was the most excited to see the house; happiness was coming off her like crazy. It was coming off everyone else too- except for Emmett. Weird. He was usually the happiest and energetic, but now he was emanating sorrow.

"What's wrong, Emmett?" I asked him, my brow furrowing. I could feel what he was feeling, but not why.

"Cause you don't want me!" He whined. What the hell?!

"Emmett, get over it!" Edward said.

"Fine!" Emmett replied, hugging Tuffy closer to him. "I don't ask for much; I only wanted you to like me…" He trailed off. Emmett was really smart, caring, and funny, but sometimes he could be a bit weird.

In the faint distance, we heard the sound of a bugle. A bugle? Was this one of Emmett's classic practical jokes? Why would someone feel the necessity of a bugle in Forks? After the bugle had ended, we all burst out laughing.

"Should we go back and see what is going on?" Jacob said yawning.

"That is probably best." Carlisle said standing. We ran back to the house. The dogs stayed behind, still exploring their new home.

We entered the house to find that Amsden from Kalamawazza had returned.

**THANKS FOR READING!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!! In case you forget, Amsden is the messenger from Kalamawazza.**


	20. DingDongDitch

**Chapter 20**

**Ding-Dong-Ditch**

**AN: OMG! CHAPTER 20! OMG! I LOGGED ON TO FIND 30 EMAILS!! HOLY CULLEN! YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY THE BEST!!! SORRY FOR THE CAPS, I'M JUST SO EXCITED!! Haha, enjoy this chapter!! Ok, I know this may be weird turn of events for this chapter, but I had an idea, so instead of making a one-shot, I turned it into the chapter!!**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Rosalie POV (this is Rosalie so 'the mutt' is Jacob)**

Amsden was standing in the doorway. Wow, way to just let yourself in. I mean really, I know he was probably anxious to see my beauty, but he could've rang the doorbell. Or just used his bugle_ before_ walking in.

"We heard you blow." I said matter-of-factly. My entire family doubled over in laughter, even Carlisle and Esme. What were they laughing at? Oh, I realized the double meaning in my words.

"I have an announcement." Amsden said. Well, duh. Why else would he be here? "There seems to be an error."

"What error?" Esme asked.

"There seems to be a misunderstanding in my inauguration message error. I have stated that Kalamawazza will hold the inauguration in Forks Town Hall. I was mistaken. The inauguration will be held in the house of the original heir."

"We get to plan a whole inauguration _and _a party?!" Alice shrieked jumping up and down. Where did she get the party idea? He didn't mention a single thing about a party. But it is Alice, so I guess that explains it.

"That can be arranged." Carlisle assured him calmly.

"Who is your replacement heir?"

"Miss. Angela Webber." Esme said. Amsden nodded.

"Where exactly is Kalamawazza?" Jasper asked. Oh yeah, where the heck is it?

Amsden pulled a map out of his back pocket. He unfolded it and laid it across the glass table. We were all shocked to see a map of the United States. He flipped the map over to show a close up view of Seattle, particularly the Olympic Range.

"This is Forks." He pointed to a dot on the map. He moved his finger up to a dot next to Port Angeles. "This is Kalamawazza."

"Do you mean to tell us Kalamawazza is a town in Seattle?" The mutt said. Gosh, does he ever shut up?!

"Correct. The townspeople call it Wazza, for short."

"Is this a modern town?" Bella asked.

"Yes. Very modern, we have all of the latest technology." He asked, his eyes curious.

"Then why do you wear that goofy outfit?" Em asked.

"I like it." Amsden said. Wow, creep-o.

"Ok, then. Since Wazza is not a country, what position will Angela take over?" I said.

"Mayor." Well that is fitting; Angela has been majoring in politics in college. "The ceremony will be on 8:00pm. Sunday."

"We will be ready." Alice said. She was now sitting on the couch, notepad in hand. She was already planning.

"I will arrive with the resigning mayor at 7:30. That is all." He turned around and walked out the door. He hopped onto his horse and galloped off. He had accidentally left his bugle on the floor next to where he was standing. I saw Emmett eyeing it.

"Don't even think about it, Emmett." His newly formed smile immediately fell.

"We have to get planning right away!" Alice said, tossing her purse over her shoulder and running out to her Porsche before anyone could blink. She walked back into the house three seconds later.

"Jazz, give me my credit cards back." She said holding out her hand. He sighed, and then pulled the cards out of his back pocket. She took the cards, kissed Jasper goodbye, and sped out the long drive.

Carlisle and Esme left to go to work. Esme was helping out on a new office building. They were having trouble figuring out layouts, so they called Esme. That means all the kids- except Alice- were left at home. Alone.

"Well now that all supervision is gone, let's play a game." Emmett said, a mischievous smile spreading across his face.

"BOO!" Alice screamed from right behind me. I shrieked, falling off the armrest of the chair. Where did she come from?!

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "I thought you went shopping."

"It's Memorial Day; all the stores are closed." She rolled her eyes and plopped down on the couch.

"So what are we playing?" Nessie asked.

"How 'bout Ding-dong-Ditch?" Bella said.

"Wow, the good girl has an evil idea." I jokingly mocked her. Edward laughed at the mention of 'good girl' and tightened his arm around Bella's waist. I saw Nessie cringe into the mutt.

"Mom, Dad. Really…eww." Nessie shuddered. We all laughed. I agreed with her; it would be awful to have to watch my parents like that. Especially with vampire sight and hearing.

"Alright people! I like Bella's idea! Let's go!" Em screamed jumping up and running out to the garage. I ran back to the dog's house and got Tuffy, Amira, Coco, and Bentley, then hopped into Alice's Porsche.

Edward, Bella, Nessie, Coco, Bentley, and the mutt went in Edward's Volvo; Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Tuffy, Amira, and I went in Alice's Porsche. We had taken our cell phones to keep in touch. My phone rang and I put it to my ear.

"Hey Bells, who are we hitting first?"

"_Mike Newton."_ Alice suddenly burst out laughing. We all looked at her, but she just shook her head at us.

"Excellent. See you there." It took two minutes to get to Mike's house. It was a teeny, one floor house. There were two cars in the garage; Mike's and… _Jessica Stanley's?!_

"Is that Stanley's car?" Emmett asked. "What the hell is she doing here?" I flipped my phone open and waited for Bella to answer.

"Is that Jessica Stanley's car?" I asked her.

"_Yeah. And Edward is cringing at the moment, so I'm not sure we want to know what is going on."_

"I'll go." Jasper said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"Jasper's going. Get ready." I said into the phone. I snapped it shut and we all turned to look out the window. Jasper ran out of the car, rang the doorbell, and was back in the car next second.

From inside the house, you could hear Mike and Jessica both groan. Lucky for us, they sounded like annoyed groans, and not… the other kind.

Mike swung the door open, hair completely wild. We had pulled the cars up behind a fence; he couldn't see us. He slammed the door, mumbling about distractions. After we had stopped laughing, Jasper went again.

This time Jessica answered the door. Her makeup was smeared all over her face; her hair was a wild mass of brown. She was wearing a large men's shirt and nothing else except for undergarments. She looked awful. She growled, then yelled to no one in particular,

"STOP RINGING THE DOORBELL! WE ARE KINDA BUSY HERE!" We all burst out laughing. Jessica had gone _mad_ the past couple of years. She slammed the door shut, and we heard the shattering of a glass vase.

We drove off of the street. My phone rang again. This time it was Nessie.

"Hey, Ness. Who we hitting next?"

"_Any idea where the guy from Kalamawazza lives?" _Now he would be hilarious.

"He's staying at the Marriot Hotel_, _about two minutes south of the hospital." Alice said from the front seat. She was driving with one hand, holding Jasper's on the armrest.

"Marriot Hotel; two minutes south of hospital."

"Kay, see you there."

We drove to the Marriot. We went up to the front desk where two ladies started eyeing all the guys and the mutt.

"Hello. Can we help you?" They started flirting like crazy; well, _trying _to flirt. We all realized what was happening, so we did what Edward and Bella did at Gabby's Restaurant; we 'showed' them that we were taken. Their smiles immediately fell.

"Yes, we need to find someone's room." Nessie said.

"Who are you looking for?" One of the girls asked in _her_ 'sultry' voice. She sounded like a cat choking on an apple core underwater while drinking scorching hot coffee.

"Amsden. We don't know his last name." Nessie said. Yeah, with a name like Amsden, I can only imagine what his last name would be.

"Ah, Amsden." A blonde girl said, glancing at the brunette to her left. The brunette giggled and blushed. Wow, small world.

"He's staying in room 671, on the top floor." The brunette said without even having to look it up. Wow, _way _too small world.

"Thanks so much." Emmett said, winking at the blonde one. She giggled. I slapped Emmett on the head as hard as I could.

"OWWW!!" Emmett cried, once we were inside the elevator. He started rubbing his head. We had snuck the puppies in; Tuffy for some reason had decided to turn into an IPOD. The elevator had fine music; it was playing one of Mozart's symphonies.

We got up to the top floor. The rooms were widely spaced out; he was staying in the Presidential Suite. There was a corner near his door; that would come in handy.

"I'll go!" Nessie said, letting go of the mutt's hand. She ran to the door--she had full vampire strength and speed, despite only being a half-vampire—rang the doorbell, and was back behind the corner in the next second. There had been a mirror against the opposite wall; Emmett had angled it so we had perfect view of the door.

Amsden came to the door, looked around, and closed the door. He started singing "Barbie Girl." He was so tone-deaf it was awful.

"My turn." I said, whispering my plan to everyone. They quickly agreed and got into position. I rang the doorbell.

Amsden opened the door, stepping out into the hallway, looking both ways. When his back was angled towards us, Emmett made his move. He sneaked inside the room, hopping up on the table. Amsden still had "Barbie Girl" playing at full volume.

"I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN THE BARBIE WORLD! LIFE IN PLASTIC! IT'S FANTASTIC!" Emmett screamed, somewhat singing along with the song. "YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR! UNDRESS ME EVERYWHERE! IMAGINATION! LIFE IS YOUR CREATION!" As Emmett sang, 'undress me everywhere' he stripped off his shirt and twirled it around his head on his finger.

Amsden almost had a heart attack. He screamed like a little girl, and fell back against the wall. He started shaking. We couldn't help it anymore; we busted up laughing. Even the dogs were smiling. He looked at us in fear. He ran back into his room, slamming the door.

"Um, he forgot to let Emmett out." Bella reminded us. Oh crap, she was right.

Amsden suddenly shrieked. The door flew open and Emmett walked out. He was still holding his shirt. We gave him high-fives and stepped back into the elevator.

"Emmett, aren't you going to put your shirt back on?" Jasper said.

"Nope, I have a better idea." He smirked while Alice and Edward just shook their heads.

We walked into the lobby, the girls swooning at Emmett's body. He tossed his shirt at the blonde girl from before; it landed on her hair. As soon as Emmett had thrown his shirt, I pulled him close to me. We shared a very passionate kiss. All of the girls started sulking as they saw him strongly kiss me back. We walked out the cars where are family was.

"Wow, guys. The lust I was getting off you guys was absolutely disgusting." Jasper said.

"Too bad." I said, sticking my tongue out at him. Alice rolled her eyes.

We got back in our cars and drove home. Some had wanted to stay out and hit up more people, but Nessie was almost asleep, the mutt needed to get home to the other mutts, Edward and Bella wanted to go home,- no one needs to ask why- and Alice needed to plan an inauguration and party.

We were surprised to see Esme's car already at home. We walked inside and she didn't look happy.

"Can anybody tell me why Carlisle was just called to check on a patient by the name of Amsden at the Marriot Hotel? He seems to be suffering from over-shock and fright." She said harshly, glaring directly at Emmett. Whoops.

**THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!**


	21. Blondie vs Stupid Mutt

**Chapter 21  
Blondie vs. Stupid Mutt**

**AN: OH MY CULLEN/HALE/WHITLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT TO 200 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG SERIOSULY FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!! THANK YOU GUYS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Haha I just downloaded Barbie Girl onto my IPOD. Man, I love this song.**

**I'm going to be switching POV's quite a bit in this chapter, but it'll make sense. **

**The first is Nessie so remember how she relates to everyone; that means Grandma and Grandpa are Esme and Carlisle. I'm assuming that Emmett and Alice are her godparents since they are closest to Edward and Bella. **

**Don't own Twilight or Wii or Mario Cart**

**Renesmee POV**

"Can anybody tell me why Carlisle was just called to check on a patient by the name of Amsden at the Marriot Hotel? He seems to be suffering from over-shock and fright." Grandma said harshly, glaring directly at Emmett. Wow, I didn't know that you could scare someone by singing Barbie Girl. But it was Emmett, so that might explain some of it.

"Well," Jake started to say, but Rosalie slapped him across the back of the head.

"Rose!" Mom and I yelled at the same time. Grandma was just shaking her head at Emmett.

"Who had a part in this?" She asked. I looked at Mom and Dad; they were looking at me. I walked over to Mom and put my hand on her arm. I asked her if I could 'tell' Grandma the situation. I mean, Mom, Dad, Jake, or me had nothing to do with it. Mom and Dad both nodded; Dad having heard my thoughts.

I walked up to Grandma and put my hand against her cheek. She saw my thoughts, and then shook her head at Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie.

"Thank you, sweetie." She said. I walked back over to Mom, Dad, and Jake. "Well, it seems that everyone except for Jake had a part in this."

"What?!" Dad, Mom, and I said at the same time. I had nothing to do with it and neither did Daddy nor Mommy. Then I remembered I had rang Amsden's doorbell the first time.

"Nessie, it was your idea to choose Amsden. Now he could be hospitalized. You also rang the doorbell. Bella volunteered the game. Edward, you heard what Jessica and Mike were thinking and what they were doing. You could have been the responsible one and told everyone to drive away." Oh no, she didn't. "Jacob was dragged here, literally, but he was still involved."

"Esme, Nessie didn't do anything wrong." Dad said. Mom and he were always trying to protect me. Emmett, who was also my godfather, was taking small steps backwards towards the door. He was trying to make his escape. It was so not going to work.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, don't you move another muscle." Grandma warned. She turned back to Daddy. "Edward, please." Dad knew he wasn't going to win; he grimaced and put his arm around Mom's waist. She leaned against his side. I had to admit my parents were very cute together; sometimes they went overboard, but they usually kept it in control in front of me.

"Now, time for your punishment." Oh boy. "You each have to spend the rest of the day in a room with someone besides your partner."

"Esmeeee" Emmett whined, stomping his feet. Haha, I just realized he still had no shirt on. She silenced him with a look.

"Edward and Alice will go to Alice and Jasper's room."

"MAKEOVER TIME!" Alice yelled. "NO!" Dad cried.

"Bella and Emmett will go to the cottage."

"Oh, dear Lord." Mom said. I hoped the cottage was in one piece when this was all over.

"Jasper and Nessie will go to the basement." That wasn't bad; the basement had computers and games.

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rosalie _**SCREAMED**_.

"And Jacob and Rosalie will go to Rosalie's and Emmett's room."

"PLEASE ESME! IF YOU ACTUALLY LOVE ME YOU WILL NOT PUT ME THROUGH THAT AWFUL TORTURE!" Rosalie hardly shook Grandma's shoulders.

"C'mon Blondie, you don't wanna spend time with me?" Jake asked.

"SHUT UP, YOU FILTHY MUTT!" Wow, I'm surprised the windows haven't shattered yet. Grandma loosened Rose's grip, and pushed her back.

"Everyone to your rooms. I'll come and get you when you can come out. If anybody leaves, everyone will have to endure another punishment."

"How soon will we get out of hell?" Rosalie asked through her grinding teeth.

"I need to talk to Carlisle first. He may be working late, though. Go." Grandma said, running up to her and Grandpa's room. The puppies ran back to their home. Everyone stalked off to their assigned rooms. I met Jazz downstairs.

"Hey, Jazz." I plopped down on the couch in front of the TV. He sat in the recliner to the right.

"Hey, Ness. Wanna play?" He asked, holding up a Wii Mario Cart Wheel.

"Of course!" He tossed me the wheel and I caught it just before it hit me. One of the many reasons I loved my uncle; he wasn't afraid to scare me or throw stuff at me like Mommy and Daddy. They would get up and hand the controller to me. Overprotective, but I loved them.

By the end of six games, we were tied. Three me, three him.

"Play again?" He asked me. I nodded and the races began.

**Edward POV**

I had no idea why Esme would feel the need to punish us like this. I seriously must have the worst; Alice had just strapped me to a chair. I was at her desk, when she suddenly came up behind me and strapped me down. I had no idea what she used, but I was unable to break free.

_Edward, Edward, Edward_. She thought, _what shall we do with you today?_

"Alice, please don't torture me. I'm being punished for no reason at all."

"I didn't do anything either! I mean isn't the fact that the malls were closed torture enough?" Of course it would be like Alice to be thinking about malls.

"What are you going to do to me, Alice?" I had seen and experienced some of her worst ideas.

"I need to borrow your hair." She told me, stepping closer to me.

"What?! Nooooo way! You are not touching my hair." As I said that, I heard Nessie, Jasper, and Esme laugh from the bottom floors.

"I'm not going to cut it off! I need it so I can plan Angela's party. She has the same hair color as you so I need to work out complementary colors." She rolled her eyes.

"Why did you strap me down then?!"

"It's fun!" She said with a smile. "So are you going to help me or do I have to keep you tied up?"

"Fine, but only if you untie me!" I begged. This was getting really uncomfortable. She untied me and let me do whatever I wanted. She gave me her computer to play with. Every once in a while she would come over and hold a swatch of fabric next to my head. And when I say every once in a while, I mean every other minute.

After five hours, I was insanely bored. And I missed Bells.

**Bella POV**

I missed Edward.

Our punishment had just started. I got to the cottage before Emmett, but as soon as he got here, I'm sure the fun would begin.

"BELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed from behind me. I jumped and turned around to face him. He grabbed me into one of his bone-crushing hugs.

"Er…hi." He had just seen me like five seconds ago. He put me down and I looked back at him. He was still shirtless. I started laughing.

"What?" He tilted his head to the side for no reason in particular.

"You have no shirt on." I told him, pointing at his bare chest. He shrugged.

"So what do you want to do, little sis?" He asked me. I had to be careful how I framed my words; Emmett would twist anything I said.

He ran into our little kitchen. Esme had built it for my first vampire birthday. Nessie ate some human foods, so we had a kitchen for her. Her favorite is spaghetti and red sauce. We always had some in the cupboards. We also had candy. Nessie loved candy, especially chocolate. It grossed Edward out, but I was still able to remember the taste of human food, so I didn't mind it so much. I followed Emmett into the kitchen.

"Emmett, what are you doing?" I asked him. He was searching through the cupboards.

"Looking for candy. I want to know if vampires can go on sugar highs." Was he serious?

"Emmett, think about it for a minute," I said slapping my hand over the cupboard he was just about to open. That one was where the candy was. He pulled his hand out, sulked, and then hopped onto the counter. "What happens when a vampire eats food?"

"We throw up." He said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, and why is that?"

"Because we can't digest it." He still hadn't caught onto where I was taking him, but he was making sense to say the least.

"Right, and for sugar to make someone hyper, it needs to be digested." Comprehension flickered across his face.

"Oooooooooooooooooooooh. What are we going to do then?"

"Emmett, you can do whatever you want. Just don't do anything stupid or break anything. Please." I rolled my eyes and walked out of the kitchen.

About five hours later I heard a crash.

"Oops." Emmett said from another room.

**Rosalie POV**

Why? Why is all I ask. I haven't done anything wrong. I hunted when I was supposed to. I went to school every day. I got straight A's. I never got in trouble. Esme just decided that I needed to be punished for no reason what so ever.

She was forcing me to spend time with_ it_.

I ran up to my room like lightening. The mutt was so freaking slow, so I had time. I ran into my room and slammed the door behind me. I locked it and shoved a steel chair under the doorknob. I heard the mutt walking up the stairs, and down the hall. He twisted the doorknob; the door wouldn't budge. He shoved the door, trying to pry the door open. Man, I loved playing with his little brain.

"Esme," He called. Haha, my plan was working perfectly. I ran over to the door and silently removed the chair and unlocked the door.

"What is it, Jacob?" Esme asked.

"I think Rosalie locked the door. It won't open."

"Let me try." Esme said. I heard her put her hand on the doorknob and twist. The door flew open.

"What..but…how?" He stuttered. He actually believed he was losing his mind. Perfect. Esme patted him on the back and left.

"Hey Rosalie!" Mr. Mutt said. I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, listen," I told him. "These are the rules. Don't do anything stupid. Don't talk to me. Don't go into my closet. Don't open any cupboards or bureaus. Don't go on any of the computers or touch any of the video games." Those were Emmett's and he would not take it lightly if they broke. "Don't, under any circumstances, touch my makeup. I know you like using makeup, but mine is mine. Leave me alone." That was my number one rule.

"So what am I allowed to do?" He asked.

"Sit." I said. He started walking over to a chair; I cleared my throat. He looked up at me. I shook my head and pointed to the floor. He rolled his eyes but sat cross-legged on the floor.

I grabbed my laptop and lay stomach-down on Emmett and mine's bed. I started the computer, and saw that Bella had logged onto IM.

(Bold is Rosalie, Italic is Bella/Emmett)

**Hey Bells. **

_Hey Rose. _

**My husband acting normally?**

_Well, he just broke our front window. _Wow, Em. Nicee.

**Oh my God. Seriously?**

_Yup. Wanna talk to him?_

**Yeah, put him on. **

_ROSE!!_

**Emmett, why did you break their window?**

_I didn't mean to! I was walking around their cottage, trying to see if there were any secrets hidden here. I was checking under each window frame. I pulled the frame up and the next thing I knew, it was in pieces._

**Why were you checking under the window frames?**

_I saw this show that said people sometimes hid winning lottery tickets under them. I wanted to find one so you could buy that car you have wanted. _

**Emmett, I like that car, but if I really wanted it, I could have bought it already. I decided not to because I love my M3. **He really was the best husband anyone could ask for.

_I get it. OK. Sorry, babe._

**It's OK. Go fix Bella and Edward's window. I love you.**

_I love you too._

_Bella Swan logged off._

"Oh, boy." I said, shaking my head. I looked up to find the mutt staring at me. I reached behind me and picked up my clock. I threw it at his head with all my might. It smashed against his head and ricochet off his shoulder. The glass front broke into pieces, tangling in his hair and cutting his shoulder. I burst out laughing.

"Ow, Rosalie, that really hurt." He whined, pulling pieces out of his shoulder.

"Don't get any blood on my room!" I yelled. He had to use his shirt to stop all the blood from pouring out. His white shirt was now red on his shoulder and left side.

"Blondie, you are going to pay for this!" Yeah, sure I will.

"It's all your fault that we are stuck here!" I yelled back.

"How is it my fault?!"

"If you had stayed home with the other mutts, you wouldn't have to be here! Nessie has vampire skin, strength, and speed. You don't need to protect her every single second of the day!"

"I imprinted on her! It is my instinct to do just that!"

"Your instincts suck!"

"Blondie, shut up!"

"No, you little mutt, listen to me." I was wearing heels and standing on my bed, so I was towering over him. "I don't care that you imprinted on Nessie. I care that you are acting like a stalker! Her life is complicated enough as it is! She doesn't need a stalker! I love her, but you are going to cause her problems later in her life!"

"I'm not a stalker!" He screamed. "What do you mean by complicated enough?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe these facts: she is half- vampire! She grew up in a house full of vampires! She had a stupid mutt fall in love with her when she was five minutes old! Her grandma and grandfather are in their twenties! Her mother is 18 and her father is 17! She can tell people what she is thinking by touching them! And to top it all off, her boyfriend used to be in love with her mother!"

"Wh…what?" Nessie asked.

I turned to see my whole family staring directly at me.

**Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………… Awkward. Please Review!**


	22. Explaining

**Chapter 22  
****Explaining**

**AN: ALOHA!!!!!!!! THANKS YOU FOR THE AMAZING REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WISH I COULD GIVE EVERY ONE OF YOU A BIG HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
****I'm sooooo sorry about the delay!!! I have finals all this week, and let's just say if I don't get an A on math, I'm screwed. This chapter isn't that funny, it is mostly Edward and Bella explaining everything to Nessie. I promise to make up for it next chapter!!!**

**I don't own Twilight in case you didn't know that by now.**

**Bella POV**

Esme was just letting us come out. Carlisle came home and said Amsden was fine, so she let us out. We were just getting back to the main house when we heard Jake and Rose screaming at each other. They weren't getting along? Wow, surprise there. It sounded like it was headed in a dangerous direction though, so we all bolted up the stairs. I threw the door open, but they didn't notice.

"I'm not a stalker!" Jake screamed, blood pouring down his white shirt. I think we were a little late. "Wait, what do you mean by complicated enough?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe these facts: she is half- vampire!" Oh my gosh, they are talking about Nessie. "She grew up in a house full of vampires! She had a stupid mutt fall in love with her when she was five minutes old! Her grandma and grandfather are in their twenties! Her mother is 18 and her father is 17! She can tell people what she is thinking by touching them! And to top it all off, her boyfriend used to be in love with her mother!" Rosalie screamed back at him.

I looked at Edward in panic. His face was a mirror reflection of mine. We had never told Nessie that Jake used to be in love with me, or the time Edward had left me. She didn't know about James, Victoria, the newborn army; anything that wasn't pleasant in my human life. She knew about Edward and me falling in love, and vampires. She knew all our family's stories. She knew about the werewolves and the pack legends. She knew about the Volturi because of our meeting the Christmas after her birth. Edward and I both turned to look at Nessie; her hand was gripped onto Alice's wrist. She looked like she was going to collapse, or start shaking.

"Wh…what?" She stuttered out, shaking throughout her knees. We all turned to look at Rosalie. Both she and Jake realized we were in the room, and both faces turned to panic. Rosalie turned her gaze onto Edward and I; Jacob looked at Nessie. Alice put her hand on Nessie's back; she really did look like she was about to collapse. Nessie started shaking completely she was so in shock.

Everything happened very fast. Alice swung Nessie up into her arms, and ran her back to the cottage. Edward followed after them, quickly catching up to them. Carlisle pulled Jacob into his office and began fixing his cuts. Emmett ran to Rosalie; instantly trying to make her feel better. Jasper ran out after Alice. He was hopefully going to help Nessie. I was frozen in place. I had never wanted Nessie to know the extent of my human life; I didn't like thinking about it. Edward felt the same way; neither of us _ever_ talked about that hellish seven months after my eighteenth birthday.

"Bella, Bella honey." Esme's soft, calm voice unfroze me. "Go home to the cottage; I think you and Edward need to talk to Nessie." I nodded slowly. She ran up to Carlisle's office. As I was turning I heard Rosalie yell after me,

"Bella, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

I ran through the forest, as fast as I possibly could. I knew this coming conversation would not be easy. I walked through the front door, and was greeted by Alice and Jasper.

"Bells, you OK?" She put her hands on my shoulders. I shook my head. A wave of calm ran over me, but I was too worried for it to have any effect.

"Bella, it's alright." Jasper told me. "She would probably have found out sooner or later." When I didn't respond, he continued. "I calmed her down as best I could, but she is still a bit crazed underneath. Once you explain everything, she will most likely be fine." I nodded. Jasper walked past me and ran towards the main house.

"Seriously, Bells, it will be okay." Alice told me. She kissed me on the cheek, and then ran after Jasper. Edward walked around the corner.

"Is she OK?" I asked him.

"I didn't talk to her yet. I was waiting for you."

"Well, this won't be a pleasant conversation." I laughed.

"No, it will not be." He kissed me, and then led me into Nessie's room. Nessie was sitting on her bed, looking down. She looked up when we entered, then looked back down. She had wet marks down her cheeks; it broke my heart to see her crying.

"What do you want?" She asked, still looking down. She sounded angry but farther than that, she sounded hurt.

"Ness, we need to talk to you." Edward said. We sat down on the edge of her bed. She leaned her head back against the wall.

"Joy." She said, rolling her eyes. She looked us in the eyes for the first time. "What have you been hiding from me?"

"My human life." I sighed. "Let's start from the beginning." I took a deep breath. "You know about us first meeting, and everything about that right?"

"Yeah. Dad told me about you falling in love and the extents of that, and you went and played baseball with the family, and you went to prom a couple weeks later." She said. I sighed.

"That's not the whole story. You don't know what happened in between." I looked at Edward; I would never be able to get the words out.

"You know what a tracker is? Like Coco?" He asked. She nodded. "Bella was with us while we were playing baseball. A coven of vampires- that weren't vegetarian- heard us playing and came to investigate. Their names were James, Victoria, and Laurent." I noticed how he said their names through his teeth. "We talked to them for a little bit. We were just about to leave when the wind blew. It ruffled your mother's hair, and sent her scent towards the other vampires. James was a tracker. He caught her scent, and started hunting." Nessie gasped, turning her gaze on me. "Jasper and Alice ran her to Phoenix; we wanted her as far away for James as possible. Grandma and Rosalie stayed in Forks to protect Charlie. Carlisle, Emmett, and I followed James. We were hunting him; we needed to kill him for James to give up his hunt. James figured out where she had gone. He flew to Phoenix, and called Bella. He tricked her into thinking he had Grandma Renee.

"Your mom decided to go to him. She didn't want James to hurt Renee in anyway. She was able to run away from Jasper and Alice by tricking them. She met him at a ballet studio. James never had had Grandma Renee with him. He tried to kill Bella." Edward's jaw tightened and his usually soft golden eyes seemed to harden and darken a shade. Nessie's mouth dropped open and she started at me. "I got there just in time. I pulled James off her; Emmett and Jasper took care of him. He had already bitten her. Bella was thrashing in pain- the burn of venom is not pleasant, to say the least. I had to suck the venom out- it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. Her blood was so tempting to me, it was impossible to stop. But I did.

"She was in the hospital for about a week. Carlisle was there, so he helped to repair her fractures and stop her cuts in the ballet studio. Alice stayed as well; she and Bella were already best friends. We came home, and about a week later we went to the prom."

I sighed when he was over. This next part would be impossible. He remembered it better than I did, so it would be harder for him to say it. It was in my human memories, so they were still blurry to me. For some reason though, they were the strongest of my human memories. It was the worst time of my life; as much as I tried, I wasn't able to forget them.

"Is that all?" Nessie asked in a quiet voice. Edward and I had both looked down- our heads shot up when she spoke. We looked at each other.

"Do you want to?" I whispered to him. He knew I meant telling the story.

"I can't." He said shaking his head. "I remember it too well." He shook his head again, obviously trying to shake the memories away. I nodded, and took a deep breath.

"No, that's not it." I told Nessie. "We spent that summer together. That September was my eighteenth birthday. Alice threw me a party, of course." I would've rolled my eyes, but this party was one I really wish she hadn't thrown. "I was opening my presents when I got a paper cut. Blood oozed out of my finger, which triggered Jasper. He didn't have as much self- control as he does now. He attacked me; his instincts were too great." Nessie gasped in horror. "Edward knocked me out of the way, causing me to fall onto a vase and slice my arm open. Emmett pulled Jasper off of Edward. Everyone, except Carlisle had to leave because of the blood.

"A couple days later, Edward brought me out for a walk in the forest behind Grandpa Charlie's house. He had thought over the danger his being a vampire caused me. He decided that to keep me safe he had to leave me. He-" Edward stopped me, and stood up.

"I'm sorry, Ness." He said, and then he ran from the room.

"Is Dad OK?" She asked me.

"Yes. His memories were just too strong. I'm sure he'll be back later."

"Oh, OK." She said, and then added softly. "Continue."

"He lied and told me he didn't love me. He really wanted to keep me safe, but he knew if he said that, I wouldn't let him leave. I asked him if he wanted me, and he said no." I had dry tears in my eyes by this point. Nessie gasped, and patted my hand. "He left me in the forest. The next couple months were a blur. I don't remember them at all."

"Charlie unfroze me one day. He threatened to send me to Jacksonville if I didn't do something with my life. I befriended Jacob. I had known him before that, but we really became friends then. He turned into a werewolf during that time. He had to leave me because Sam told Jacob he couldn't talk to me. Sam said it was dangerous if we spent too much time together. Jacob eventually told me everything. He pulled me through the hardest part of my life, but my heart was still missing. Whenever something related to Edward or any of the Cullens, I felt like I had a whole in my chest. I spent most of the time with my arms wrapped around my torso, holding myself together." Nessie had tears in her eyes too, but I couldn't stop my story. If I let myself think over what I said, I would break down.

"I realized whenever I did anything dangerous, I could hear Edward's voice. And it didn't hurt. Jacob and I fixed up motorcycles, and I heard your father's voice every time I rode them.

"One day, I was bored and depressed- to say the least. Jacob had promised to take me cliff diving- which you will never try-" I added. "I was supposed to wait until he could go with me, but I decided to go alone. I jumped. I hadn't thought about the force of the waves. I had heard Edward's voice the entire way down, and while I was standing on the cliff edge. As soon as I hit the water, I knew I wasn't going to make it. The currents were too strong; I was bobbing above and below the water. My last thoughts were, 'Goodbye, I love you.'

"The next thing I knew, Jacob was in the water. He had spotted me from the shore, and swam in to save me. He pulled me out, and brought me back to his house. Once I had caught my breath, he brought me home. He said he smelt vampire, so he wanted to take me back to his house. But I saw Carlisle's Mercedes across the street. I told him to bring me back, but he wouldn't. He got out of the car, and ran home. I went back to Grandpa Charlie's house.

"Alice was waiting for me. She had a vision that I had jumped off, but because Jacob jumped in to save me, she lost her vision as I hit the water. She had come back without Edward knowing to help Charlie. She had promised to stay with me for a while. Grandpa Charlie wouldn't be home very much; his friend Harry Clearwater had died.

"One day, Jacob came over. The relationship between the Quileutes and the Cullens was still tense, so Alice left the room. Dad called, pretending to be Carlisle, and asked where Charlie was. Rosalie had told him I had died, since that is what Alice told the rest of the Cullens. Edward asked where Charlie was, and he said the funeral. Jacob meant Harry's; Edward thought mine.

"He decided to go to the Volturi; he didn't want to live in a world without me. He asked the Volturi to kill him, but they denied his wish. Alice and I raced to Italy to save him. She stole a yellow Porsche; the exact model of her car now. He was going to step into the sunlight to expose his vampirism. The Volturi were ready to stop him if he went through with the plan. I ran through crowds of people- it was Saint Marcus Day. Marcus of the Volturi, in fact. I got to Edward just in time. He was just about to step out into the sunlight.

"That was when we met the Volturi the first time. They issued that we could go in peace, but I knew too much about the vampire world, so I would need to be changed. We went home, and Edward and I got back together again. He explained everything to me, and I absolutely forgave him. We also went to his house to talk to the family. They voted on whether or not I should stay mortal or not. The majority voted for immortality."

Edward walked back into the room. He clearly was listening to our conversation, but wouldn't be able to frame the words with the pictures. He sat back down next me, slipping his arm around my waist.

"Wow. I never would've thought looking at you two now that that happened." Nessie sighed. She sounded so overwhelmed. "That's everything right? Please say yes." Her eyes were pleading.

"Sorry baby, but no, that is not everything." I told her gently, cautious of her reaction. She let that information sink in, then nodded her head.

"Your mother and I got into some arguments about her safety and werewolves." Edward said. "She argued that Jacob wasn't dangerous, and I argued that he was. After rounds of her sneaking out to visit him, I agreed to her terms. I wanted her to trust me, and that I would never leave, so I trusted her. I let her visit him, but with precautions. Like bringing a cell phone, and driving her to the boundary line. After many visits, I began to believe he wasn't as dangerous as I believed.

"One day, my assumptions were proven wrong. I brought her over to the boundary line where Jacob was. His thoughts were screaming at me; I tried to ignore him as best I could. That day, Jacob told Mom that he was in love with her. He believed that he had fallen completely in love with her. Before she could respond to his words…" He gritted his teeth together in fury. He had never forgiven Jacob for kissing me, then breaking my hand. He looked at me.

"Before I could respond," I continued his story. "He was kissing me. I was furious at him; he knew my feelings for Edward. As soon as he let me get away, I punched him. He was a werewolf, and he has a hard head. I fractured my knuckles on my right hand. Grandpa Carlisle put me in a brace. Edward and I were both furious at Jacob, but I eventually forgave him. He had always been my best friend.

"Throughout all of this, another crisis was occurring. Victoria from the earlier coven was James's mate. She wanted revenge for Edward killing James. She wanted mate-for-a-mate. For her losing James, she wanted Edward to lose me. She assembled a newborn army to kill me."

"Like the armies from Jasper's story?" Nessie asked tilting her head to the side. Edward was gritting his teeth through this entire story. He resented anyone who purposely wanted to harm me.

"Yes. The armies object was to get me. Whoever got to me first could have my blood. A huge battle came. The Cullens were ready, the werewolves were helping, and I was in hiding with your father. He was originally going to go fight with them, but I couldn't bear the thought of losing him again. The thought of him not coming back horrified me.

"We never knew the worst battle would be at our camp site. Seth had stayed with us to additionally protect me. Victoria caught my scent, and traced it up the mountain. She brought along a year-old vampire, Riley. Seth fought off Riley, and Edward fought Victoria. Seth was able to defeat Riley, but Victoria was more difficult. She had experience in fighting, plus a useful gift. She can feel the right moment to escape during any moment. She was about to take off through the forest; anything to survive. Her thoughts had given her away to Edward though; plus he was faster. He gripped her by the shoulders, and then he brushed his lips against her neck. With that, he beheaded her." Nessie gasped in horror. Tears were still in her eyes from when I told her about Jacob.

"Victoria was no more." Edward said. "We went on with our lives now that any danger was annihilated. We became engaged the day before the battle, and we finally agreed to let Alice plan our wedding. We got married, and well, you know the rest." He added with a smile.

"W-o-w." Nessie said slowly. We gave her a couple minutes to absorb the information. "Does Jacob really love me?" She asked, shocking me.

"Of course he does baby. Why would you ever think differently?" I asked her.

"Well, he used to be in love with you." She said quietly.

"He thought he was. He hadn't imprinted because you weren't born yet. He lost all the_ love_ love he had for me when he first saw you."

"OK." Nessie said, taking a deep breath.

"You OK?" Edward asked, placing his hand on top of hers. She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a bit overwhelmed." She smiled for the first time since the beginning of this conversation. It was a real, natural smile. "Thank you for finally telling me the truth."

"You're welcome. We didn't want to tell you because we were afraid it would affect your and Jacob's relationship." Edward said.

"I think it will. But I think it will make things better since I know why he is who he is."

"Let's go back to the house. We need to make sure Alice realizes she isn't planning an event for the entire state of Washington. She usually goes overboard on the party planning." Edward rolled his eyes while Renesmee laughed.

We got up and ran back to the house. We found Bentley flying around in circles near the ceiling. I wish I could hear what he was thinking right now.

**Haha, well Bella's wish will become true next chapter!! Yes, it will be in Bentley's POV!!!!!!! Sorry for the seriousness of this chapter. I needed to add it in for the story to make sense. Anyway, please review!!**


	23. Inside Bentleys' World

**Chapter 23  
Inside Bentley's World**

**AN: I'm feeling in a giddy mood since all my finals are over!!! Woo hoo!!!!!! Haha, I probably bombed them, but oh well!  
****Don't own Twilight or anything else.  
****Hugs n kissies- maggie**

**Bentley POV!- Please remember he's a puppy; like with Tuffy's, his mind will wander.**

I am so glad I am able to fly! It is so much fun to fly around my whole big family! My family, puppies and vampires, are all really cool. Well, most of them. Some of them are scary! But Mommy says that they don't want to hurt us. They are there to keep us safe and to take care of Daddy, Mommy, my sister, and me. I really like the house too. It is white and really clean. As I'm flying around, I can see everything that is going on.

Emmett and Jasper are playing video games. Emmett is winning. He is big and strong. He is super tall and had lots of muscles. He looked scary at first, but he is really smart, caring, and funny. I play Mario Cart with him a lot.

Jasper is really nice. Sometimes he looks like he wants to eat me, but then he and Alice will leave, and in an hour, he looks normal again. I play video games with him too. He is easier to beat that Emmett.

Carlisle is reading a ginormous book. It could be as big as me! He looks really into the book. I wish I could know what it is about, but I can't read. Maybe Emmett can teach me later!

Edward just came back into the room with Nessie and Bella. He has really tall hair. He is just a little bit shorter than Emmett, but not as muscular. He is really nice, especially when Bella is around. Whenever, she is with him, he is in a supertastic mood.

Alice is writing in a notepad and on her pink laptop. She is really cute and short. She is still tall to me, but she is better than everyone else. I don't have to stretch my neck as far to see her. She wears really pretty clothes too. She buys me lots of sweaters to keep me warm. She just bought me little UGG boots. They are so warm and feel like I'm walking on clouds. Little, puffy clouds.

Rosalie is flipping through a fashion magazine. She is the smoking hot one. She wears really tight clothes, but I like it. I told Daddy I had a crush on her, and he told me he did too. We found out we can talk through our minds, like werewolves. Like the separate packs, we can only hear what we want the others to hear. After he said that, Mommy hit him with her paw. I giggled, and then ran. Rosalie keeps my family's house nice and clean. She helps if anything breaks in the house or if we need more treats. Coco and I love treats.

Esme is sketching on a notepad. She is a really good artist. She is painting the flowers on top of the TV. She isn't using colors, but the picture still looks really pretty.

Bella is standing in the doorway next to Edward. She is really pretty, almost as pretty as Rosalie. She likes watching me fly around. I played tag with her once, but I won. I flew in the air higher than she could reach. She couldn't find me at first, and then she looked up. I was really close to the ceiling. She is always near Edward.

Nessie is my most favoritest. She is a half- vampire like me, but her other half is human, not puppy. She brushes my fur and plays lots of games with me. She visits our house so much, which we all love. She is always in a excellent mood.

Nessie held her arms out for me. I slowed down, and then flew softly, landing perfectly in her arms. She walked me over to the white couch, and sat down. She began stroking my fur. Someone sat down next to her; I lifted my head to see who it was.

AHHH!!! It was scary Jacob! He was super tall, and really big. He had giant muscles that looked like they could tear me to pieces. He scares me so much, especially when he is in his wolf form. He looks like a big giant monster with fur! He has a whole bunch of wolfie friends, too. They don't scare me as much when they are in human form, but I don't like seeing them as wolves. They really scare me!! I hid my head inside Nessie's elbow. She squeezed me harder and patted my fur to calm me down. She started showing my pictures of video games to calm down. It worked, but now I really wanted to play some!

I barked a quick, high-pitched yelp. She laid her hand against my neck.

_You want to play video games? _I nodded. _Do you want to play with Emmett? _I nodded again. She released me; I flew into the next room where Emmett and Jasper where.

"BENTLEY!" Emmett screamed, putting his controller down. Jasper paused the game, and plopped down into a chair. Emmett pulled me out of the air and hugged me to his chest. He was wearing a really soft blue sweater. It felt nice on my skin. "Where have you been, buddy?" He asked me. He did that a lot, even though I had no way to answer him. I just barked every time. He smiled when I did.

"Do you want to play some video games? Jasper and I are almost done with this game, but when we finish I'll play with you, OK?" I was about to nod excitedly, but Jasper spoke before I could.

"He can play now. You're crushing me anyways, plus I need to make sure Alice doesn't go overboard on her plans." I heard Alice growl from the other room. We all laughed, and then Jasper left the room. He rubbed my head as he passed.

"Ok, Bent. Let's play Mario Cart!" Emmett screamed, setting me down in front of the white wheel. He plugged the game in and picked the hardest race. We had played every single race, but we couldn't decide on a definite winner. Sometimes I would win, sometime he would.

We raced a bunch more times. I won the first race, but Emmett won the second. We kept playing until I was winning ten games to four. We would've played more, but I was so thirsty. I barked to get his attention, and my voice came out parched. That was good; he knew immediately what I wanted. He got the little steel bottle out of the cupboard, filled it with my dinner, and gave it to me. It tasted so good, especially since I was super thirsty.

We decided to take a break from video games after I was finished. He carried me into the main family room. Coco ran over and sat next to me; Nessie followed her over. The big, scary monster was about to come sit with her, but Nessie motioned for him to stay where he was. Yay! She knew I was scared of him, but she was trying to help me with that. Every time I wasn't too scared of him, I would catch a glimpse of him as a werewolf.

I turned to look at Coco.

_I like your boots. _She thought. I smiled at her. I looked over where Alice and Jasper were sitting. She was quieter than she usually was.

Out of nowhere, Alice was standing on the table. Her tall heels made her taller than everyone else. I really had to stretch my neck to see her.

"Alice, get off the table! Your heels are going to scratch the table!" Esme scolded her. The table was glass, and Alice's heels looked really pointy!

"No they won't!" She declared smiling. She had probably had a vision that the shoes won't scratch the table. "Everyone, I have an announcement to make!"

**Ooohhh…. Sorry for the cliff hanger!!! OK, I need suggestions! What should her announcement be, and who should next POV be?! As always, winners will be dedicated to!!!**


	24. The joke's on Emmett

**Chapter 24  
The joke's on Emmett**

**AN: ALOHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS SO MUCHO FOR THE REVIEWS!!!!! Sooooo sorry for the mongo delay!!! Just an FYI: for the next week, updating might be kinda slow. I have tons of end of the school year activities, so I might not get another chapter up in the next couple of days; but after that is summer vacation so then I'll have a bunch more time to update!! Thanks so much for reading every chapter and all your reviews!! xoxo always~ maggie**

**Chapter is dedicated to peacelovextwilight30 for her POV suggestion!!**

**Don't own Twilight.**

**Carlisle POV**

Alice just climbed up on the table. Esme tried to tell her her shoes would scratch the table, but I had seen Alice having a vision a couple minutes ago, so I'm assuming that she saw her heels wouldn't.

"Everyone, I have an announcement to make!" She said, looking around until she had everyone's attention. I spied Nessie sitting with Coco and Bentley; she had taken the truth better than anyone thought she would.

"Alice…" Everyone moaned. Alice's announcements usually involved complicated plans and lots of shopping. Edward was shaking his head at Alice's plan. Now I _really_ didn't want to know.

"Shush. You are going to hear it anyway so suck it up." She said with a grin. "Now can I say my announcement, or are you going to keep interrupting me?"

"No, you may not say your announcement." Emmett said matter-of-factly. "And yes, we will keep interrupting you." Trust Emmett to say something exactly like that. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Ok, so here is my announcement," Alice said.

"_The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and rou--" _Rosalie slapped Emmett on the back of the head. He was clearly going to make sure Alice got interrupted. _Well, this was going to be a pleasant day. _I thought sarcastically.

"I have finished my plans for the inauguration ceremony!" She shrieked, clapping her hands together.

"_I like big butts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny! When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist, and a round thing in your face, you get—oh!"_ Alice whipped her heels at Emmett. They hit him in the center of the face, stopping his song. A flicker of mischief flashed across Rosalie's eyes, and then she put on a fake mask of anger. She looked at Emmett.

"ARE YOU TELLING ME I HAVE A BIG BUTT?!" She screamed, turning the joke around at Emmett. Her face was perfectly furious; he one hundred percent believed it.

"What?! No, of course not! It was just the song!" He answered quickly.

"OH, AND YOU _HAD _TO PICK THAT SONG?! OF ALL THE OTHER MILLIONS OF SONGS OUT IN THE WORLD, YOU PICKED THAT ONE?!"

"No, the song is just funny! I didn't mean it towards anyone in any way!" He shook his head rapidly.

"SO THAT MAKES THE SONG APPROPRIATE?! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE SITTING NEXT TO ME: YOUR WIFE!" She glared had him with fake, but intense eyes. Emmett was too in shock to realize she was faking. I usually wouldn't have let this go on, but this was way too hilarious to stop.

"Rose, I don't think you have a big butt! I just picked the first song that came to mind!"

"DID IT COME TO MIND BECAUSE YOU ARE HOLDING HANDS WITH ME?!" Rosalie dramatically ripped her hand away from his. Tuffy was sitting on the floor in front of Rosalie's feet. Rosalie leaned down, picked him up, and held him close to her stomach.

"NO! Of course not! I was trying to annoy Alice!" Emmett said quickly, trying to get Rosalie to calm down. Luckily the rest of my family knew what was going on, so Jasper didn't bother calming Rosalie down.

"WELL SINCE YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH SUCH A FAT ASS LIKE ME, I'LL SPEND TIME WITH TUFFY!" Rosalie screamed, lurching to her feet. She shot up the stairs, brining Tuffy with her. She slammed her and Emmett's door, and loudly locked it. Emmett was too in shock to notice, but we could hear Rosalie's quiet laughter.

"ROSE!" Emmett screamed, running up the stairs. He banged on the door. "Rose, I didn't mean it like that! Please let me in!"

"No! Go away Emmett!" Rosalie screamed; the fake fury back in her voice. It looked like Emmett would be up there for a while.

"Ok, then. Now that the distraction is gone, let's get back to the point." Alice said enthusiastically. "I have completed my plans for the party on Sunday! We have almost everything we need; I saved a bunch of stuff from Bella and Edward's wedding. We will need food, which Esme and Carlisle will be in charge of. I made up a whole list of everything we will need to purchase. Edward and Jacob will be in charge of guest list. We don't have enough time to mail out invitations, so you two will need to personally call everyone. I have the guest list already written up. Nessie and Bella will be in charge of decoration. I have a whole planned list of exact fabrics and placement. Emmett and Jasper will be in charge of set-up. I drew a blueprint up of the layout I want. Like Bella and Edward's wedding, the ceremony will be held inside, with the party outside. Rosalie and I will be in charge of fashion. We will be assisting Angela in getting ready, as well as selecting clothes for everyone else." Alice nodded to herself opening a thick, pink envelope. She passed out multiple different sheets to each pair. They were all handwritten in her personal script.

"Alice, this list is kinda long." Jacob complained. The directions and lists were pretty hefty.

"Then you better get to work!" She said smirking. "ROSE! GET DOWN HERE! WE NEED TO GO SHOPPING!" Alice yelled up the stairs.

"NO!" Rosalie yelled back. "I'm not coming out!"

"Rosalie! Please!" Emmett pleaded. "I'm sorry!" Emmett sounded like he was still locked out of their room.

"Go away!" Rosalie yelled. I'm honestly surprised Emmett hasn't figured the joke out yet. Usually Rosalie would've stopped by now, but we were all having too much fun with this.

We could all hear Emmett stand up- he must've been sitting on the floor outside the door- and bang on the door. Rosalie kept it closed, probably holding it closed. Emmett punched through the door- or did he rip it off? Esme quietly gritted her teeth next to me.

"NO! Emmett, put me down!!" Rosalie shrieked. Emmett came down the stairs carrying Rosalie upside-down over his shoulder. Tuffy followed after, but as a beach ball. He hopped down the stairs, flying higher each time. Rosalie was banging on Emmett's back. He was bringing her to the far couch; she winked and smiled at us as she passed. Emmett set Rosalie down right side up; she fake pouted when he could see her face. He sighed, and then looked her in the eye.

"Rose, I'm sorry. I didn't mean the song that way. I should've thought through my decision more carefully before picking it. I was just trying to annoy Alice, not insult you. I'm sorry."

He held her gaze for a moment, and then we all went into hysterics.

"What?! What is going on?!" Emmett looked around nervously.

"Em, I was kidding." Rosalie said gently, patting his hand. "I'm not mad at you; the song really was funny. The whole me being upset- just an act." She finished smiling. Emmett looked like he was about to go into shock.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Emmett said, only making the boys erupt into more laughter.

"I was kidding!" Rosalie said, kissing him on the cheek. He calmed down, whether from Rosalie or Jasper- I wasn't sure. Emmett opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. The girls were now laughing along with the boys.

"OK, enough of small talk; we have work to do!" Alice interrupted, pulling Rosalie off the couch. They shot out the door, and sped out in Alice's Porsche. Bella and Nessie did the same in Bella's Ferrari. Esme left to pull up the Mercedes. I turned and saw Edward and Jacob glaring at each other.

"Have fun boys." I said walking to the door. The last thing I saw was them both rolling their eyes at each other.

**Hope you liked!! Please review!! Oh, and I need opinions: next chapter POV: Edward or Jacob?**


	25. Phone Calls

**Chapter 25  
****Phone Calls**

**AN: SOO MANY REVIEWS!! YAY!!!!!!!!! OK, so you voted, and we have a tie- 16-16! Wow, thanks for the help guys! Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to do!! OK, I'm going to go with who I think will work better, so I think I should go with Jacob. His sarcastic mind will work better. I hope. I did count any one that said it should be both as 1 to each. **

**Sooooo sorry for the delay, but it's summer vacation so I'm free!!!! Woot woot!!! This is actually the first time I've logged on in six days! Any who… here is chapter 25!  
****Don't own Twilight.**

**Jacob POV**

I cannot believe Alice was making me work with Edward. I don't mind him so much, but why couldn't she have put me with Ness? Bella could've gone with Edward and Nessie and I could've made phone calls. We both would've been much better off. I hated being away from Nessie; she was my girlfriend, my whole life, my--

"Please stop thinking about her that way." Edward said looking at the list of names. Crap, I forgot that he could read minds. He sighed.

"OK, what are we doing?" I asked. I totally wasn't paying attention when Alice was talking.

"You are holding the page of instructions." Edward responded nodding towards the paper in my hands. I looked down; oh, I guess I was. Edward rolled his eyes. I read over the page, and then looked up.

"I'm done!" I told him and put down the paper.

"I know." He muttered, rolling his eyes again. Geez, he did that a lot! He rolled his eyes again. I rolled my eyes too just to annoy him. "Let's start calling people." He handed me a small black cell phone and placed the list sideways in the middle. He dialed the first phone number, talked for a few minutes, then hung up. He scratched the first name of the list with a thin black pen.

"Are you going to help me or do I have to do this by myself?" He said dialing a new number. He repeated what he did before, and crossed off another name. Hmm, I should let him do it by himself. I could go off and play games or go home. I could use a nice, hot bubble bath. Plus, Embry bought me a cowboy rubber ducky last weekend!

"Where the hell did that come from?" Edward said, scrutinizing my face. I shrugged, and he rolled his eyes _again_. "No, I will not do this by myself. Even though Alice can't see you, I will tell her that you ditched me to take a bath with a cowboy ducky. And if you have learned anything these past few years, it's never to mess with Alice's plans."

Eeep, he was right. Alice did not take lightly when her plans were altered. She used her visions to plan out her entire day. She had even figured out how to see around Nessie and me. Isn't that just a useful way to use your time?

"Exactly." Edward nodded. Gosh, does he have to hear every single thought in my mind?! "Well, maybe if you stopped shouting them I would be able to block you out!"

"Well, that's not my problem!" I shouted back. I really didn't want to make phone calls to a bunch of strangers. I mean some of them could be strange! Edward rolled his eyes again.

"Start calling people. Everyone else will be home in a couple hours, and we need to be finished by the time they get home." He dialed another number, talked again, and then crossed off one more name. There were two sides to the list; he already had five names done. He threw me a stern look before dialing another number. I looked down at my list. The first name was Thomas Lewinkos. Wow, weird last name. I dialed the number.

_Hello? _Thomas had a deep, strong voice.

"Hey, this is Jacob Black on behalf of Miss. Angela Webber." Alice had given us a script of exactly what to say.

_Yo! What's up, man?! _Why would this guy be invited?

"Nothing, I am calling to formally invite you to the inauguration and celebration. Because of time restraints, invitations were unable to be sent out." Who wrote this script? It was so freaking formal!

"_Hey dude! No worries! I don't need some fancy written letter. I'm so there!" _

"OK, cool. How many will you be bringing along with you?"

"_You know Alice Cullen?" _Edward looked up at me when he mentioned Alice.

"Yeah."

"_Then tell Alice that Tommy is totally in the house. She knows my deats." _Whatever.

"Alright. Well, have a nice day and we will see you Sunday night." This script sucks!

"_Kay. Peace out dog". _HEY! I AM NOT A DOG! I'M A WOLF! Edward rolled his eyes. I hung up the phone. Aw, boo hoo; Eddie looked annoyed.

"MY NAME IS NOT EDDIE!" He shouted.

"But Edward is so twentieth century! And like some big old city name!"

"Well, duh!" He shouted back rolling his eyes.

"Huh? I'm confused." What did the twentieth century have to with some obvious answer?

"Jacob Black, where and when was I born?" He asked. I had no idea so I got creative.

"Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away?!" I said with a huge smile. Edward put his face in his hands and shook his head back and forth.

"No, you stupid dog." We heard Bent growl from the couch. "No, you stupid wolf. I was born in Chicago in 1901."

"And your point would be?" I had no idea where he was trying to lead me.

"I was born in the twentieth century, in a big city." He said the words slowly. Oh! Everything just clicked. Edward rolled his eyes again and dialed another phone number. He chatted with the person for a _really_ long time, and then hung up.

"Wow, that was a really long conversation. Who was it?"

"Nessie." He said with a grin.

"WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME TALK TO HER?"

"You never asked!" Edward said with a smug grin. I growled at him.

We both looked out the window as we saw Mimi running up the porch. We had given Amira the nickname Mimi, since she wasn't actually going to be a princess. We discovered that her parents were royal puppies- pets of a king a queen- but that the country had disintegrated into joining a much larger country. Mimi's paws were all covered in mud- she looked like she had brown boots on her white paws. She came running across the porch, into the house, over Esme's white carpet, and leaped onto the table. I tried to get her off, but she was too quick. She stepped onto the white lists, walked around on them, and then lay down on top of them.

"MIMI!" Edward screamed, lifting her carefully off the papers. He handed her to me. "Go clean her off; I'm going to try and fix these papers." He picked up the now speckled papers and began wiping them off with a paper towel. I ran up stairs and filled a bucket with water and soap. I dipped her paws carefully into each one. The mud came right off; her fur was shiny and white again! I combed through her fur to make sure the wet fur wouldn't knot. I brought her back downstairs and set her down next to Bentley. I walked back over to the table where Edward was wiping the mud off the table. He had already cleaned the floor.

"How bad is it?" I asked.

"Not too bad; the mud on the floor, porch, and table came right off. I was able to get most of it off of the papers but some set before I could wipe it off." He tossed the now brown paper towels into a bag, ran to the kitchen, and was back before I could blink. I examined the papers; his side only had mud on the names he already did, so he wouldn't have a problem. The mud on my side was right smack in the middle of the list; some of the names were almost impossible to read.

"Damn it, some of the names are completely covered!" I ranted to Edward.

"Jeez, calm down. We can figure them out." He rolled his eyes yet again as he sat down at the table.

"OK." We both dialed another number, talked, and hung up. I crossed that name off my list, and then looked down at the next one.

"This one is completely covered, but I think it says Claire." Why would Claire be invited? She doesn't even know Angela, plus Quil isn't invited.

"That definitely says Charlie." Edward told me dialing another number. He was almost done with his whole entire list! And I only had four done!

"It says Claire!" I screamed.

"It says Charlie!" He screamed back.

"Claire!"

"Charlie!"

"Claire!"

"Charlie!"

"Claire!"

"Fine! Call Claire and invite her! Just see what Alice says when she comes home! If you screw it up, it'll be all your fault!" Edward screamed getting up from the table.

"Where are you going?" I yelled after him. He was headed up the stairs and I wasn't going to do this by myself!

"I'm finished with my list! Have fun!" He called back down in a sinister voice, followed by an evil laugh. Dang, he was so evil. Edward let out another evil laugh. I picked up the phone and dialed Claire's number.

"_Hello?" _Quil answered.

"Wow, Quil answered Claire's phone. Shocker."

"_Oh, hey Jake! What's up?"_

"Nothing much, just wondering if you and Claire wanted to come to this party the Cullens are having on Sunday."

"_Yeah, we are totally there."_

"_QWIL!!!!! It tea pawty time!!!" _Claire screamed. _"Who on phone, Qwil?"_

"_Jacob." _Quil said away from the phone.

"_GIMME!!"_ Claire shrieked. _"UNCA JAY!"_ She screamed after Quil had passed the phone off.

"Hey, Claire. What are you and Quil up to today?"

"_Tea Pawty!! Wanna come?"_

"Sorry Claire, I'm kinda busy today." I did not want to endure the torture of having to watch Claire dress up Quil as a girl. Actually, that could be quite hilarious.

"_Kay, Jake. Bye!"_ She slammed the phone onto the receiver. I'm sure Quil was going to have a blast playing dress up.

As I was snapping the cell phone shut, Rosalie and Alice walked back in, followed by Esme and Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper, and finally Bella and Nessie. Edward bolted down the stairs and rushed to Bella's side. I stood up to go to Nessie's side.

"Did you guys finish?" Alice asked, placing her shopping bags on the floor. Her and Rosalie combined to have about thirty bags.

"I did." Edward said, the sinister tone back in his voice. Everyone turned to look at me.

"Nope, I didn't finish. I just finished calling Claire." I said crossing her name off the list.

"Claire? Why did you call Claire? She wasn't on the list." Alice said.

"Yeah, right here." I picked up the list and brought it to her. I pointed to Claire's name. Alice looked where I pointed, then her face grew furious.

"You stupid mutt! That says Charlie!" Alice shrieked, her hands balling up into fists.

"HA!!" Edward screamed jumping up and down.

**PLEASE REVIEW!!! HOPE YOU LIKED!!!**


	26. When did this happen before?

**Chapter 26  
When did this happen before?**

**AN: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I SERIOUSLY DO; YOU ARE ALL THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**If anyone wants a chapter dedicated to them, tell me what POV you want, and I'll try my best!**

**Don't own Twilight or anything else.**

**Alice POV**

That stupid mutt! He messed up my entire plans by calling the wrong person. He called Claire and invited her instead of calling Charlie. Inviting Claire means Quil will have to come, which means the whole pack will need to come. I wanted Charlie there because he hasn't seen Bella or Nessie since before Emmett got Tuffy. Having a whole pack of werewolves there would just screw everything up!

"HA!!" Edward screamed shocking us all. He started jumping up and down throwing his hands in the air. He pointed at Jacob mid-hop. "TOLD YOU! tOLD YOU! TOLD YOU!"

"DAD!" Nessie yelled at Edward. He read her thoughts, and then calmed down. Bella just started shaking her head.

"What did Edward tell you?" Esme asked the rotten party-ruininger.

"That the name said Charlie and not Claire." Edward said in a smug voice from behind me. I was still freaking pissed, but I had an idea.

"Jacob?" I asked in a sugar sweet voice, batting my eyelashes. "Can you please come out to the porch with me so we can discuss this calmly?"

"Ummm… sure?"

"Wonderful!" I said, sweetly clapping my hands together. I put my small hand on his giant arm and led him out to the porch. I closed the door behind us.

"What do you want Alice?" Jacob asked me.

"Jacob Black, you screwed up all my plans. You were the only werewolf I was going to allow at the party, only because Nessie would be mad at me if I forbid you from coming." I said, fury in my voice.

"Hey, it's not my fault Mimi stepped on the papers!" He quickly pleaded.

"I don't care." I said shaking my head. He cringed, and was about to make a run for it. I swung my leg back to kick him across the river, but before I could swing it forward, Jasper's arms were around me. He pulled me back into the house, swinging me up so he was cradling me. He brought me up to our bedroom and set me down on the bed.

He raised his eyebrows at me. He didn't say anything.

"HI!" I said in a cheery voice, excitedly waving at him.

"Alice, why were you thinking about kicking Jacob Black across the river and into a tree?" Jasper asked disapproval seeping into his voice.

"Since when can you read minds?" I asked him ignoring the question.

"I can't, but I can hear when Edward tells me to go pull you off the porch if we want all the trees in the forest to survive. Now, stop trying to distract me and answer the question." He sighed. He knew I would keep trying to pull his mind away from the real problem.

"Ok, so I had everything perfectly planned out," I explained hastily. "Everything was all set and totally prepared. I invited Charlie because he hasn't seen Bella or Nessie since Emmett brought Tuffy home. I figured since he also knew Angela and her parents, he would want to be there. But with Jacob inviting Claire, it screwed everything! Claire being there-near vampires- mean Quil would feel the need to come with her, which means the other werewolves would need to come to make sure Quil kept his temper. I didn't want any werewolves there! The only reason I was letting Jacob Black come is because Nessie would probably freak out at me if I didn't, so I had to!"

Jasper sighed and shook his head. "Alice, Alice, Alice…" He muttered.

"Hey, I didn't actually kick him!" I reminded him.

"You were about to." He said calling my bluff. Dang, he was right. My face fell. He laughed at my expression. "Don't worry about it. Jacob can call Quil back and tell him there was a mistake. Everything will be fine." He patted my hand and sent calm waves out until I calmed down. I took a deep breath.

"OK. Thanks Jazzy." I kissed his cheek and hopped off the bed. He took my hand an led me downstairs. Emmett was sitting on the couch- Tuffy in his lap- holding the lay-out blueprint. He twisted it around, looking at it from different angles, trying to figure out which side is up. Jasper laughed at him.

"Which way does this thing go?!"Emmett freaked. Edward walked over, took the paper out of his hands, flipped it over, and placed it back in his hands. "Ah-HA!" Emmett screamed, finally figuring out the _hard _puzzle.

"Jacob, is there any chance you can call Claire and Quil and tell them there was a mistake?" Jasper asked.

"Sure, no problem." Jacob said picking up his cell phone. He dialed Claire's number. We could all hear the phone ringing.

"_Hewo?"_ Claire answered.

"Hey, Claire. It's Jake."

"_UNCA JAY!!!"_ Claire shrieked.

"Is Quil around?"Jacob asked.

"_Nooooo, Qwil awl dwessed up as pwincess!" _We all burst out laughing. The idea of Quil dressed up as a princess was hysterical.

"Claire, can you take a picture of him for me?" Jacob asked. We _had_ to see this for ourselves.

"_I dunno how! Come and tay piture fow me?" _Claire asked. I really wanted to meet her; she sounded so cute.

"OK, I'll be over in five minutes."

"_BYE JAY!!!!!!!!!!!" _Jacob hung up the phone and placed it back on the table. Nessie tossed her small silver camera to Jacob.

"Take a picture on my camera. This is totally going on Facebook." Nessie said with a laugh.

"Kay. See you later." He kissed Nessie on the cheek and ran out the back door. Finally the mutt was gone! I plopped down on the sofa next to Jasper.

"How far along did everyone get on their assignments?" I asked, pulling out my notebook to take notes.

"I finished my list, and then Jacob finished his while you and Jasper were upstairs."Edward said.

"Esme and I got all the groceries you had on your list." Carlisle said.

"Nessie and I picked up all the fabric." Bella said.

"Jazzy and I got everything out of storage." Emmett said.

"Don't call me Jazzy!" Jasper yelled at him. My thoughts were in sync with his; only_ I_ was allowed to call Jasper Jazzy.

"So you still don't want me?" Emmett fake cried. He leaped up and ran to his and Rosalie's room, slamming the door. Rosalie put her face in her hands and shook her head back and forth.

"_Still_?!" Carlisle asked. "When did this happen before?!" Everyone busted out laughing at the double meaning of his words. Even _Esme_ was laughing!

"Well it all started one rainy evening…" Emmett appeared behind Carlisle holding a guitar. The lights dimmed and a spotlight appeared over Emmett. He began strumming the acoustic guitar melancholy. He spook in a detached voice. "We were standing," He paused for dramatic effect. "All alone." What the hell is going on?!

"We'd rather not know." Esme said holding up a hand to stop him. She shuddered, and then cringed into Carlisle.

"Emmett, that explains _so, so_ much." Nessie told him.


	27. Babysitting

**Chapter 27**

**Babysitting**

**AN: Aloha!!!!!!! OMG I GOT OVER 300 REVIEWS!!!! HOLY CULLEN!!**

**OK, so I have one quick announcement. Peter Facinelli (Carlisle in the movie) has a bet with Rob Defranco that if Peter can get 500,000 followers by June 19****th****, Rob has to dance in a bikini down Hollywood Blvd. singing Single Ladies. If Peter loses, he has to give Rob the backing to his Twilight chair (the one that says PETER FACINELLI, like a director's chair). Peter also said that if he wins, he will give away the backing to one follower. So I want everyone who has a Twitter to go and follow him, and I want everyone who doesn't have one to go make one and follow him!! Copy and Paste this into all your profiles and help Peter get to 500k!! If you review and say you went and followed him, you get a chapter dedicated to you!!!**

**I don't own Twilight, or any other brand names mentioned here.**

**Emmett POV (any italicized of Emmett's thoughts are messages they are directing at Edward)**

Tuffy, Mimi, Coco, and Bentley grimaced at my singing. I mean I knew I wasn't _awesome_, but I wasn't horrible, right?

"No, you are most definitely horrible." Eddie told me. Stupid mind-reader. He sighed.

"So Miss Future, what's on the agenda for today?" I asked Alice, picking up Tuffy to brush his hair. Rose was doing the same thing for Amira- or Mimi as we now called her.

"Babysitting." Alice said slowly, a smug grin spreading across her face. She winked at Rose, and Bella who giggled. I have a _bad_ feeling about this.

"I do not have a good feeling about this, I do not have a good feeling about this, I do not have a good feeling about this!" Jasper murmured. Alice usually told him everything, and he knew nothing about this, so we were all worried.

"Nor should you." Edward muttered putting his head in his hands. Esme and Carlisle had left for work, and Nessie was over with Quil, Claire, and Jacob. Claire had decided to dress up Jacob too after he took Quil's picture. Nessie told Jacob he was coming over to save him, but we knew she just wanted to see this for herself.

"Alice, what are you planning?" Jasper asked carefully. Why did he have to ask that?! I don't want to know!

"Bella, Rosalie, and I are going out for lunch."

"Lunch? We don't eat!" I said. They all three rolled their eyes.

"We are meeting Angela for lunch."

"Oh. Wait, what are we three supposed to do?" Jasper asked.

"Babysit the puppies!" Alice shrieked. "But you have to stay in the main house. The doghouse is being cleaned today, so no one can go in."

"What if we can't think of enough stuff to do?!" I screamed at her. I loved them more than anything, but I wasn't sure if the stuff I liked to do, was the same for puppies.

"Don't scream at Alice!" Jasper yelled at me.

"Rosalie, guess what! I just heard Emmett say that he loves the puppies more than anything!" Edward told Rose gleefully. _Damn you, Edward. I will get you back for that! _

"WHAT?!" Rosalie shrieked glaring at me. I'm a dead man. Or vampire. So that would make me a manpire.

"Rosalie, I most definitely did not say that!" I quickly tried to save myself from Rose's wrath.

"Well, of course you didn't say that," Edward said. _Thanks bro_. _You really saved my butt there._ I thought in relief. "He thought it." Edward finished. _I hate you .So much._ I let out a string of profanities in my head, loud as I possibly could; calling him every bad word that has existed in the ninety-four years I have been alive.

"He also thought it with a whole bunch of lust, I might add." Jasper said. _I hate you both._

"WHAT THE HELL, EMMETT?!" Rosalie screamed. A thought sparked in my head. This would either save me or kill my love life for years to come.

"Rosie, I said that I loved them more than any_thing_. You are still the most important person in my entire life. I love you more than anyone. Or anything." Jasper shuddered at the lust I was purposely sending off of me in waves. I shot him a look that said, 'Send Rosalie some of that if you want me to survive'. He rolled his eyes, but sent the lust her way. She looked at Jasper, and then to Edward who nodded towards Jasper. She rolled her eyes, but leant in and kissed me on the cheek. Victory once again!

"Alright, we gotta go. Angela is going to think we ditched her." Alice said. She kissed Jasper, and then went out to get the Porsche. Bella kissed Edward, and then followed Alice out. Rosalie came over to me, but instead of kissing me right away, she whispered in my ear,

"You better show me tonight why I haven't killed you for thinking that yet." She pulled her face back, kissed me, and was out the door before I could recompose my face.

When I gained composure of myself, I saw Edward banging his head on a hardcover book, and Jasper pinching the bridge of his nose. He was trying to shake off the lust, so I decided to do my best and sent even more of it out at him. He fell off the chair backwards, the chair tipping under him. He was about to get up, so I let my mind remember that very first night with Rosalie, causing him to fall back down.

"Emmett, stop those thoughts before I stop them myself!" Edward growled at me. I shook my head with a smug grin. I was getting them both back for almost ending my life. "Do you want me to call Rosalie and tell her what you were thinking right after she kissed you on the cheek?!" He growled.

"What did I think that was bad?!" I couldn't see what would be so mad for him to threaten to call Rosalie.

"It is most certainly bad, and I quote, 'Victory once again!' end quote." Rosalie would have me for lunch if she knew I thought that. Damn, he was good.

"The best." He said smugly, flopping down to the couch. Jasper was standing up, lifting the chair off the floor. He was rubbing his head.

"If you do that to me again," Jasper threatened. "You will not be having a pleasant night with Rosalie tonight." Edward laughed.

"What are you talking about?" I wanted to know how bad he would resort to.

"I'm talking about different emotions every ten seconds. I'm not talking about happiness or lust either; I'd be headed in the direction of boredom and anger."

"You are evil, my friend." My eyes turned to slits glaring at him. My cell phone rang in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw that the future telling pixie was calling me.

"Hello?" I answered in Carlisle's voice, but gave him a weird French accent.

"_Hi, Emmett."_ Alice answered.

"Stupid fortune telling pixie." I growled at her.

"Hey!" Jasper warned.

"What do you need Alice?"

"As much as I am enjoying watching your conversation, you guys aren't doing a very good job babysitting. I'm sure Esme won't be very pleased if Bentley and Coco shatter her window." We all turned around to see Coco and Bentley playing tug-of-war with a piece of rope, using their teeth. They were dangerously close to the window.

"Crap, OK we're on it." I threw the phone at Jasper's head; it smacked him right in the middle of his face. He picked it up and started talking to Alice.

I moved Coco and Bentley away from the window, placing them in the corner that had no windows. They continued on with their tug of war. Jazzy was of course still talking to Alice. I pulled it away from him and snapped in closed right in his shocked face.

"What was that?!" He freaked.

"Dude, you're wasting my minutes!" I said. Edward was just shaking his head at us.

"Emmett, since when have you cared about your minutes?" Eddie asked. Before I could answer him, we heard a crash. We turned around and saw that Bentley and Coco had both shattered the back window. The rope was dangling from a point in the jagged window frame.

"Well, that isn't good." Jazzy said. I ran out to make sure Coco and Bentley were OK. They were perfectly fine, but they had shards of glass twined in their fur. I tried to pull one out of Bentley's fur, but it was knotted into the fur.

"They need a bath to be able to get the glass out." I told Jazzy and Eddie. Bentley and Coco smiled; they both loved water. "Be back later." I saluted them just to annoy them, and then rushed up the stairs and into Rose and I's bathroom.

**Edward POV**

I cannot believe Emmett just ditched us. What did Jasper and I know about puppies?! Well, come to think of it, how did Emmett know what he knows?

I picked up Tuffy. I placed him next to Mimi on the couch and took a step back. "What are we supposed to do with them for the next couple hours?"

"Don't worry bro, I've got an idea." He tapped his head telling me that he would tell me through his thoughts so Emmett wouldn't find out. I'm scared.

_Go outside and clean up the area that has glass. Bring Tuffy and Mimi with you. I have a fun game that we need the yard for._

He blocked his thoughts from me then, running up to the attic. Why would he go up there? All we had was storage; usually Esme was the only one to run up there to get decorations or vases. Without questioning it anymore, I took Tuffy and Mimi and went and cleaned the glass off the grass. When I was sure there was none left, I went and threw the pieces out. I came back to see Jasper standing in the middle of the yard- holding a large blue box- with a goofy grin on his face. He was also in swim trunks and had no shirt on.

"What's in the box, Jasper?" I asked carefully. I wasn't sure I wanted to know. _Oh, you'll find out .Go put on your bathing suit; I'll explain when you get back down. Get Em, Coco, and Bentley too. _

I did what he asked, and walked into Emmett and Rosalie's room to tell him to what to do. He was sifting through a large, pink box. The box had bows on it and was sparkly.

"Do I even want to know what's in that box?" I asked him. He looked up and smiled.

_Sup Eddie?_

"Don't call me that!" I growled at him. "What's in there?" I started walking over to the box, desperately hoping it wasn't one of his and Rosalie's…private…boxes. Nobody wants to know what would be in those.

"Clothes for the puppies." I breathed a sigh of relief. "What should I dress them in?" He looked up at me, wearing only swim trunks. "Why do you have no shirt on? Are you and Jasper gonna go at it or something?"

"Shut up Emmett!" Jasper growled from the backyard. I just rolled my eyes.

"Jasper is planning something, but refuses to tell me what. All he said was to put on your bathing suit and bring the puppies."

_Now I'm scared._

"I know exactly what you mean. Come out to the backyard when you're ready."

I ran out of the room, heading out to the backyard. Jasper had set up a giant Slip 'n' Slide with a twenty foot tall slide. The slide had bumps making it look like giant waves. Towards the bottom of the flat slide, there was a loop squirting out jets of water. At the very end of the slide was a big splash pool of water. Jasper had put four little rubber rafts, that looked like NASCAR cars, obviously for Tuffy, Mimi,

"Awesome!" I told Jasper, pounding his fist. He had a huge grin on his face stretching from ear to ear. Usually only Emmett smiled that way.

"I know! Is Emmett almost ready?" He asked me. Before I could read Emmett's thoughts and answer Jasper, Emmett was beside me.

"WOAH! THIS IS AWESOME!" Emmett said, pulling Jasper into one of his infamous bear hugs. "Wait, aren't these things designed for like 10 year olds?"

"Yeah, and your point would be…?" Jasper trailed off. That was the last thing we said before we started playing with the puppies on the Slip 'n' Slide. We could only go one of us and one puppy at a time; we didn't want to pop the rubber slide. The puppies had an awesome time; whenever we were about to stop they barked at us until we kept going. Even though it is meant for 10 year olds, we still had the best time ever.

About five hours after first leaving, the girls came back in. And to no one's surprise, Alice was carrying shopping bags. She dropped them in disbelief as she came into the backyard.

"You guys set up a Slip 'n' Slide?" Rosalie asked. _Oh yeah, she's totally checking me out. _Emmett thought. Bella was staring at me with a grin on her face.

"Why didn't you call to tell us?! I wanna try!" Nessie said. She had come home at the same time Bells, Alice, and Rosalie did. Bella and Alice smiled at her, then asked if they could join us. We of course told them yes. Rosalie was acting like she didn't want to play, but her thoughts deceived her.

_I totally want to play. I loved playing on these when I was human. Plus, I get to show off to Emmett in a bikini._

We played for about another hour before we heard Esme's car pull up.

"WHO BROKE MY WINDOW?!" Esme yelled and growled at the same time.


	28. Rosalie's Secret Slip 'n' Slide Past

****BONUS CHAPTER****

**Rosalie's Secret Slip 'n' Slide Past**

**AN: OK, thanks to a review from ilovebooks2000, I got an idea for a bonus chapter!! Don't worry; I'll keep going with the regular story next chapter!!**

**Chapter is dedicated to ilovebooks2000!!!**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Rosalie POV**

We were all sent inside by Esme, stopping our Slip 'n' Slide fun. She had gone up to her room to probably chill for a couple minutes, plus give us time to put on regular clothes. We had been told to stay in the family room and don't leave under any circumstances. So we were all stuck here with nothing to talk about.

"Rosalie, I got something out of your thoughts earlier that I'm wondering about." Joy, Edward was reading my thoughts again.

"What?" I asked annoyed. I hated when he read my private thoughts, plus now he was asking me questions about them.

"I heard you think that you played on Slip 'n' Slides when you were a kid, but they weren't invented until 1961. As a ten year old, it would've been 1925."

I put my head in my hands. Emmett started laughing, but the look I sent him silenced him. I had told him this story once on a hunting trip; he was the only one who knew anything about it.

"Rose, tell them the story. It's fine." Emmett patted my back and slid his arm around my waist. I looked up and took a deep breath.

"OK, so when I was around eight, my dad had an idea. He came up with this rubber slide that when wet, could easily be slid down. Rubber was first invented just before I was born, but the kind he was thinking of was more durable. His brothers liked his idea, so they formed a company.

"They called themselves…ugh…The Hale Hunks." I shuddered repeatedly, Em gripping me tighter. I hated that name so much. "Anyway, since my dad worked for the bank, it was really easy for him to get the loans. So they made a prototype.

"The prototype was really cool; there is only one in existence. I loved to play on it with my siblings, but I spent the most time on it. I received the prototype for my tenth birthday. I named it Slip 'n' Slide because one time I slipped at the top, and slid down to the very bottom.

"So The Hale Hunks went searching for a company to pick up their idea and manufacture it. They built it during the Great Depression, so they were only able to get enough loans to build the one prototype. No company was able to afford the costs it would take to make them.

"My dad was worried about what would happen to the Slip 'n' Slide when he wasn't alive anymore. Even though many years had passed since I played on it, it still held a place in my heart." This next part was the hardest for me to remember.

"My dad gave me complete ownership of the Slip 'n' Slide the very night I was changed. I had turned eighteen, so I was old enough to own it. I signed the contracts and everything; it was now officially mine. I was going to Vera's to tell her I now owned it. I told her, and she was thrilled for me.

"You all know what happened on the way home." I shuddered violently. I had held on to those memories so much, they were now grilled into my mind. "What you don't know is I snuck back into my old house to take the prototype. I took the pictures, prototype, contracts, and pictures of my parents. I wanted to keep something of them with me. I snuck back in the night I went back to Rochester, to avenge my 'killers'"

"On the forty- third anniversary of me signing the contract, I sold the product to the current owners- Wham-O, Inc. I picked the forty-third anniversary because that was how old my dad was when he gave me the rights. They took the design, and developed the now famous Slip 'n' Slide. I demanded they kept the name though." My family sat in stunned taking in my story. Well except for Emmett who was rubbing my back.

"Wow. I will never look at a Slip 'n' Slide the same way." Nessie said.

"Wait, you said there_ is_ only one prototype still in existence. Does that mean you still have it?" Bella asked, connecting the pieces. I sighed and ran up to mine and Emmett's room, carefully avoiding Esme and Carlisle's room. I went to the furthest corner of our closet and pulled out the large box I had kept here for 70+ years. The box was my mother's favorite suitcase; she had given it to me as a gift for my eighteenth birthday. I had absolutely adored it. I ran it back downstairs and set it carefully on the table. I unlatched the two hinges and pulled the top back, resting it on the pile of magazines.

"Wow, Rosalie. You are old!" Jasper said. I rolled my eyes but started unraveling the contents of the suitcase. I took out pictures and passed them around, then took out the old contracts that had now yellowed. You could perfectly see the ink, but the background was an aged yellow.

"Rosalie, your middle name was Lillian? I love that name; it is so pretty." Nessie told me.

"Is this you?!" Alice asked holding up a picture taken of me standing on the end of the slide.

"Yup, still a stunner, even at ten." Em told me, kissing my cheek.

"Control the mental images, Emmett. Control the mental images…" Edward murmured.

"OK, we really don't care about reading contracts; we want to see the original Slip 'n' Slide!" Jasper said. Of course the girls wanted to see the pictures; the guys wanted to see the prototype.

"Alright, alright! So impatient!" I muttered while standing up. I pulled out the brown and yellow slide and stretched it out. There were gasps and 'woahs' from my family and the complexity of it.

"Can we try it out in the backyard?!" Alice asked. Had she lost her mind?!

"NO!" I shrieked at her. I would never let anyone use it!

"Esme's coming! Act normal!" Edward whispered. With Emmett's help, I quickly folded up the Slip 'n' Slide and put everything away. I latched the suitcase up, but didn't bring it upstairs in fear of Esme thinking I was escaping.

"Normal, are we?" Em asked, a mysterious tone in his voice. He turned his head and winked at me. I knew what to do. As we saw Esme starting to descend the stairs, Emmett tightened his grip around me. That was my cue.

At exactly the same second, we both sent huge waves of lust at Jasper, remembering our most special nights. Jasper fell off his chair, so in shock by the sudden gust. He landed right at Esme's feet.

**Not the real story of the Slip 'n' Slide!!! I made it up; all brands go to their respective owners.**


	29. Again!

**Chapter 29  
Again?!**

**AN: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!!!**

**HERE ARE THE DEDICATIONS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!**

**.Cullen.!!!! ****Jaspersx3mine!!!!****aussietwilighter!!!!  
****Thank you for following Peter!!!**

**Also dedicated to Animeluver99 for their POV suggestion!!!**

**Esme POV**

I come home from work doing what I love. I was helping model a new business building. They couldn't figure out proper layouts, so they called me. I was more than happy to help.

I was expecting the house to be in one piece. How could three grown men get in trouble babysitting our little puppies? I truly loved Tuffy, Mimi, Coco, and Bentley, but sometimes they could get a little wild- Especially when Coco and Bentley were playing a competitive game.

As I turned the corner, I saw the house was still standing. But there was quite a lot of commotion coming from the backyard. I could tell all the kids were home, but were more excited than they usually were. Usually Emmett was the only one this loud, but now everyone was.

I shut off the engine and got out of the car. I pulled my purse out of the passenger seat and walked up the path to the house. I was going to go around to the backyard, but I figured it might be safer to check it out through the window. I walked through the front door and realized something.

There was no window.

"WHO BROKE MY WINDOW?!" I shouted, but it came out as half scream, half growl. The laughter from the backyard stopped immediately. I walked over to the no-more window and looked outside. Everyone was in their bathing suits –Rosalie's was much too revealing, as always- and there was a giant Slip 'n' Slide set up. I would bet that it was all Emmett's doing. They were looking up at me from the ground, not one of them seeming worried. Emmett of course had a big goofy grin on his face.

"Get inside." I told them. "And put some regular clothes on." I said glaring directly at Rosalie.

I walked up to mine and Carlisle's room and sat down at my desk. I sighed a heavy side and looked at the wall clock. Carlisle should be on his lunch break right now. He never actually had 'lunch'; he usually used it to catch up on some extra work. I was praying there wasn't an emergency he was called in for. I dialed his work number. It rang once.

"_Dr. Carlisle Cullen."_ He said in his formal voice, the way he answered his work calls.

"Hello Dr. Carlisle Cullen." Carlisle laughed.

"_Hello, Esme. Is everything alright?_" I usually didn't call him during his work hours.

"Other than the fact I need a new back window, _again_?" I rolled my eyes. I could only imagine their incredible explanation this time.

"_Again? I thought that window was unbreakable."_ Carlisle sighed the same time I did.

"It was supposed to be. How they managed to break it- I have no clue."

"_Have you talked to them yet?"_

"No, I came home and saw the broken window. They were all outside playing on a giant Slip 'n' Slide, which I'm assuming is Emmett's doing. They were all wearing their bathing suits, so I came up here to call you and let them cover up." He laughed at the last part.

"_Let me guess; Rosalie was revealing far too much?"_

"Of course. Emmett was having a hard time keeping his hands off her."

"_As always. Do you want to wait to talk to them until I get home?"_

"No, I can do it myself. I can't wait to see what their brilliant explanation is."

"_They are always colorful, at the least. My 'lunch' break is almost over. Good luck."_

"Thank you. I love you."

"_I love you, too." _I hung up the phone and stood up from the desk. I walked downstairs to where the children were sitting on the couches. There was an old, large, brown suitcase resting on the table.

"What is that?" Emmett was about to answer, but I held up a hand. "Nope, I don't want to know." I wasn't sure I actually wanted to know. Better safe than sorry.

"Hey Esme, what's up?" Emmett said in his always cheery voice. Everyone else just rolled their eyes at him.

"Alright, I install a vampire-proof window, and you still somehow manage to break it!"

"Yeah, we are just that talented!" Emmett said. Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head.

"Make another stupid remark and I am taking back my promise this afternoon!" Rosalie hissed at him. I turned to Edward.

"Do I want to know?" I asked him.

"Absolutely not." He said shuddering.

"Never mind that. Who broke the window?" They were just trying to distract me.

"I wasn't home!" Rosalie yelled.

"I was having lunch with Angela!" Bella yelled. I believed her; Bella almost never lied to me.

"I was shopping!" Alice shouted. I one-hundred percent believed that. I wouldn't have believed her if she said she wasn't shopping.

"I was at Claire's house, helping her dress up Quil and Jake as princesses!" Nessie said. My granddaughter ran up to me, pressed her hand to my cheek, and then sat back down. She showed me in her thoughts helping Claire dress up Jacob.

"Nessie, no offense, but Jacob makes an unattractive princess." She laughed.

"I know." Edward now laughed too, having seen Nessie's thoughts. Nessie put her hand to Bella's cheek, and then Bella laughed.

"I didn't break it; I was trying to get the disgusting images Emmett was sending me out of my mind." Edward said.

"I was on the floor from Emmett's stupid waves of lust." Jasper shuddered, and Alice patted his hand.

"I was sending out _awesome_ mental pictures and_ awesome_ waves of lust." Emmett said.

I rolled my eyes, not sure I believed anyone except the girls. "OK, so if none of you broke it, who did?"

The boys and Alice pointed to Coco and Bentley playing with a squeaky toy. They were so cute; how could they have broken it?

"Alice, you weren't even here!" Nessie said. Alice raised her eyebrows and tapped the side of her head. Nessie rolled her eyes and laughed- the sound a delicate peal of bells. She looked so much like Edward when she rolled her eyes.

"Really, Mom! We didn't break them! Look at the rope hanging from the window! It is covered in dog drool!" Emmett shouted in a scramble to save himself. I walked over to the window and picked up the rope. He was right; it was wet in what I could smell was dog saliva. Well, half dog- half vampire saliva.

"Did this really happen?" I asked, holding up the wet rope. It looked like it had some pretty serious bite marks- vampire teeth definitely. The dogs had the same razor sharp as any other vampire. That didn't say anything about Jasper and Emmett not fighting over this though. Edward let out a long, loud laugh at my thoughts and the mental picture that went with them.

"What's so funny, Dad?" Nessie asked. He just shook his head, still trying to contain his laughter.

"What am I going to do with you?" I said shaking my head at the two adorable puppies smiling up at me. I couldn't do something bad to them; they were so cute! I loved them so much, even though they had broken my so-I-thought-indestructible window. I couldn't let anything happen to them!

"OK, I want Emmett to fix my window; Edward, mop up the surrounding area that has glass; Jasper deflate the Slip 'n' Slide; and Rose--"

"What?" She whined. She had changed out of her bikini, but put on a just as revealing top.

"Cover up!" Edward and Jasper laughed hysterically while Emmett pouted and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Wait!" I shouted. They all froze in place.

"Whose idea was the Slip 'n' Slide anyway?" I was looking at Emmett, and was shocked when everyone pointed at Jasper. He cringed back at the attention. Wow, Jasper setting up a _Slip 'n' Slide_? Jasper?! "Aren't those designed for ten year olds?"

"And your point would be…?" Everyone answered at exactly the same time. I just shook my head. I ran up to mine and Carlisle's room and pulled out the _Cullen History_ notebook.

_5.18.09 Cullen History_

_The window was broken today._ Again. _I don't know how, but two little adorable puppies somehow managed to break a vampire-proof window. I couldn't give them any punishments though; they were so teeny!!_

_I decided to have Emmett fix the window, Edward mop up the area with glass, and Jasper deflate the Slip 'n' Slide. To my complete surprise Jasper was the one who initiated the Slip 'n' Slide. Where the idea came from I'm not sure I want to know._

_And as always, Rosalie was practically falling out of her bikini. Emmett was of course having a hard time keeping his hands off of her, but that isn't unusual. I quote Edward, "Guys, really! Get. A. Room!" end quote. Sometimes, I don't disagree with him. _

_Esme Cullen_

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Emmett screamed from downstairs.


	30. SuperGlue

**Chapter 30  
****Super Glue**

**AN: WOOOOH CHAPTER 30!!!!!**

**OK, so I started a new story (I'm definitely going to be continuing this one) It's called Finding Myself, so go check it out!! Not a comedy like this one, but I hope it's kinda good! **

**Chapter dedicated to Izzy for their POV suggestion!  
****I still don't own Twilight.  
****Nessie POV**

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Emmett screamed from downstairs. I rushed downstairs to see what was wrong. Grandma was following right behind me. It wasn't everyday you heard Emmett screaming.

"Dude, really?! You've got to be kidding me!" Jasper yelled. He sounded really angry. When I came into view of Emmett and Jasper, they were standing by the window. Were they holding hands?! Wow, that is a sight I never thought I'd see. Mom, Dad, Alice, and Rosalie were standing near the couches laughing hysterically.

"What happened?" Grandma asked looking at the window. It looked as beautiful as it did any other time. No offense to him or anything, but I never imagined Emmett could do as well as this.

"OK, when I was putting in the window, just as you asked, Mom. I was doing exactly what you intended me to do, following your directions as always. I took the super glue and spread it around the frame. The spreader it came with wouldn't spread it around enough. So I decided to use my hand. It worked a whole lot better than I thought it would. I put the window in as carefully as I possibly could. It actually looks pretty good, if I do say so myself!" Emmett said. Grandma rolled her eyes.

"Anything else?" she asked, still wondering why they were holding hands.

"OK, well after the window was installed, there was some glue coming out around the edges. I used my hand to clean it up. Jasper came in and gave me a high five for finishing so quickly."

"And he still had super glue on his hand." Jasper said rolling his eyes. I bursted out laughing.

Emmett had super-glued him and Jasper together.

"Are you trying to tell me you super-glued yourselves together?"Grandma asked in disbelief. This just caused Rosalie and Alice to laugh even louder. I could tell Alice felt bad for Jasper, but Rosalie held no remorse for Emmett or Jasper. Grandma just shook her head and went back upstairs.

"What should we do now?!" Emmett asked in a cheery voice. Jasper rolled his eyes and pulled him over to the couch where we were all seated. Rosalie and Alice sat on either side of the connected pair. I sat next to Mom, and on her other side was Dad. Jasper had been making sure their fingers weren't crossed, but now Emmett twined them together in his unbreakable grasp.

"Well, we should probably figure out how to get the glue off." Jasper said.

"Good idea! Let's see if the bottle says anything!" Emmett said excitedly, jumping up and running to the kitchen. Jasper didn't go at the same excited pace, so he was flung into the air. Emmett had ripped him off the couch, just nearly kicking Alice in the face. He was waved in the air as if he was as light as a flag. His feet created a permanent dent in the door frame as Emmett yanked him through to get the super glue. Rosalie and Alice were just shaking their heads.

"It doesn't say anything!!" Emmett whined. They came running back into the room- well, Emmett came running; Jasper was dragged. "Any ideas on how to get rid of it?" He looked at all of us questioningly.

"What are we trying to get rid of? Blondie's brain? Whoops, too late." Jacob said, coming in through the back door. He still had traces of makeup on himself from Claire's extreme makeover. And since we all had vampire sight, all of us could see it.

"The mutt wearing makeup. I knew it would happen; just a matter of time." Rosalie muttered. I shot her a look.

"Yeah, Claire ran out so I came back to steal some of yours. Hope that's OK." Jacob sat down next to me. I slapped his arm and put my hand against his cheek. _Behave!__ No more blonde jokes or I'm putting you under Claire's wrath again. _He sighed. "What are we trying to get off again?" Jake asked.

"Emmett super glued us together." Jasper said, sending a look-of-death at Emmett. Emmett just simply smiled back with his normal big, goofy, grin. "And the bottle doesn't say anything about effective ways to get it off."

"I heard pudding usually takes it off!" Jacob said sarcastically. It came out too serious though; he was still in shock that they somehow managed to glue themselves together. Of course desperate for anything, Emmett and Jasper believed him. They hopped up- Jasper able to keep up now- and ran into Esme's pantry to find pudding. She had a pantry for Jake and me. I didn't eat as many human foods as Jake did, but I still like some. I loved spaghetti and sauce, and almost anything sweet.

"Emmett, he was---"Rosalie tried to yell out before the door swung shut. "kidding." She choked out. She glared at Jacob.

"Great, now you are going to have my husband and my brother bathing themselves in chocolate pudding."

With no warning, Dad burst out laughing. We all turned to look at him. "Wow, Rosalie! That was a colorful mental picture!" He continued laughing as Alice caught on.

"Oh gosh, Rose! Were you imagining our husbands naked in a tub of pudding?!" Alice asked in disbelief. Rosalie nodded her head yes while breaking out in laughter.

They came back in with a _giant _bowl of chocolate pudding. Whoa, that is a lot of pudding. Where do you get that much?! They set the bowl on the glass table, moving everything else out of the way.

"Ready?!" Emmett asked excitedly.

"Why not? What have I got to lose?" Jasper said shrugging.

"1, 2, 3!" Emmett shouted, slamming their hands into the pudding. The pudding splattered up on impact, splashing everyone. The white couches, rug, all four of the teeny, adorable puppies, and all surrounding items now had brown slippery splotches. Carlisle had walked through the door at exactly that moment.

"What is going on here?! Emmett, Jasper why are you holding hands in a bucket of pudding? Where did you find that much pudding?" He looked around at the now pudding covered room. "Why is the outline of Jasper's feet in the doorway?!"

**THANKS FOR READING!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	31. KODAK MOMENT

**Chapter 31  
****KODAK MOMENT**

**AN:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for all the reviews!!!!  
****Did you know that last Saturday- June 20****th****- was Edward Cullen's 108****th**** birthday?!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Chapter dedicated to Mangoesaregood8 for their POV suggestion!!!  
****Don't own Twilight, KODAK, IPhone, Myspace, Facebook, Gorilla Glue, or the Internet. (Don't worry; it'll make sense later)  
****Carlisle POV**

I walk in and see two of my grown sons holding hands- in a bucket of chocolate pudding. I'm not surprised Emmett is one of them, but _Jasper_? He had always been so normal.

"What is going on here?! Emmett, Jasper why are you holding hands in a bucket of pudding? Where did you find that much pudding?" I looked around at the now pudding covered room. "Why is the outline of Jasper's feet in the doorway?!" Jasper's feet and ankles now made a permanent outline in the doorframe leading to the kitchen.

"Emmett super glued them together, Emmett flung Jasper into the door going to look for remedies on the bottle, Jacob came and joked that pudding would unglue them, Jasper and Emmett believed him, they dunked their hands in pudding, the pudding flew everywhere, and you walked in." Alice rattled off in one breath that made the words completely confusing.

"What?" I asked.

"Emmett was fixing the window for Esme. He had spread the glue around with his hand since the spreader it came with wasn't fast enough. He installed the window, and put more glue on his hands by wiping the dripping glue off. Jasper came in and gave him a high-five for finishing so quickly- resulting in the two of them being stuck together. Emmett flung Jasper into the air- and his feet through the doorframe- to get the bottle to look to see if it had any tips for getting it off. Jacob came back and joked that pudding could get it off. His voice was too serious though- still in shock that they had managed to glue themselves together- and Emmett and Jasper believed him. They went and got pudding out of Esme's pantry. No one had any idea Esme had that much pudding stored. They flung their hands into it, and the pudding splattered everywhere. That is when you walked in." Bella said in a normal speed; actually taking breaths in between sentences.

"Carlisle, do you know any ways to unglue us?" Jasper asked. It all depended on what type of glue they used.

"What glue did you use?" I asked. Emmett tossed me the bottle.

"Gorilla Glue. It is the kind Esme gave me." I looked at the bottle.

"Emmett, this is the strongest glue out there. The only way for it to come off is for the glue to wear off."

"How long does that take?" Jasper asked.

"Oh, you know. Ten, fifteen." I said.

"Hours?!" Emmett asked.

"Days?!" Jasper asked.

"Years." I finished.

"TEN OR FIFTEEN _YEARS_?!" Jasper and Emmett screamed together.

"I am not going to be stuck with him for ten or fifteen years!" Jasper said.

"Isn't there any other way?" Emmett pleaded.

"Let me see." I said holding out my hand. Emmett and Jasper put their stuck together hands in mine. I flipped it around- checking to see how much glue Emmett had gotten stuck- when there was a bright flash. I looked up and saw Rosalie holding a camera.

"I'm sorry, but how often is it that you see three grown men holding hands?" Great, now the three of us holding hands was caught on camera forever.

"Rosalie, delete that picture right now!" Jasper warned.

"Not a chance!" She said sticking her tongue out at him. Jasper was getting very angry…

"Jasper, calm down." I told him, laying my free hand on his shoulder. The camera flashed again.

"Rosalie, put that camera down before I do it myself." I warned her.

"Did Carlisle just _threaten_ someone?" Edward asked.

"My, my, I believe he did." Bella said, jokingly shaking her head at me.

"Shockingly, I'm not scared of the good doctor." Rosalie said.

"Ha, ha." I said sarcastically. And then seriously, "Can someone please get me a scalpel?"

"Carlisle, we were just kidding!" Bella, Edward, and Rosalie all screamed at the same time. "Esme, Carlisle just threatened to kill us!" Rosalie yelled up the stairs. My beautiful wife was at the foot of the stairs in the next second.

"Rose, he was kidding." Esme said, turning to look at us. Emmett and Jasper were smiling, and I was laughing. I was still holding their glued hands in mine.

"Ooohhh, KODAK moment!" Esme said, snapping a picture with Rosalie's camera. Rosalie took the camera back and looked at the picture.

"That's a really good one, Esme! It looks like they are all enjoying holding hands!" Great, now everyone- except Jasper, Emmett, and myself- was roaring with laughter.

"Don't you dare put that picture on Myspace!" Emmett told Rosalie.

"Don't worry baby; it's not going on Myspace." Rosalie told him. He let out a sigh of relief. "It's going on Facebook." She finished with a smile. She spun around and went around the corner to where we had the computers. Wonderful, within seconds the picture would be all over the Internet. About two minutes later, Rosalie was back. My IPhone vibrated in my pocket.

_Rosalie tagged 3 photos of you in the album "Family"._

_To see the photos, follow the link below:_

_Thanks,  
__The Facebook Team_

"Rosalie, you will pay for that." Jasper said. He and Emmett had also received alerts that they had been tagged.

"Em, sweetie," She said in a seductive voice, fluttering her eyebrows. "Are you going to let Jasper hurt me?" Emmett was dazed for a moment, and then he blinked and controlled himself. He turned to glare at Jasper.

"Stay away from her." He all but growled. A mischievous smile came across Jasper's face.

"Don't worry; I'll keep my distance." He said. Emmett glared at him. I needed to patch this up if they were going to be stuck together for a while.

"OK, well I figured out how to get this off." I told them. This distracted them; they both turned back to look at me.

"How?" They asked at the same time.

"The glue is thick enough that I will be able to cut through it. We can then individually peel it off of your hands. Since vampire skin can't flake, I should be able to cut the extra glue off." I said. Both their faces brightened, but I still had some bad news. "But there is bad news. I can't cut it through until it is completely dry, so it will take some time for the middle patch of glue to harden."

"How long?" Jasper sighed.

"Oh, you know, one, two."

"Minutes?!" Emmett screamed.

"Hours?!" Jasper screamed.

"Days." I finished, watching their reactions.

"DAYS?!" They screamed together.

"I'm sorry, that's the best I can do." I told them, releasing their hands. They muttered, 'Thanks' and sat back down on the couch. Alice and Rosalie followed them over and sat on either side of them.

I went over to Esme and started helping her clean up the splattered pudding. I noticed Jasper had been twirling the Gorilla Glue bottle in his hand and a drop had fallen onto his pants.

"Careful, Jasper. You have a drop of wet glue on your pants."

"I'll get it!" Emmett said.

"NO EMMETT!" We all screamed, but it was too late. Emmett swept his fingers across Jasper's leg, and across the glue. He tried to pull it up, but his hand stayed where it was.

"Oops…" Emmett said.


	32. Jasper's Pants

**Chapter 32  
****Jasper's Pants**

**AN: OK, I couldn't resist calling the chapter this! This should be very fascinating…**

**I don't own Twilight.  
****Chapter dedicated to Vampirechic666, peacelovextwilight30 for their POV suggestion!  
****Jasper POV- (this should be fun)**

I'm starting to wonder if Emmett's jokes about wanting me were serious. First, he gets us stuck together holding hands. And of course, instead of let our fingers hang straight and non touching, he had to twine our fingers in his unbreakable grasp. Second, he glued his other hand to my pants. My _pants_. We had tried to stop him, but by the time we yelled our warnings, it was too late.

"Emmett, why did you do that?" Rosalie asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Alice jumped in.

"You permanently attach yourself to my husband's pants, and your hand isn't exactly closer to Jasper's knee." Alice, why? Why, why, why? I love her, but did she really need to point that out?

"Yeah, when did you develop these desires anyway?" Bella asked.

"I didn't do it on purpose! I was trying to help Jasper and get the glue off!"

"That's a relief; I was hoping my two married uncles weren't falling in love with each other." Nessie muttered.

"Anyway…Carlisle said for Jasper to be careful because he didn't want anyone touching the glue." Rosalie said, patting Emmett on the arm.

"Luckily, this case is easier to solve than the other one." Carlisle said from the other side of the room.

"What would that be?" I asked him. I hoped it wouldn't be something embarrassing.

"Just take the pants off." Carlisle said matter-of-factly. Oh yeah, that's not embarrassing what-so-ever.

"And how am I supposed to do that while I'm still attached to Emmett?" I asked him. Emmett would most likely be doing something obnoxious if I had to take them off in front of him.

"Have Alice help you. And blindfold Emmett; we don't want him getting any funny ideas."

"Carlisle, do you really think I would come up with some funny idea while watching Jasper strip in front of me?" Emmett asked. I took my free hand and slapped him across the back of the head.

"I'm not answering that." Carlisle said leaving the room.

"Esme…" Emmett said.

"Don't even ask." She said, holding up her hand. She rolled her eyes and followed after Carlisle. I really hope they would keep it down if they went off to do things.

"Jasper, I could've lived my whole life without_ ever_ needing to see the visual I just got from you." Edward said. I rolled my eyes.

"OK, so is Alice going to help you get your pants off, or are you enjoying me holding on to them?" The king of inappropriate questions asked.

"Shut up, Emmett." Alice said. She stood up, and ran upstairs. Emmett and I were about to get up, but Rosalie stepped in front of us.

"WAIT!" She said. We froze looking up at her with curious expressions. The dreaded silver camera appeared in her hand, and before we could react, she hit the button. The flash went off, and Rosalie smiled. We rushed up the stairs before she could take any more.

"This camera was the best thing I have ever bought." We heard Rosalie say.

"Maybe you should've bought a brain instead." Jacob said. I grinned while Emmett growled. There were a couple loud _WHACKs _and we heard Jacob yell 'OW!' before Alice slammed the door closed. She took a black blindfold, and wrapped it around Emmett's eyes.

"You peek and I'm super-gluing this to your head." Alice warned. Man, I loved her. Emmett pouted. Alice helped me get the glued pants off, and slide new ones on. Emmett now had my pants dangling from his palm. I hoped he wouldn't use that to his advantage. I looked up and could tell Emmett was most definitely peeking.

"Emmett, I'm going to kill you!" Alice said, chasing after him. They of course forgot I was still attached to Emmett, and I went flying into the air. My feet crashed against the wall, scraping the wood paneling. Emmett ran down the stairs, and I was dragged down them. Emmett stopped and turned around to face Alice. He threw me in his way, hiding behind me. He knew Alice wouldn't dare hurt me, but when I stood up in front of him, Alice wasn't there. I heard her evil laugh from behind us. That worried me – she saved her evil laugh for special occasions.

"Oh, Emmett, you silly boy. Did you actually think you could beat me?" She asked. Alice was standing on the table, with an evil grin on her face. Emmett cussed under his breath.

"This cannot end well." I sighed right before Alice pounced on Emmett. He ran around, trying to shake her off. And of course, as he ran at a pace I wasn't ready for, I was yet again flung into the air like a doll. Alice was still on Emmett's back, while he tried to shake her off. I was being dragged around like a child's blanket.

After two minutes, we were suddenly hurled to the ground. I instinctively slid my free arm out, and caught Alice before she slammed to the ground. Emmett and I smacked to the ground, the house shaking in doing so. Carlisle had stopped our fight, shoving on Emmett's shoulders back. And of course brining him down, brought us all down.

"Cut it out right now!" He scolded us. Esme stood at the bottom of the stairs with a disapproving look on her face. "Emmett and Jasper go sit on the couch; Alice go sit next to Jasper and stay as far away from Emmett as possible." As we sat down on the couch, he came to stand in front of us once again.

"I know being stuck together is probably getting annoying, but you are just going to have to deal with it. You have twenty-four more hours until I can cut through it, so Esme and I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill each other." He was as calm as always, but he was using his firm voice. No one ever misbehaved while Carlisle was using his firm voice. "I'm not even going to address what happened upstairs; I don't want to hear Emmett's creative explanation for whatever went on up there." We all three nodded.

"Behave." Esme said, turning back up the stairs. Carlisle shot us a stern look and followed after her.

"Hey, Rose," Emmett said. "Can you get some scissors and help me cut Jasper's pants off my palm?" She was about to answer, but was interrupted by Alice.

"Whoa, hold up!" My Alice said. "Those are one of a kind designer pants! You are not cutting those up!" I loved Alice more than anything, but what was so important about a pair of pants?

"What am I supposed to do then?!" Emmett freaked.

"You will cut them off the same way we will take apart your hands. Final answer." When Alice made a decision about something related to fashion, we didn't disobey her. Emmett grudgingly nodded.

"What about Rose's promise?" Emmett and Rosalie both pouted. Suddenly it seemed like a light bulb went off in Emmett's mind. He turned to me with a hopeful expression. It took me a minute, and then it hit me.

"OH HELL NO!!" I shouted at him.

"We could blind fold you or something!" Emmett said.

"Once again, NO!"

"C'mon man!" He pleaded.

"Em, don't worry about it. It's only twenty-four hours." Rosalie said. Emmett sighed.

"Hey think of it this way; at least your attached to someone you actually like." Bella said. Edward agreed,

"Yeah, you could be stuck with that son-of-a-bitch Newton.


	33. Emmett and Rosalies Secret Control Panel

**Chapter 33  
Emmett and Rosalie's Secret Control Panel Thingy**

**AN: All I have to say is: Rest in Peace Farrah Fawcet and Michael Jackson. They will be missed.**

**Chapter dedicated to ieralee for their POV suggestion. Thanks to EdwardCullensMine for their help on my story!!  
****I do not own Twilight.  
****Emmett POV**

I. Will. Not. Make. It.

I still have ten hours to go until I get alone time with Rosalie. This is just cruel; Rosalie makes me an amazing promise and then something has to make it impossible! And Jasper isn't being cooperative into letting us blindfold him.

It wasn't even my fault we are glued together! Coco and Bentley broke the window, Esme gave me the super strength glue, and Jasper initiated the high-five, so I have no part in actually having this happen.

And now just for trying to help, I also had Jasper's pants attached to my other palm. Alice being the fashion obsessed pixie she is, won't let me just cut them up. It would be so easy just to tear them apart off of my hand but no! I had to leave them on until the glue hardened.

And I still had nine hours and fifty-nine minutes until Carlisle could cut the glue off.

"Emmett, it is ten hours. Stop feeling all depressed." Jasper said. We had been forced into mine and Rosalie's room. They needed to start setting up for the inauguration and party. Esme wanted us in a location crews wouldn't need to get into so they didn't think our family was crazy. We weren't normal that's for sure, but apparently Esme didn't want rumors to spread. The puppies were in here too, but Bentley and Coco were asleep and I'm not quite sure where Tuffy and Mimi were. Hmmm, maybe we should find them. Or maybe we should give them their alone time...

"What are we supposed to do while they set up? I'm bored." I whined.

"We've been in here for ten minutes, Emmett. And we are going to be in here for ten more hours."

"Correction: we have nine hours, fifty- seven minutes left."

"Whatever, but I'm not going to put up with you whining every thirty seconds. Just think of something to do!" We sat there for the next couple minutes, trying to think of something to do while locked in a room.

"I GOT IT!" I yelled, hoping off the bed. Jasper wasn't expecting the sudden movement and landed face first on the ground- while still attached to my hand.

"Dude, stop that!" He complained as he stood up.

"Sorry." I muttered. "Now I have a perfect idea." I led him over to mine and Rosalie's computer. I pressed a couple buttons- which was pretty hard with Jasper's hand and pants still attached to my hands- and the large frame on the side wall moved to the side.

"WOAH!" Jasper said, looking at the wall. Behind the large picture, was Rosalie and mine's secret area. It was a large control board that controlled the entire house. We had installed secret cameras in every room including the cottage- except Bella and Edward's room- and had tons of videos in storage. We had hundreds of useful buttons that controlled various things in the house. We also had hundreds of buttons that had no use what-so-ever but were fun to play with.

"Have you guys always had this?" He asked looking at the board. It had bunches of mini screens bordering one larger screen. They broadcasted all different views of the house.

"Since Esme remade the cottage." I asked. He better not say anything about this because of some of the things Rosalie and I had seen. Like how Edward and Bella sometimes didn't make it to their room before they went at it. One of the many reasons we didn't put a camera in their room- no one wanted or needed to ever see the things they probably did in there.

"What does this button do?' Jasper asked pointing to a big red button with his free hand.

"Don't push that!!" I yelled. He stopped right away and look at me.

"Why not?"

"You know that time you were standing by the window and it shattered? And I blamed you?"

"Yeah, and I didn't even touch it?" I pointed to the button with a guilty grin on my face. "Oh, I'm going to kill you."

"Yeah, yeah, I'd like to see you try. Anyway, you like?"

"Yeah, it's—wait. Enlarge that one. He pointed to the small screen labeled nine. I selected nine and the small picture flashed to the main screen.

It was the cottage's main living room. Jacob and Nessie were there, and Jacob had no shirt on. Nessie was in booty shorts and a tank top. Nessie was about five years old, and looked around fifteen. They were…MAKING OUT?! Yup, Jacob and Nessie were sitting on the couch- her in his lap- in a full on make-out session. Bella and Edward were nowhere to be seen

"Oh this is good. I have the perfect idea." I dragged Jasper over to the door and opened it just a crack. "ROSALIE! HELP!" I screamed out. She would've come if I yelled for her, but _I_ yelling _help_ would get her here that much faster.

And I was right. In the next two seconds she was standing next to me.

"Emmett, are you all right? Did Jasper try to seduce you or something?"

"Love you, too, sis." Jasper said. She shot him a dazzling smile.

"No, he kept his pants on this time. Look at this!" I pointed to the screen. She turned her attention to the make out session.

"Oh, this is good. If you don't mind, I must intercede." Rosalie said, running out the door. She bolted out the door, and ran through the forest. She waved to the camera just outside the door, before bursting in. And performing a perfect imitation of Eddie's angry voice, she yelled,

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!"

Nessie yelped and jumped out of Jacob's lap. Nessie breathed a sigh of relief as she saw who it was.

"Rose, don't do that! I thought you were my dad!"

"Yeah, I'd lose my head if it actually was him!"

"Why, were we doing something Edward didn't want us to do?" Rosalie asked with a huge grin across her face.

"Yup. He told me I wasn't allowed to kiss her until she was fully aged." Jacob said while Nessie slapped herself on the forehead. I guess Jacob forgot that Rosalie wasn't too fond of him. "You won't tell him though right?"

"No, of course not. Well, have fun." Rose said. Apparently they believed her, because as soon as the door closed, they went back to making out. Didn't they even think about how she knew they were doing something they weren't supposed to? Rosalie walked through the house until she found Edward. He and Bella were standing on the porch, taking tally for Alice of every shipment that came in.

"Hello, Edward. Isabella." Rose said with a mischievous grin across her face.

"Rose, what's going on?" Edward asked; and he clutched Bella closer to his side.

"I thought you might want to know that your daughter is making out with the wolf in your cottage." Both their eyes widened, and then Edward bolted through the back door. Rosalie rushed upstairs to stand behind me and watch his reaction. Edward went straight to the cottage and through the door open.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?!" They didn't stop making out; they thought it was Rose again.

"Go away, Rose. We aren't falling for it again." Ness muttered against Jacob's lips. This was too priceless.

"Maybe that would work if it actually was Rosalie and not your father." Edward warned. Nessie flew back immediately and Jacob cussed under his breath. He leaped off the couch- leaving his shirt behind- and ran past Edward. Edward chased him into the forest until they weren't in camera vision yet.

"Hey, if you have cameras in every room, did you see…" He trailed off, wondering what we have seen of him and Alice.

"Yes, indeed. That was quite interesting the other night." I said with a huge grin across my whole face. He shuddered and slapped me on the back of the head.

"Stay out of my private life!" He said. "Now go to Facebook; I want to see if anyone commented on the photo Rosalie posted."

Rosalie had to take a picture during the most awkward moment. Now the picture of Carlisle, Jasper, and I holding hands was burning up the Internet like a wildfire. Rosalie just had to upload that picture onto Facebook. Now I was getting comments on the picture too. And of course being the pervert he is, Mike Newton had to comment.

_Are all the Cullen guys going gay? Cuz if Edward is, can you ask Bella if she wants to marry me?_

So Edward obviously had to reply to that.

_Stay away from her Newton. I'm not gay and she's all mine._

Bella had to then reply as well.

_Edward, that wasn't nice. But it is very true. I love Edward, Mike._

But the most surprising comment was Carlisle.

_Michael, Bella will never love you. Get over it._

I'm assuming that Mike went and crawled in a corner and started balling his little eyes out when he read this.

**Wow, I did not expect this is how the chapter would end up. **


	34. Carlisle's Trick

**Chapter 34  
****Carlisle Trick**

**OK, from now on, I am picking a random reviewer to have the chapter dedicated to!! So this chapter is dedicated to… 0littlestar0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
I don't own Twilight.  
****Emmett POV**

"Five…four…three…two…one!" I counted down.

"CARLISLE!!!!!!!!!" Jasper and I screamed at the same time. Our time was over so we could finally being unattached and I could give my alone time with Rose!

Carlisle sauntered into the room so casually, carrying his black bag. We had set up a card table and desk lamp for him to work on.

"Hurry up, Dr. Fang. I'm sick and tired of this dude." I said, pointing to Jasper. I forgot that I still had his pants attached to my other hand and I slapped him in the face with them. Carlisle was trying to muffle his laughter. Carlisle hit the switch and the lights went down- making the table and desk lamp easier to focus on.

"OK, put your hands on the table." Carlisle said. I threw my hand down, causing Jasper to fly face first into the table.

"Rosalie isn't around here with a camera is she?" Jasper asked. I don't think anybody wanted a repeat of the Mike Newton Facebook incident.

"No, she's helping Alice figure out the seating arrangements. Plus I think Jacob might have burned the camera after Rosalie told Edward Renesmee and Jacob were making out in their cottage."

"Nope! I still have it!" Rosalie screamed from downstairs, followed by an evil laugh.

"Emmett, I usually don't ask you to flaunt your relationship- you usually do that by yourselves-, but would you mind making Rosalie forget she has that camera?" Carlisle whispered.

"No problem, doc." I said with my big goofy grin across my face. Carlisle started looking at our hands, flipping them around like he did a day ago.

"Hmm…ahhhh…hmmm" Carlisle muttered.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Well, the glue is rock hard. I could've probably cut it apart ten hours ago." He said, biting his lip.

"WHAT?!" We both screamed. He was now shaking with laughter.

"Then why did you make us stay attached?!" I wailed.

"Because Esme thought it would be a good bonding experience for you two." He said.

"And do you always have to listen to everything Esme says?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, she is my wife." Carlisle said.

"Whipped." I coughed. He glared at me.

"Can I have my scalpel please?" He asked Jasper. Jasper reached into his bag and pulled it out. Carlisle took it, and set our hands sideways on the table. He stuck the knife into the glue, and started cutting through the glue. It made a sawing sound as he dragged the knife back and forth along the length of our hands.

"Wow, Emmett, how much glue did you get stuck in here?" Carlisle asked. He put down the small scalpel and stood up. "I'll be right back. I need to get something." He said with a smirk. Before we could ask what was going on, the door was snapping shut behind him.

"This cannot possibly end well." Jasper muttered, shaking his head. About three minutes later, the door swung open. The hallway was now pitch black. But Carlisle was nowhere in sight.

A tall, dark figure appeared in the doorway. They were wearing a high collared blood red and black cape over black pants, a maroon vest, and white shirt. Their hair was spiked and slick. They were wearing white gloves and black shoes. And in his left hand was a large chef's knife.

The light flickered on, and I let out an amazing loud shriek of horror.

A scary monster was standing there with blood red streaks down their pale face. The knife was pointed with its blade towards Jasper and I. The stranger was here to kill. I continued my shriek at the top of my lungs. Jasper was trying to calm me to no avail.

"Emmett! Stop screaming!" Jasper put his hand on my shoulder and shook me. "It's just Carlisle!" He screamed at me. After a minute of staring at the scary monster, I realized it was Carlisle -who was now doubled-over with laughter.

"THAT WASN'T NICE!" I whined. He had pretty much given me a silent-heart attack.

"I'm sorry, Emmett. Alice saw that it would work and I couldn't resist." He was once again laughing. He took the cape, vest, and gloves off. He ran his hand through his hair a couple times to smooth down the spike. Jasper extended his fist and Carlisle bumped his against it.

"Nice work. I'm surprised you got changed so quickly- even with vampire speed." Jasper said grinning.

"You knew?!" I accused him. A mischievous smile spread across his face.

"Alice had that vision about a week ago. Crystal clear. And she of course told me." Stupid vampire soul mates.

"Carlisle, just pick up your scalpel and get back to work!" I whined. I wanted to be with Rosalie.

"Why do you think I have one of Esme's knives? If I use the scalpel, we could be here for hours. I got the chef knife because it will be faster." He sat back down at the table and began cutting. In about ten minutes, our hands finally separated!

"WOO HOO!!" I screamed, dancing around the room. Carlisle had also cut away Jasper's pants, which were back in the safe hands of the shopping obsessed pixie. I was about to run out to Rosalie when Carlisle and Jasper threw me back onto mine and Rosalie's bed just as I got to the door.

"Emmett, you still have a mound of glue on your hand that I need to cut off." Carlisle said sitting me down at the table. Jasper's hands were already cleared, and he was running out the door to be with Alice. Lucky ducky.

"Emmett, Jasper is going to get ready for Angela's party. Which is exactly what you will be doing when I get this glue off." Carlisle said. He was using the small scalpel to shred the glue off. I couldn't feel pain on my hand since I was so strong, so I just watched Carlisle work.

"What?! You mean I spend twenty-four unnecessary hours glued to Jasper- without Rose- and I have to wait again to get along time with her?!" I freaked. I was counting on bailing as soon as I could to have some private time with Rose.

"Emmett, you've done it before when the girls go on their annual shopping trip to Paris. The only reason this is any different is because you can see her. You'll be fine." He patted me on the shoulder and set the scalpel down. "All done."

"Hey boys." Rosalie's wind-chime voice said from the doorway. She came over to me and put her hands on my shoulders after hearing our conversation. "Don't worry about that, Carlisle; we'll clean it up later. But we need to get changed right now, so you need to get out." She said, her perfect smile flashing across her face. He took his bag and left. I wrapped my arms around Rosalie.

"I miss not being able to do this." I told her, kissing her neck. She laughed and pushed me away.

"Not now, Em. Tonight, after the party. We need to get changed." She took my hand and we went and got changed in the closet. "By the way, I'm proud of you. You made it through twenty-four hours attached to Jasper without losing your mind." She said while we were getting changed.

* * *

We were finally changed. We had billed the event as semi-formal, so I wore and suit, and Rosalie wore a cocktail length dress. It went to the middle of her thigh and was tight all the way up her beautiful body. It was black, which made her white skin look like heaven. There were white square outlines going up one side, framing her magnificent curves. She wore tall red pumps. Rose took my hand and took me downstairs. Everyone was waiting for us and the guests to arrive. The house was completely redecorated, not even resembling our house but more like the ultimate banquet hall. Everyone was dressed up, somewhat like us.

All the dudes were in suits. Bella had on a loose hanging deep blue dress. The straps and band around her waist were satin. Alice had on a ruby red dress that went to her knees. It was strapless and sparkly, with a satin belt around the waist. Esme was wearing a satin two piece brown dress- a tea-length dress with a matching shrug.

"Everyone ready to party?!" I yelled.

**Sorry for the suckish ending; I couldn't think of anything else. I put pictures of the dresses and Carlisle's costume in my profile. Please don't look at Angela's dress until I post next chapter! I found it so I decided to do it when I was posting the others!!**

**Purty please review!!! If you do, you might get a chapter dedicated to you!!!**


	35. Michael Newton BONUS

**Chapter 35- BONUS  
****Michael Newton**

**AN: Haha, a bonus chapter, but I just had to do it. Thank you to EdwardCullensMine's help on this chapter!! Go check out her story **_**Nessie Runs Away**_**!!!!**

**Chapter dedicated to reviewer…vampbooklover3000!!!!!!!!  
****I don't own Twilight or Popsicle or Facebook.  
****Mike Newton POV **

I came home from lunch with Jessica and her Polish cousin, Bolek. It apparently meant 'large glory'. My imagination ran wild as usual and I could only begin to imagine what that could describe. It's not that I don't like Bolek, he's just…awkward. He was flirting the entire time, but I couldn't tell if he was flirting with Jessica, or me.

I still love Jessica, although I would prefer to be with the amazing Isabella Swan. She is so perfect, but the jerk Cullen got her. She only married him for the looks and the money. I'm just as good looking as he is. I am probably even better looking.

I parked my car in the driveway, and went up to my front door. I took the key out from the eave and unlocked the door. I had heard a rumor that is where Bella kept her key at Chief Swan's house, so I started keeping mine there. I didn't tell Jess I kept it there, plus she had her own key.

I hung my raincoat up and went to my computer. I turned it on and got a grape Popsicle while I waited for it to load. I finished my Popsicle and threw the stick in the high cupboard. I kept every single Popsicle stick I ever ate. I walked back over to the computer and closed all the little pop-up windows. I checked my email, and saw I had an alert from Facebook.

_Rosalie Hale has posted 3 pictures in her album called: Family._

_Please go to this link to view the pictures:_

_Thank you,  
The Facebook Team_

Family! Maybe they are pictures of Bella! I quickly selected the link and waited for the window to load.

They weren't of Bella. They were of Emmett, Jasper, and Doctor Cullen. They were holding hands, and in different poses! One had Emmett and Jasper smiling at the camera, one was them all holding hands, and the last was all three holding hands and Carlisle's hand holding Jasper's shoulder. I decided to comment on that one.

_Are all the Cullen guys going gay? Cuz if Edward is, can you ask Bella if she wants to marry me?_

I posted. I hoped Jessica didn't see that or she might be mad at me. The front door opened.

"Mike, I'm here." Jessica yelled. I quickly minimized the Facebook window and walked to the front hall.

"Hey, Jess." I said.

"Hey, Mike." I leaned in to kiss her, but she froze. "Yuck, your breath smells like grape Popsicle! How many of those do you have to eat?!"

"I don't eat them that often!" I tried to defend myself.

"Michael, you have an addiction! I'm thinking about submitting you to Pospicle-aholics anonymous!" She threw her hands up in the air. "I'm going to go watch Oprah." She said walking into the family room. I went back to the computer and reopened the Facebook window. There were three more comments on the picture from Edward, BELLA!!, and Dr. Cullen. The first was from Edward.

_Stay away from her Newton. I'm not gay and she's all mine. _Yeah, yeah, you wait and see Cullen. Bella responded after that.

_Edward, that wasn't nice. But it is very true. I love Edward, Mike. _She totally just married him for the sex!

That was when Dr. Carlisle Cullen made a much unexpected comment.

_Michael, Bella will never love you. Get over it. _I stared at the screen in shock, and I felt my rejection tears welling up inside my eyes. A hand slapped me on the back of my head. I turned around and say a furious Jessica glaring at me.

"YOU JERK! ARE YOU TWO-TIMING ME?! YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE OVER YOUR PRECIOUS OBSESSION!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!" She hit me on the back of the head with her purse. "I'M LEAVING!" She screamed, and stormed out of the house.

I pulled out the framed photo of Bella I had hidden in my drawer. I stared at her beautiful face.

"Well, at least I will always have you." And I kissed her full lips.


	36. Partay!

**Chapter 36  
****Partay!**

**AN: HOLY JASPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE PAST 500 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!!!!**

**OK, I forgot to describe Nessie's dress two chapters ago, but I described it this chapter and posted the link in my profile. All the dresses can be found at Jessica McClintock!!! (Well, except for the puppies' outfits- but those are in my pro too!)**

**Chapter dedicated to reviewer…Robinhoodfan13!!!!  
****I don't own Twilight.  
****Jasper POV- for everyone who has been asking :)**

I came down the stairs holding hands with Alice. It felt so good to finally be able to touch her without Emmett being attached to me. She looked absolutely stunning, and her excitement was through the roof. Emmett and Rosalie were just coming downstairs. Carlisle had been smart not to pry us apart until after the party, or they wouldn't even be making an appearance at the party. Everyone was in the same matter of clothes as us, but all the girls' dresses were different. All the guys were wearing ties to match the color of the girls' dresses. But Nessie and Jake were nowhere to be seen.

The puppies came running up the path. Well, Bentley came flying, but he almost never walked now a days. For some reason, he always likes landing on top of my head. Mimi and Coco were dressed in little purple party dresses, and Tuffy and Bentley were wearing little tuxes. Alice squeezed my hand.

"Aren't they cute?! I found the outfits when I went shopping last week and I just _had_ to buy them!"

"Yes, Alice, they are very cute." I told her with a smile. She started hopping up and down. "Alice, can you please try to calm down? I'm about to tip over from the excitement you are sending at me." She laughed her silvery little laugh.

"Sorry, Jazz. I'm just so excited to see everyone!" I wrapped my arm around her waist to control her jumping.

"Eddie, where are Nessie and Jacob?" Emmett asked. Edward shot him a death glare at the nickname.

"Don't call me that." He growled. "Nessie is coming up the path now." He said, pointing towards the path leading to the cottage. Nessie came into view a few seconds later. She was wearing a light blue strapless bubble dress with a white swirly design. It had a satin blue ribbon around the waist, and she was wearing black Jimmy Choo's. Oh my gosh, I am brainwashed. I cannot believe I was able to tell the label of shoes she is wearing. This is what I get for letting Alice teach me the different brands of shoes.

Edward had his hand over his mouth trying to contain his laughter. Stupid mind reader.

"Where's Jacob?" Esme asked Nessie.

"Why do we care? The more he's gone the less of a stench we get in here." Rosalie said. I can see her feelings for him have warmed up since the bonding time.

"Rose!" Nessie yelled. Rosalie shrugged it off. Nessie turned to Esme. "He had to get home to get changed. He left his suit at his house."

"Ness, I heard you and Jacob had a good time in the cottage today." Emmett said, winking. She blushed.

"Shut up, Em." Nessie said, throwing a pillow at his head. Emmett ducked and the pillow smacked Jacob in the face as he was walking in. He stumbled back since it was thrown at vampire strength, and tripped on the stairs. He fell down the stairs, and did a flip as his head collided with the ground. Everyone was hysterical except for Nessie. Nessie's eyes widened and her hands flew up to cover her shocked expression. Jacob fell back into the dirt on his stomach. He rolled over onto his back and stood up groaning.

"I'm happy to see I'm so welcome." Jacob said, rolling his eyes and rubbing his head.

"You are always welcome here, Jacob." Esme said.

"No, you actually aren't mongrel." Rosalie said.

"Jacob! You got dirt on your outfit!" Alice scolded him.

"Don't worry, I'm fine!" Jacob said.

"No one asked." Rosalie said rolling her eyes.

"I don't know, Jacob. Nessie was the one who threw the pillow. Maybe she's a little pissed at you." Emmett said. He really was endangering his own life.

"Emmett, stop." Esme said, handing Jacob a towel. Our towel use has to have least quadrupled since Jacob has been coming here. He was always getting dirt or blood on himself. It could also be in part of Rosalie 'accidentally' spilling things on him all the time.

"OOH!! ANGELA'S HERE!" My wife screamed. I let some of her energy seep out of me, and everyone was suddenly as excited as she was. Well, I don't think_ as_ excited- that's not even possible. Alice let go of my hand and ran to open the door for Angela. Before Angela even had time to ring the doorbell, Alice flung the door open and pulled her into a tight embrace. Angela was followed by Mr. and Mrs. Weber and Ben Cheney. He looked exactly the same he did in high school.

Angela was wearing a strapless satin dress in teal. It had a ruched top and a crisscross pattern along her waist. Her hair was piled into a soft bun at the top of her head. She really had matured these past five years. Ben came up next to her and took her hand.

"Alice, thank you so much. For everything. I am so excited!" Angela said.

"Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for hosting this." Angela said.

"It is our pleasure." Esme said, gently hugging Angela. Angela spotted Nessie and cocked her head to the side.

"Oh, hello. I don't believe we've met. I'm Angela." Angela said, holding out a hand.

"It's very nice to meet you. I'm Nessie- Edward's cousin." Nessie said, shaking Angela's hand and smiling. We had decided to play her as Edward's cousin because she looked very much like Edward. I couldn't tell why Nessie was happy- either because she was meeting Bella and Edward's friends for the first time, or because she was allowed to call her parents by their first names.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you as well." Angela said. Ben held out his hand.

"I'm Ben." The only prominent difference between him and his high school self was that he had a deeper voice. I wonder if he was still obsessed with comic books.

Alice led everyone out to the backyard where they had set everything up. There was a dance floor under a large canopy. Flowers lined the polls on all sides. Flowers were extended along every surface, and the tables had lilac bouquets in the middle. The chairs surrounding each of the tables were finished with a white bow. The tables were lining the sides on the dance floor, and a DJ station set on the edge of the grass.

"It's perfect!" Angela shrieked. Alice came back to my side and I wrapped my arm around her tiny waist.

"Alice, who's the DJ?" I asked. She looked around through the trees.

"Jacob, where is he?" She asked. Jacob did the same thing Alice just did- but Alice was much cuter when she did it.

"Dude, get out here." He yelled. There was a rumbling in the trees, and we all turned to see Seth in a suit emerging from the forest.

"Another one?! Geez, how many wolves are going to be here?!" Rosalie hissed under her breath so no one besides us could hear.

"He was the only DJ I could find." Alice whispered back shrugging. "I bribed him with thirty bucks and I promised to feed him." She turned to Rosalie. "They are the only two coming." Rosalie rolled her eyes, but I could tell by her emotions that she calmed down.

"Aww, who are these little fellas?" Angela asked spotting the puppies clustered on the dance floor. Alice brought her over to them.

"This is Tuffy, Amira- but we call her Mimi, Coco, and Bentley." Alice said, pointing out each of the little puppies. Angela bent down and petted Tuffy. His tail was wagging crazily.

"Hello! You are the cutest little things." She said. Emmett- in one of his crazy experiments- had taught the puppies not to bite people. He had used Jacob for a tester without telling him what was going on. That required another one of Esme's towels when Bentley didn't listen and bit Jacob on the nose. Although that was quite funny, there was a lot of stinky smelling blood.

The doorbell rang again, as Edward shook his head back and forth.

"This is going to be good." He said at vampire volume. Alice skipped off to let everyone in.

**Edward POV **

Alice literally danced over to the door to let everyone in. I was desperately praying no one was as observant as Angela- she had thought Nessie looked incredibly similar to Bella and me. We had played that she is my cousin, since Nessie and I's alikeness is most prominent.

"Come one in!" Alice squealed. She always got way too much into these large events. A flurry of people came through the backdoor, led by Alice. Charlie came in and came over to talk to Bella. We reminded him how we are referring to Nessie, and then he went off to talk to other people. The last two people in this group were Michael Newton and Jessica Stanley. Jessica was giving Mike the cold shoulder. Take that Newton!

"C'mon Jess, talk to me." Newton was pleading.

_God, would he leave me alone! I do not want to talk to him since I found out he is still obsessed with Bella! She better not be more beautiful than me, but I'm sure I aged much more beautifully. _As if anybody could be as beautiful as my Bella.

_I wanna see Bella! I wanna see Bella! I wanna see Bella! I'm sure she is just as pretty as she was in high school! _I was now ready to murder Newton, but Jasper felt anger and sent me a fresh wave of calm.

"Thanks, bro." I whispered under my breath. He nodded his head at me.

_Please don't kill him. Alice would be kinda mad if you got blood on your suit. _Jasper told me. I chuckled under my breath.

"What?" Bella asked.

"Jasper." I said. She smiled her fantastic smile. "Look at the last two people in the group coming in." She looked, and smiled wider, flashing her dazzling teeth.

"This should be good." She laughed. They turned in our direction, so I lifted my hand and motioned for them to join us. I just wanted to see their reaction to Bella's even more exquisite figure.

As Bella came into view for them, they both froze and their mouths dropped wide open. Jessica quickly recollected herself, but Mike was frozen staring at my Bella. I squeezed her to my side tighter. Jessica tugged on Mike's form until he finally snapped out of his reverie. They walked over to us, not making any physical contact.

"Hello, Jessica, Michael. Thank you so much for joining us tonight." I said. Bella leaned in to me and I twisted to see Newton staring at her.

_Whoa…_ Jessica thought.

_Bella's freaking hot! But Edward looks like he wants to eat me._ Newton thought. He wasn't that far off, except I would never drink his blood. I would never want that vile stuff inside of me.

"H…h…hi." Jessica stuttered out.

"Hey, guys. It's nice to see you." My angel sang in her beautiful voice. Their mouths dropped open and stared at Bella.

_SHE IS SO SEXY!!! I HADN'T THOUGHT THAT SHE COULD GET ANY HOTTER FROM HIGH SCHOOL, BUT I WAS WRONG!!! SHE SO MUCH RATHER BELONGS WITH ME THAN THAT IDIOT CULLEN!!_ Newton screamed in his mind. Bella saw my frustration and put a hand on my shoulder.

"What have you guys been up to?" Jessica asked.

"Not much, just the usual stuff." Bella said, winking at Mike. I understood exactly what she meant, so I twisted her so she was leaning against my chest and my hands were folded across her stomach. Jessica was green with envy and Mike was watching where my hands were. I purposely moved them farther down as he was watching.

_I wonder how often they…go at it. Man, I would love to get in bed with him. _Jessica thought. I was getting nauseated- the mental pictures were far worse than the sentences.

_Eddie-Pooh!!!!_ Emmett thought- yelled from behind me. I turned around and looked at Emmett and Jasper standing next to each other. Emmett was grinning triumphantly that he got my attention.

_Feeling a little pissed, are we?_ Jasper asked grinning. I turned back to Jessica and Mike, sliding my hand around Bella's stomach as I did.

"Everything OK, baby?" Bella asked. I looked down at her and gave her a kiss on the neck.

"Yes, everything is fine, but Jasper and Emmett would like to see us." I told her.

"It was lovely talking to you again." Bella said to Jessica and Newton. She twisted in my arms and I slid my arm around her waist. I squeezed her tight to me. We walked over to Emmett and Jasper, Mike and Jessica still staring after us.

"Thanks, guys." I told them shuddering as I remembered the mental pictures they were sending out.

"Nice work, guys." Rosalie said coming over. Emmett slipped his arm around her waist. "Mike and Jessica's faces were priceless." We laughed as Bella and I remembered the mortified look on their faces.

"Rosalie!!" We heard Alice yell as vampire speed, and volume. Rosalie rolled her eyes and walked over to join her.

"How is Alice enjoying hosting?" Bella asked Jasper.

"She is oozing excitement. Quite a weird combination- Edward's anger and annoyance, and Alice's excitement- I was feeling like an emotion blender."

"Does it taste good?" Emmett asked. _He did say blender, and you put food in a blender. Oh! That's what we should have at our next party! A smoothie bar! _I honestly sometimes wonder if his mother ever dropped him on his head when he was human.

"What?" Jasper asked. Bella understood and was laughing along with me.

"You make smoothies in a blender. And according to humans, they taste good. So I was wondering if your emotion blender tastes good." Bella placed her hand on the side of my face and pushed her shield out of her so I could read her mind. She usually did this when she needed to ask me a question. She had spent many hours practicing so it wasn't as difficult when she first tried.

_Does he realize he is asking Jasper if he tastes good? _She snapped her shield back, and I heard her exhale as she did. I thought back over what he said and realized she was right. Bella and I looked into each other's eyes, and then started hysterically laughing.

"What?!" Jasper and Emmett said at the same time.

"Jasper, think over the last couple sentences." I said. Jasper thought them over, and comprehension flicked on his face. He smacked Emmett in the back of the head and walked over to Alice.

"I still don't get it." Emmett said walking away. I shook my head.

Jacob came up to Bella and me, dragging along a nerd. He had a flannel shirt with denim cropped overalls, high socks, sandals, and big, round glasses. He had a big goofy grin on his face. He waved at us.

"I found Tommy!" Jacob exclaimed pointing to Tommy's head. He had a giant grin on his face.

"Yay?" I asked, and walked away with Bella.

**Emmett POV**

I grabbed the mike and ran on the little stage Alice had set up. I tried saying 'hello' into it, but no one except the vampires were paying attention.

"HEY!!" I screamed into the microphone. Everyone jumped, and turned to pay attention to me.

"Behave or I will personally tear you limb for limb." Alice hissed under her breath.

"Hello everybody. Now that I finally have your attention, I would like to make a few announcements before the ceremony begins. Is that cool with everyone?"

"No!" Jasper and Edward yelled from the back.

"Thank you for your support." I said. _Take that! _"First, I am Emmett Cullen. On behalf of all of the Cullens, we would like to welcome you to our little shin ding." Esme now had her face in her hands. "We are joined here today to celebrate the service of the outgoing governor of Kalamawazza, and the inauguration of the incoming governor."

"You sound like you are ministering a wedding." Edward heckled under his breath.

"We will start with the ceremony, and then move on to the partay!" I said. Seth was hiding behind his DJ station, so I decided to publicly embarrass him.

"Oh, before I forget!" I laughed to myself at the joke- like I would forget! "We would like to thank our friend Seth Clearwater for DJing this event. Seth stand up and wave!" _If he doesn't stand up make him stand!_ I yelled to Eddie. I held out my hand to where he was hiding, and he slowly stood up. "Can we have a nice round of applause for him?!" I asked the crowd. There were some quiet claps, but not nearly as much as I wanted. "If you don't clap, we won't feed you." I bribed. Jacob was the first to start clapping- quite loudly, I might add-, and the applause was soon deafening to any human here.

"STOP!" I screamed into the mike. The applause stopped. I smiled to myself. "Now we would like to begin the inauguration ceremony." The sooner we start, the sooner it is party time. "Would the secretary of Kalamawazza- Mr. Alprmunifuz-, the outgoing governor- Mr. Lewinkos-, and the incoming governor- Miss. Weber- please come forward." These people needed to get normal names! They walked forward and stepped on stage. Angela looked really nervous, and the Lewinkos guy was a HUGE nerd.

"First off, we would like to thank Mr. Lewinkos for his dedication and honor to the people of Kalamawazza. Do you have any reason why Miss. Angela Weber should not assume your position as governor?

"Thank you for those kind words, Mr. Cullen. With great honor, I bestow

"I will read the script now, as Mr. Alprmunifuz holds the Bible for Miss. Weber."

"Emmett, behave or your Jeep will be swimming with the little river fishies." Alice hissed under her breath.

"I'm sure your itty bitty Porsche would love meeting the whales in the ocean too." I hissed back.

"My Porsche loves whales thank you very much." She hissed back.

"Children, knock it off! Emmett, continue and try to act somewhat normal." Carlisle whispered.

"Miss. Weber, please place your left hand on zee Bible and raise your right hand in zee air." And wave it like you just don't care! Ha ha, I crack myself up! Esme glared at me for the 'zee' thing, so I smiled a huge smile at her. She rolled her eyes. I turned back to the ceremony.

"Do you take the responsibility to lead and govern Kalamawazza on yourself? Do you agree to put the people first, and lead with their best interests in mind? Do you give yourself and talents to the people and for the people?" I smiled a huge smile at Angela, daring her to say 'no'. She flinched back, so I made my smile bigger.

"Yes, I accept responsibility as the leader to the people of Kalamawazza." OK, this script is weird! Well, that is to be expected of a town called Kalamawazza.

"Congratulations, Miss. Weber." Cheers erupted throughout the crowd. Angela hugged Ben and her parents.

"Now, that all the fancy-schmancy stuff is over- it's time to partay!" I screamed into the microphone. I chucked it at Seth, who luckily caught it before it smacked him in his head.

"OK, let's get some music going, and have some dinner." Seth said. He turned up some music, and people fled out of one big group. Some went to the buffet, and some went to the dance floor. I walked over to Alice and held up a hand for a high five. She stared at it disgusted. I checked to make sure there was nothing on it- nope, all clean!

"You are _so_ lucky Angela doesn't have vampire hearing." Alice said before storming off. Well, she is in a good mood. Carlisle and Esme were standing off to the side, heads close together, talking. I used my vampire amazingness and listened in.

"Why did you pick him anyway?" Esme asked.

"Jasper, Emmett, and i were playing truth or dare. I had originally asked Jasper to do it, but Emmett dared him to give him the honors."

"So why didn't you take it away? I know the boys won't back out on a dare, but you could have taken the power away."

"Emmett told me that if I didn't listen, he would pay Rosalie to give me a flash show." Esme cringed and wrapped her hand tighter around Carlisle's. I smiled to myself since they didn't know I was listening. I walked over to them.

"Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy!" I said. Carlisle rolled his eyes and Esme shook her head.

"Hello, Emmett." Carlisle said in his formal voice.

"So how'd I do? Awesome, right?"

"Emmett, you are so lucky Angela doesn't have vampire hearing." Esme said.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?!" I threw my hands up in frustration. They shook their heads yet again. I turned around and walked over to Rosalie. She was writing a song down on the song request sheet. I slipped my arm around her waist and kissed her neck.

"I cannot wait for this party to be over." I whispered in her ear. She giggled.

"Me, too." She put the pen down and turned around in my arm. I looked over her shoulder to see what suggestion she had written down, but she placed her hand over my eyes. "Nope, it's a surprise." She said. She released my eyes and moved me away from the table. A slow dance started over the loud speakers, so I took her into my arms and spun her onto the dance floor. We kissed while we dance. The song came to the end, and I placed a kiss on her shoulder. A new song flowed onto the speakers. I recognized the melody.

Barbie Girl.

"EEEEEP!!!" Someone shrieked from the grass. We turned to see Amsden holding his head in his hands and running out the door screaming like a little girl. I turned back to Rosalie who had a huge grin on her face.

"I love you." I told Rosalie.

**Purty please review!! I'll give you a cookie if you do!!**


	37. Elevator

**Chapter 37  
****Elevator**

**Wanna know when you have a lot of chapters? When you need to log onto fan fiction to find out what number you are on. Plus, when your space key is broken and you're typing a chapter- ANNOYING! (Thanks to EdwardCullensMine for idea for this chapter!!)**

**Dedicated to my first ever reviewer- overloyalbuddy!!!!!!!!  
****I don't own Twilight.  
****Edward POV**

"Thank you so much for coming!" Esme was saying, ushering some couple out of the house. She closed the door behind them and rolled her eyes secretly. I smiled at her and she came to stand next to Bella and I. "Only four left." She said at vampire volume. Angela, Ben, Mr. Weber, and Mrs. Weber were the only people left. But they were just saying goodbye, so this would soon be over.

_Let's go! I know you don't have vampire speed or anything, but really, you are SLOW! _Emmett thought. He was so impatient- he wanted to go spend time alone with Rosalie. Most of us would be fine with having no alone time for twenty-four hours, but this is Emmett we are talking about. Angela came over to Bella and hugged her.

"It was so good to see you again. Thank you so much for doing this for me." She told Bella and Esme.

"Of course." Esme said hugging her. They said their final goodbyes and walked out the front door. Carlisle left along with them, having to go to work.

"FINALLY!" Emmett said, running over to Rosalie. As they were halfway up the stairs, Esme yelled out.

"STOP!" She yelled. They turned around and stared at her.

"Not so fast! It is time for your punishment." She said. I had heard what she was going to make them do, and boy was this good.

"What did I do wrong?" Emmett asked. _I mean I don't always make the smartest decisions, but what did I do this time?_

"You, Jasper, and Jacob must be punished for covering my house with pudding."

"What did I do?!" Jacob freaked. _I wasn't the one who stuck my hand in a tub of pudding!_

"You gave them the idea. Now, your punishment will be a bonding experience with each other." She said. This would be the worst-Esme knew none of us liked her 'bonding' punishments.

_Bonding time with Rosalie- good. Bonding time with Jasper and Jacob- AWFUL!_ Emmett thought.

_Great, I get super glued to him and I have to spend even more time with him! _Jasper.

_Ewwwwww! Stinky smelling people!_ Jacob.

"I have called a local business, and you will be spending the time in one of their elevators. You will stay in there until I come and get you." Emmett, Jasper, and Jacob groaned. "Any questions?" I raised my hand.

"Yes, Edward, my well-behaved son?"

"Are Bella and I allowed to leave?" I asked.

"In a moment." She said. "Do any of the trouble makers have questions?" Emmett came to stand in front of her holding his wallet.

"Alright, Esme, how much do you want? I can also write you a check if I don't have the cash on hand." He pulled out his checkbook and a pen, and pointed the pen at the paper, ready to write the amount she said. Esme reached her hand out and took the pen. She tossed it onto the table.

"No, you may go change into other clothes, but come down here immediately. Girls, I would like you to stay down here." Esme said. Emmett pouted and ran up to change. Seconds later, the three of them were back in jeans and T-shirts.

"Go drive yourselves to this address, and don't leave until I come to tell you you can leave." Esme said. She handed Emmett a piece of paper. He huffed and followed Jasper and Jacob out.

"HAVE FUN!" Bella called. I heard Emmett growl, but ignored it. Bella and I looked to Esme and she nodded. I grabbed Bella's hand and we sped out the back door.

**Jasper POV- for Randomness11 (ha! I fixed my space key!!)**

Great, after spending two days stuck to Emmett-with no alone time with Alice- I get to spend time with Emmett and Jacob. Well won't this just be as fun as going to an amusement park!

Emmett chucked the keys of the Jeep at my head. Usually, he would insist on driving but he had a mischievous smile across his face so I was better off not knowing.

"Jacob, go ahead and sit in the passenger seat. I'll sit in the back." Emmett said. There is no possible way that this will result in anything good. We got in the car and sped out the long driveway. There was a lot of ruckus coming from the back.

"What is going on back there?" I asked.

"OK, I have a few ideas, but for the next couple minutes, you guys can't look back here."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Because I'm about to get kinda naked, so unless you wanna see the amazing show back here, I suggest you keep your eyes on the road." Jacob and I both shuddered, and kept our eyes on the road for the rest of the trip. I parked the car, and we got, waiting to see what Emmett was up to.

Emmett stepped out of the Jeep wearing a full gray silk suit and carrying a very large black leather briefcase. His hair was slicked back, and he had a red tie and pocket hanky.

"Gentlemen." He said, straightening his tie. He walked ahead of us into the building.

"Emmett Cullen, Jasper Hale, and Jacob Black?" A man asked from behind a desk.

"Yes, sir. What can we do for you on this fine day?" Emmett asked.

"Umm…follow me. I have instructions from your mother." He said, walking around a corner. We followed him, and he opened the door for us. "This is the elevator you will be in. Other people will be riding in this, so make room for them when they come on. Behave." He said looking at Emmett. Wow, Esme really did give him instructions.

"Thank you, sir. Have a lovely day." Emmett said with a bow. We walked into the elevator and the doors closed behind us.

"Well, this should be interesting." Jacob muttered. Jacob and I leaned against one of the sides, and pushed the button for the top floor. Emmett went and stood directly in the center of the doors, as close as possible without leaning on them.

"What are you doing Emmett?" I asked. "Can't you just act normal during this boring experience?"

"Don't worry; you won't be bored for long." He said with a wink. The elevator paused, and the doors slowly opened. Emmett leaned forward with a huge grin on his face. The doors opened all the way, to reveal a petite lady staring at her phone. She looked up and shrieked.

"Excuse me." She said, her voice trembling.

"Certainty." Emmett said. He stepped to the side, and the small girl hurriedly scurried through. "Can I push the button for you?" He asked.

"Sure- fifteen please." She said. Emmett walked over to the button panel and pushed thirteen. "I said fifteen." She corrected him. Emmett pushed fourteen. "Fifteen." She pressed.

"I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN!" Emmett whined, stomping his feet. He turned around and smacked the fifteen. "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!" He screamed at the girl. She cowered back, so I sent out calm waves to get Emmett to relax.

The elevator continued to rise, stopping at thirteen, fourteen, and finally fifteen. The small girl ran out of the elevator.

"Emmett, aren't we supposed to be acting normal?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, two vampires and one werewolf being forced to spend time with each other in punishment since they splattered chocolate pudding around the house trying to unglue two hands, starts out normal." Emmett snapped back. He had a point there.

The elevator stopped again, and a tall man came on. He pressed number twenty-five and stood towards the back of the elevator. Emmett was staring right at him. Feeling the eyes on him, the man turned to Emmett.

"Can I do something for you?" He asked.

"I must find a more suitable host body." Emmett answered in a possessed voice. The doors reopened and the man quickly exited. I shook my head at Emmett. He smiled proud of himself. He unlatched the briefcase and removed a small blue blanket. He snapped the briefcase closed and clutched the blanket protectively in his hands as the doors reopened. The man coming onto the elevator widened his eyes, and pressed the button. He stepped back to the very far wall. He eyed the blanket in Emmett's hands.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY BLANKIE!" Emmett screamed at him. He cowered into the corner, and as soon as the doors opened to his floor, he bolted. The doors closed again. A few stops later, we reached the top floor, so Jacob hit the '1' button and we started towards the bottom floor.

"Emmett, please knock it off." I told him. "Esme is going to kill you even further if she finds out about this."

"Take a chill pill, Emotion Blender." He hissed. I rolled my eyes. The elevator stopped again, and the doors slowly parted. A group of five men in suits entered, all talking about some meeting they had just came from. One of the men hit the '20' button. Emmett shook hands with all of them.

"It's very nice to see you. Please call me Mr. Bobalooekito." He said. The five men glanced at each other, and then came to stand towards the back of the elevator.

Emmett unlatched the briefcase once again, and pulled out a piece of chalk. He drew a white box around him on the floor. He cleared his throat until the businessmen looked over at him.

"THIS IS MY PERSONAL SPACE BOX. NO ONE IS TO ENTER OR COME NEAR ME OR MY PERSONAL SPACE BOX. THE BOX'S NAME IS OLIVER AND I EXPECT YOU TO ADDRESS HIM IN THAT WAY." Emmett said loudly. His volume was deafening. The businessmen looked at him like a freak, and when the elevator doors opened, they quickly exited.

"Emmett, why are you doing this?" Jacob asked. He ignored him and looked up at the screen above the buttons. It said that the next stop would be two floors down. Emmett took the briefcase and slid it behind Jacob's legs.

"Hide that." Emmett said. He went to the far corner and stood there. He faced the corner, staring at the wall. The elevator paused again, and the doors opened.

And on walked Carlisle.

He looked at Emmett standing in the corner, and at Jacob and me leaning against the wall. I gave a small wave. He pulled a notepad out of his back pocket- Alice clearly told him her would need it. He pulled a pen out of his other pocket and wrote a note. He showed it to me.

_Esme sent me here on my way home from the hospital to tell you that your punishment was over._

Jacob fist pumped, and I rolled my eyes.

_What the heck is he doing? _Carlisle wrote. I took the paper and pen and wrote my own note.

_Playing pranks on the elevator-goers. He obviously doesn't know it is you, so please make it good. _He smiled and put the paper and pen back in his pocket. He pulled out his cell phone and went to the ringtone screen. I saw which one was highlighted, and started laughing to myself. Carlisle hit play.

Multiple police sirens went off, followed by a "Turn around with your hands in the air! You are under arrest." More sirens went off, and I felt Emmett's giddy mood change to panic and fear. He turned around with his hands in the air.

"I'M SORRY! IT WAS ME! I WAS JUST HAVING FUN!" He whined. He fell to the ground on his knees, and finally looked up. He saw Carlisle holding his cell phone, and his anger melted into relief. He stood up and a smile slowly spread across his face.

"DADDY!" He screamed, launching himself at Carlisle. He tackled Carlisle to the ground, but not before he got his arms around him in one of his infamous bear hugs.

"Emmett Cullen, let go of me!" Carlisle said. Emmett hopped up releasing Carlisle. The elevator doors opened as we reached the first floor. Carlisle led us out, nodding at the guy at the front desk. Emmett paused and bowed again.

"May your life bid you well." He said in his most formal tone. Carlisle was shaking his head as we got to the cars.

"Go straight home. No funny business." Carlisle said. We got into the Jeep, and Carlisle got into the Mercedes. We heard him muttering from inside the car,

"Can't wait to see what Esme says about that."

**PURTY PLEASE REVIEW!! AND TO annabethchase45 (if I ever meet you) you can most certainly have an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie!!!!**


	38. I Give Up!

**Chapter 38  
****I Give Up **

**Sorry for the delay!!! I didn't mean for it to take this long, but there are only so many hours in the day!**

**Chapter dedicated to reviewer…Katie-Grace95!!!!  
****I don't own Twilight.  
****Emmett POV- just because I love being in his mind**

I hopped into my Jeep after the elevator experience. It was so much fun! I got to play pranks on all the elevator-goers. I need to remember to thank Alice for telling me I would need the suit and briefcase. She didn't explain why, but I am so glad she made sure I was prepared.

All I could think about on the way home was spending time with Rosalie. It had been thirty-six freaking hours and I hadn't spent one second of alone time with her! On top of it all, Rosalie has to make me the most _amazing_ promise, and then stupid Jasper has to give me a high five! It's all his fault!

Plus, I hadn't seen my wittle puppy in so long! We have been so busy with all this party stuff, that I haven't gotten to teach Coco and Bentley tricks yet! I need to play some more tricks on Eddie-pooh! The only time I have gotten to spend with them is when I was teaching them how not to bite humans.

But now we were driving home. I wasn't worried about Esme. She told us we had to stay in the elevator until she let us out. She never said that we weren't allowed to have a little fun. So technically, there is no possible way for me to get in trouble. Well, at least that is going to be my defense. I'll make sure I'm not in arms distance when saying that.

I turned down the long driveway towards our home. Jasper and I had forced Jacob to sit in the back seat since we're awesome.

"Emmett, why are you feeling confident?" Jasper asked.

"Because Esme never said we couldn't have a little fun while doing our punishment. So there is no way that I can possibly get in any trouble." I said. He laughed and patted my on the shoulder.

"Good luck with that buddy." He said as I was parking the car. We got out of the car, and I grabbed my briefcase. I held it at my side, and led the way up to the house. Carlisle was already here, and I threw open the door.

"Good evening my fair ladies, noble gentlemen, and Edward." I said in my proper voice. I straightened my tie again and gave a small bow to Esme. Her mouth was hanging wide open, and her eyes were trailing up and down my muscular body.

"Dearest mother, you should close your mouth- flies will nest." I told her. Her eyes just widened. "If you would excuse me, my lady and I have a date planned." I winked at Rose, and held my elbow out for her. She wrapped her arm around it, and we started up the stairs. But Carlisle grabbed the collar of my jacket and pulled us back in front of him and Esme.

"Father, you have dented the linen on my cloak." I told him. I pretended to smooth the fabric out with my free hand, keeping the other wrapped around Rose's arm.

"First, you are wearing a suit jacket, not a cloak. Second, you are not a formal diplomat. Third, Edward _is_ a gentleman. He is not his own separate category. Fourth, why don't you tell your _dearest mother_ what you were doing during your punishment?" Carlisle said.

"I was taking in my punishment, experiencing the consequences of my thoughtless actions- just as Mother asked." I told him, smiling at Esme. She smiled back at me, assuming I had been a good little vampire.

"Esme, stop believing him. He played pranks on everyone that came in the elevator." Jasper said. Brat.

"Emmett, is it possible for you to take anything seriously?" Esme said.

"Hello, I didn't ruin Edward and Bella's wedding!" I said. Edward rolled his eyes but Bella smiled.

"By the way, Emmett, thank you for that." Bella said. I winked at her and she laughed. Eddie growled at me.

"Enough! There are too many distractions down here. Emmett, upstairs. Rosalie, you may want to come so I don't hurt your husband."

"My lady, may I escort you to the tower?" Rosalie smiled her amazing smile.

"Yes, my knight, you may." I walked her up to our room, and heard Esme yell,

"KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON!"

I pulled Rosalie onto the edge of our bed, and began kissing her. I wrapped my arms around her, and her hands pulled the jacket off my shoulders. Her hands tangled in my hair, and my hands came to rest on her hips.

There was a throat clearing in room. I could tell it was Esme, and that she was in the room. We must've forgotten to close the door, but that wasn't uncommon. I could tell Rosalie knew it was Esme because as soon as Esme made a sound, she twined her fingers farther into my hair, and began kissing me more fiercely. Esme cleared her throat again, so I slowly started sliding my hands down to the waist of Rosalie's jeans.

"Emmett, Rosalie, stop it right now!" Esme yelled. Rosalie pulled away and turned to glare at her. In most times like this it was fake, but we really wanted our alone time so I think this was real.

"Can we do something for you? We are kinda busy at the moment." Rosalie said.

"I need to talk to Emmett about his behavior today."

"His behavior before you interrupted was wonderful." Rosalie said in a breathy voice. I winked at her and she giggled.

"Emmett Cullen, stop trying to seduce her." Esme said.

"Esme, I'm not_ trying_, because it is totally working." She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Emmett, get your hands off Rosalie and listen to me."

"I'll listen to you, but my hands will most definitely remain on Rose." I told her. She glared at me. "Go ahead." She took a deep breath.

"Emmett, do you think it is possible for me to send you anywhere without you causing a ruckus?" She asked.

"Ruckus? Who says 'ruckus'?" Rosalie asked.

"Quiet, Rosalie." Esme said. "Emmett, can't you take in a simple punishment without having to become a complete child?"

"Excuse me, Esme." Edward said from the doorway. "I was walking by and happened to hear part of your conversation. And to answer your question, no Emmett cannot go somewhere without acting like a juvenile delinquent." I picked up a book from the side table and threw it at his head. He ducked just in time and ran down the stairs. Esme was shaking her head yet again.

"Emmett, you are not allowed to play jokes on people while serving a punishment. Punishments are designed to make one think about their consequences. They are meant to make one learn that what they did in the first place was wrong. They are to learn to think through options before acting upon them. You were supposed to learn how to act like a grown up. I picked that punishment so that you, Jasper, and Jacob were able to bond. You will all be together for the rest of eternity. I do not a houseful of tension. I know with Jasper things will remain mostly calm, but I do not want him to be in complete turmoil throughout all that."

"Amen, Mama!" Jasper yelled from downstairs. Esme continued like she hadn't noticed.

"You three need to learn not to be complete nuisances to each other. This was my last effort, and now, I give up. I give up trying to discipline three grown men. This is for you to figure out on your own. You three need to work this out. Period." Esme nodded to herself, and spun out of the room. What the heck? She was giving us this lecture and just left? Weird.

I turned to Rose and she had the same type of expression on her face. We looked each other in the eye and shrugged. Then we went back to where we left off.

**Emmett finally got his alone time! OK, I need ideas! I am having writer's block!**


	39. Rules

**Chapter 39  
Rules**

**AN: Ahhhh, so many reviews!! I love you!!!!!!!!!!! We are a mere eight away from 600!!!!! O.M.J.!!! AwEsOmE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Thank you so much for all of the suggestions!! I'm going to use as many as i can!!**

**Chapter dedicated to reviewer…TwilightFanpireFreak!!!!!!!!!!!  
I don't own Twilight.**

**Bella POV**

Depending on how you looked at it, today could've been totally creepy, or totally awesome. We had Angela's party, which was good because I got to see my human friends. Also making Mike Newton green with envy makes anything better. Then of course Emmett went and got all crazy, but it's not like that is unusual. Actually, a normal day is pretty unusual with my family. And then to top everything off, Edward and I ended our day the way we always do. That was enough to make any day perfect.

I was slowly making my way back to the main house holding Edward's hand. Renesmee was on the other side of him. Her eyes were scanning the forest, probably looking for Jacob. We got to the main house and walked inside. Surprisingly, the house was quite normal. Rosalie and Emmett were just walking downstairs, both with giddy smiles on their faces. Esme was sketching on a notepad. Carlisle had a huge book in his lap- his favorite I could tell by the cover. Jasper and Alice were sitting on the love seat. Alice was pointing at things in a magazine, and Jasper being a good husband nodded and said 'mhm' whenever she said she liked something. He was probably also making a list of future gifts to get her. That is if she doesn't buy them all herself.

I sat down on the couch next to Esme. Edward went over and began playing softly on his piano. He was playing my lullaby. Jacob walked in the door with his hair dripping wet, shaking it out. Nessie ran up and gave him a big hug, and the two of them leaned against the wall and started playing a game of cards.

This was so weird. Everything was normal. Nobody was acting up, and everything was just as it should be. I didn't know why, but I had a feeling this won't last for long.

"Excuse me. Carlisle and I have an announcement to make." Esme said. She had put down her sketchpad, and Carlisle closed his book. Everyone put down what they were doing and listened. Edward was at my side in the next instant, leaning against the armrest.

"Wait!" Emmett said, holding up a hand. Esme turned her attention to him. "Can we guess?" Esme rolled her eyes, but decided to humor him.

"Sure. What are your guesses?" Then she added. "You each get two." She turned to Jasper.

"You are getting a perm, and Carlisle is going to go skydiving." Esme put her face in her hands and shook her head. She looked to Alice.

"We are going shopping and you are going to buy me the new shoes I want."

"Nope. Rose?" Alice pouted.

"You are buying me a new car and you have figured out a way to keep Edward out of my head?"

"I am not buying you a car and we already have someone to do that for you. Her name is Bella and she is sitting right next to me in case you haven't met her." I laughed and Rosalie rolled her eyes, but smiled at me. "Emmett, please state your ideas."

"You are pregnant and Carlisle has to pee." Really? _Really? _Does he not know neither of those can happen?

"Emmett, neither of those things is possible." Carlisle said.

"Well, by the noise you two were making last night I'd say the first is definitely possible." Emmett shot back. If it was possible, Esme and Carlisle would both be bright red.

"Emmett, you and Rose were making even more noise than them." Jasper said.

"Yeah, because we were trying to compete with them." He said.

"Emmett, there shall be no more discussion on Esme and I." Carlisle said.

"Fine, fine, fine. OK, what about my other guess?"

"I have told you this before. It is impossible for our kind to urinate." Carlisle said.

"But why shouldn't we be able to?" Emmett asked.

"We cannot digest, so there is no point in it." Jasper said.

"Yeah, yeah. I know we can't digest, but we drink blood. So we have fluids in our body."

"OK! Enough on this subject. Emmett, I am not or can I ever be pregnant, and Carlisle and is not and cannot feel the urge to urinate. Now does everyone have any more guesses or can we just tell you?" Emmett went quiet and looked at the floor. After about thirty seconds, his hand shot up. Esme ignored him and continued.

"Alright then. As you have probably been aware of, since we got the puppies, things have been slightly crazy around here. Carlisle and I love the puppies and all you very much, but we need a break. So for a little while, Carlisle and I are going to take a vacation on Isle Esme."

Here was the crazy thing I was expecting. I'm glad Esme and Carlisle are going to get some personal time- they deserve it. But that means we are home alone with everyone else. Including Emmett. And Emmett plus no parental supervision cannot turn out well.

"So we are just going to stay here?" Emmett asked. Oh no, I do not want to know what his plans are.

"Yes, but I am putting Edward and Bella in charge since they are the most responsible." Esme, why? Now most of Emmett's pranks are going to be aimed at Edward and me. Edward's arm tightened around me, whether in response to thoughts he was hearing or Esme's sentence.

"Esme, are you sure?" Edward asked.

"I am positive. We are leaving in about an hour, so I ask that Jasper and Emmett help us pack our things into the car. Edward and Bella- please make a list of rules for the house that I must approve before we leave." Esme and Carlisle walked hand-in-hand upstairs to finish packing their things. Emmett and Jasper followed upstairs. Alice and Rosalie starting watching a fashion channel, and remarking when the hosts gave bad advice. Jacob and Nessie continued their card game, and Edward and I went into the dining room to make our list.

"Love, we can escape for the time they are gone if you want." He said, pulling out my chair. Amira ran into the room after us and curled up on my lap. Tuffy hopped onto the chair next to us, his little puppy dog eyes always on Mimi.

"No, Edward it's fine. Who knows? Maybe it will be a little fun." He rolled his eyes but flipped to a new page in the notepad he brought. He clicked the pen and pointed it at the paper. After about ten minutes, we had our list of ten rules.

_1. Alice is not allowed to give makeovers to Bella or Edward. She is free to makeover Emmett and Jasper as she wishes._

_2. No one is allowed to take Carlisle's Mercedes out for a joy ride. _

_3. If anyone is arrested, no one will come to bail you out. And your mug shot must be brought home when you do return_._ If__ you return._

_4. Anything broken must be replaced before Esme arrives home._

_5. Emmett is not allowed to experiment on the puppies. He is not allowed to cut Tuffy or Amira's fur, for it will not go back. Nor is he allowed to attempt to teach Tuffy, Mimi, Coco, or Bentley how to hunt grizzly bears._

_6. Emmett is not allowed to try to cook real food for Renesmee, Jacob, Coco, or Bentley. Any normal dog food Coco and Bentley would like to eat must be bought._

_7. No one is allowed to use their special powers to manipulate anyone else._

_8. When sharing private moments, CLOSE YOUR DOOR! (cough, Emmett and Rosalie, cough)_

_9. Go hunting as soon as you feel the need. Please remember we have three beings that actually live in the house with blood running through their veins. _

_10. Emmett is not allowed to do anything stupid._

"OK, that pretty much covers everything." I said. Edward smiled and nodded just as Esme was walking into the room.

"How'd we do? Let me see what you have." She said. She leaned over our shoulders and read the paper. She was shaking with laughter by number ten. "These are perfect."

"Oh wait, we forgot one." Edward said. I looked at him confusedly, but without a word he picked up the pen and wrote down rule eleven.

_11. Do not call Esme or Carlisle unless it is an emergency. They will most likely be…busy._


	40. And So It Begins

**Chapter 40  
****And So It Begins…**

**AN: Wow, I am officaially losing my mind. I went to upload this chapter, and I edited all the spaces and stuff. I was just staring at my email waiting for the email saying it is posted to come up, and it just wouldn't show up. I then realized that I uploaded the chapter, but never put it into my story :-P Wow Maggie. Just wow.**

**OK, I just remembered that there is something very important involving Tuffy and Amira I haven't written in yet! No, I'm not going to tell what it is yet- I want you to guess! Whoever guesses the correct answer first gets that chapter dedicated to them!**

**Chapter dedicated to reviewer…Jazzy'sGirl4ever!! (By the way- love your name!)  
I don't own Twilight.  
****Rosalie POV**

"Goodbye! We'll miss you! Don't have too much fun without us! Use a condom!" Emmett yelled after Carlisle and Esme. They both glared at him but continued down the stairs. They got in the car and started driving away. Emmett waved at them, and then walked to stand right against the door. As soon as they were out of sight, Emmett slammed the door and turned around.

"FINALLY! They're gone!" He said. He had a huge smile across his face. This was Emmett's dream- to be left alone with no supervision for multiple weeks. I loved him more than anything, but even I was worried.

"OK, first things first," Edward said. "Time to tell everyone the rules."

"C'mon Eddie-pooh. Why can't you just go all out and forget about the rules?" Emmett said. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Because it was how I was raised and I would appreciate if my family survived these few weeks."

"When you say 'your family', are you talking about Bella and Nessie or all of us?" I asked. I put my hands on my hips. He thought about it for a moment before answering.

"I was actually just referring to them, but I guess you guys qualify as my family too." He shook his head. The mutt talked from the corner.

"Hey, you can't pick your family." He said. We all raised our eyebrows at him, and after a moment his pea-sized brain figured it out. "In your case, I guess you can." We all- except Nessie- rolled our eyes. Edward cleared his throat and we turned our attention back to him.

"OK, we have made copies of the rules. Please read them and respect them. If you have any questions we can answer them for you." He said. He wrapped his arm around Bella's waist and pulled her down to the couch. She put a pile of papers on the table and we each took one.

I looked at Emmett and pointed to number eight. He smiled and winked at me. Nope, we were most definitely keeping our door open. I looked down to number ten and laughed.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Number ten." I said through giggles.

"Hey, I am offended by that! When was the last time I ever did something stupid?" Emmett said. Everybody else opened our mouths to explain in detail _every_ stupid thing he had ever done. "OK, forget I asked." He turned to me. "Rose, I am shocked you were about to say something. I thought you loved me." He said putting on that puppy dog face. I put my hand on his arm.

"Babe, I do love you. And though you are quite book smart, sometime you don't think through things clearly."

"Well, I never knew you felt that way." Emmett said. He fake pouted and I rolled my eyes.

"Does anyone have anything else on the rules?" Bella asked. Emmett, Jasper, Nessie, and I shook our heads but Alice raised her hand. "Yes, Alice?"

"When you say no makeovers on Bella, do you mean-" Edward cut her off.

"It means absolutely no makeovers on Bella."

"What if she asks me to?" Alice shot back.

"Then I won't object." Edward said calmly. Bella glared at him.

"Alice, do you really think I will ever want you to makeover me?" She asked.

"Just wait my little friend. You just wait."

"Does anyone besides Emmett or Alice have any questions?" Bella asked. No one said anything, so Bella and Edward stood up.

"Thank you, everyone. Now please continue with whatever you would like, and behave." Edward said. He and Bella rushed upstairs to his old bedroom, and we could hear the silence from their impromptu make-out session. Nessie shuddered.

"Nessie, you are lucky you sleep at night." Alice said.

"Why?" She asked.

"So you don't have to hear what they are doing in their bedroom." Emmett said. Bentley came flying down the stairs with a vase in his mouth. He paused above Emmett and dropped the vase. It cracked into millions of pieces on his head and scattered all over the floor.

"Bentley, what was that for?" Emmett asked. Bentley flew into my lap and Emmett pulled a note that was stuck to his back. Emmett read it out loud.

'_SHUT UP EMMETT!' – B and E _

Emmett found a pen and wrote a note on the back.

_Well maybe if you two could keep it down a bit at night we wouldn't be having this conversation. – E _Emmett attached the note to Bentley and told him to fly to Edward. Bentley came back a few minutes later and just flew down onto my lap. There was no note, no nothing.

"There is no possible way you would be able to hear us." Bella said. She and Edward were now at the bottom of the stairs, and Bella's lip gloss was no longer as shiny as it was before.

"Yeah, but I snuck in the trees the other night and watched you guys. Pretty fascinating, the things you two do." Emmett said. I giggled and Edward picked up another vase and threw it at Emmett. Emmett ducked just in time and smacked the mutt straight in the face. He of course started bleeding again and Renesmee ran off to get him a towel and Band-aid.

"You guys must really hate me." He said wiping the blood off his face.

"Pretty much." I responded. Nessie glared at me.

"No one here hates you." Nessie told him. I rolled my eyes. I love Nessie, but the stupid imprinting thing doesn't help my hatred of werewolves.

"Well, I have made a list." Alice said. Everyone turned to look at her where she stood by the wall. She was attempting to attach a large poster board, but she couldn't reach. Jasper walked over to her and helped her put it up. They stared into each other's eyes when he was done like they always do. Emmett cleared his throat and gagged.

"Get a room, or tell us what the poster is for." Alice sighed and Jasper rolled his eyes.

"We are going to make a list of everything that gets broken. These things must be replaced and crossed off before they get home." Alice handed Jasper the marker. He wrote on the board that Edward owed two vases. Edward sighed.

"If it is ever possible for Emmett to control his mouth around my _daughter_, we might not have so many broken vases."

**OMJ!! I JUST HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA FOR A FUTURE CHAPTER! Haha, just wait and see…PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	41. Not So Amused

**Chapter 41  
****Not So Amused**

**Oh my gosh, I am soooooooooo sorry this took so long to update!! I had camp, and then a show, and then another camp, and then I got my computer taken away, and ahhhh!!!!! Put I'm back!**

**Chapter dedicated to reviewer…raybanlover!!! (Btw, I LOVE ray bans!!)  
****I don't own Twilight.  
****Bella POV**

Emmett was making way too much noise in his room. Rosalie was sitting down in the chair, so I knew he was alone. Edward was sitting next to me in the love seat playing with my hair, and Nessie and Jake were sitting on the couch.

Jasper and Alice were sitting on the floor building a puzzle. They had been working on it for almost two hours, and as they were vampires you think they could've finished it by now. But by accident, Bentley landed on top of it once. As he landed on the puzzle, it broke apart, back to the original way it was. All the puppies found this amusing, and every time Alice and Jasper were down to the last two pieces, one of them would run over it. The best times were when Mimi ran over it. She would go invisible, and then the puzzle would just crumble. Jasper would try and catch her invisible form, but before he could even reach his hands out she was back with her little puppy family. Tuffy turned into different things, trying to see what demolished the puzzle best. He had tried a shoe, a bucket, a popsicle, a telephone, a TV, a anvil, a rubber ducky, a bouncy ball, a miniature toy car, and a whole lot more stuff. One time a piece had even ripped in half. Alice just rolled her eyes every time and got back to work, but Jasper looked really annoyed. Alice would squeeze his hand and he would get back to work.

Emmett came bolting down the stairs. He had his big goofy grin on his face. Rosalie looked up alarmed, and tensed herself as she saw his expression.

"Emmett, what are you up to?" Rose asked. She knew that smile could never lead to anything good.

"Alright, everyone come here." Emmett said. Alice got up, walked over, and sat down on the arm of the chair Rosalie was sitting in. Tuffy, Amira, and Bentley followed Alice over and snuggled up in the big, fluffy dog bed beside the couch. "OK," Emmett said. "Wait, why aren't Jasper and Coco here?"

Emmett turned around to look at Jasper and Coco. Coco had one of the puzzle pieces gripped tightly between his teeth. Jasper was pulling on the piece trying to force it out of Coco's mouth. Both of them were growling at each other. I'm surprised the piece hadn't torn yet- Jasper's strength and Coco's sharp teeth should've ripped it by now. Jasper was kneeling on the floor so he could get in Coco's adorable face. Coco looked so delicate and cute as she growled towards the man that was five times her petite size.

"Jasper, let go of the puzzle piece." Alice said. Usually Jasper would listen to Alice and let go of the puzzle piece, but he was determined to win. He tried pulling harder. He stood up dragging the puzzle piece with him, but all that did was cause Coco's little body to come off the floor. Now Coco was hanging in the air by a little puzzle piece.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and walked over to Jasper and Coco. She slapped Jasper across the face and held onto Coco. She yanked the puzzle piece out of Coco's mouth and Jasper's hand.

"Now that you two are done, can we please listen to Emmett?" Rosalie said. Jasper muttered, 'yeah' and Coco nodded her little head. I took Coco out of Rose's arms and held her in my lap. Jasper wrapped his arm around Alice's waist and looked to Emmett. Emmett was standing in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips and pouting.

"I will continue now that our immature beings have finished." Emmett said. He glared at Jasper but smiled at Coco.

"Emmett, if I were you, I wouldn't be calling anyone immature." Edward said. He had a point there.

"Yeah, I'm immature," Emmett mocked. "This coming from someone who was almost one-hundred and ten before they got lucky."

"That's because Bella wasn't born yet." Edward fired back.

"Oh well, it's not like you are better at it than me anyway." Great, now we were discussing the differences of Edward's and Emmett's private lives.

"Yeah? I got her pregnant the second time we did." He did not just say that. He is in deep, deep trouble. My head was in my hands by now, and Nessie was covering her ears and hiding her face in a pillow.

"Would you two just shut up so we can get on with the damn announcement?!" Alice said. We all stared at her in shock- we had never heard her talk like that. Even Jasper had a dumb-founded expression on his face.

"Su-sure." Emmett muttered. He blinked, and composed himself. "Since it is a dreary day, and we are quite bored, we are going to do something today." Edward's arms tightened around me, Jasper's arm tightened around Alice's waist, and Jacob wrapped his arms around Renesmee.

"Calm down people. We are going to go to an amusement park!" Emmett said excitedly. This wasn't as awful as I thought. I loved roller coasters when I was a human, and I hadn't been to one since I met Edward.

"Awesome! Where is it?" I asked. Edward looked at me surprised.

"Love, I never knew you liked amusement parks." He said. I nodded.

"OK, well we are going to that really big one near Seattle. Like no one will be there since it's cloudy, but as like long as it doesn't rain, we are all set." Emmett turned to Alice for confirmation, but Jasper interceded.

"Like we can like ride like the tea cups and stuff, like." Jasper teased. We all started laughing except for Emmett. He glared at all of us until we shut up.

"Alice, will it be dry?" Emmett asked. She nodded with a smile. "Perfect! Get ready, and we will leave in thirty minutes!" Emmett bolted back up the stairs.

* * *

An hour later we pulled into the parking lot. I parked my Ferrari that Edward, Nessie, Jake, Coco, Bentley and I were in. Alice pulled in next to us with Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Tuffy, and Amira. We all got out of the cars and started walking towards the entrance. Edward took my hand and as we followed Rose and Emmett to the entrance. A small brown woman was sitting inside the booth reading a magazine.

"Excuse me; we would like to purchase eight adult tickets please." Rosalie said. The woman looked up and gasped. Emmett and Rosalie's eyes were wide.

"What are you guys doing here?" The woman asked.

"Um, going to the amusement park on account of this is the entrance to the amusement park. I think the more important question is what are you doing here? I thought you worked at the pet shop?" Rosalie said. Emmett turned to Rosalie.

"Rose, you know Colleen?"

"Yeah, I bought Amira at the place you bought Tuffy. Colleen sold her to me." Rosalie said. Wow, the world is way too small.

"Oh, well I work my second job here. So how are the puppies?" Colleen asked.

"They are wonderful. Can we just have the tickets now?" Emmett was getting impatient. He wanted to go inside and play on all the rides.

"So impatient." Colleen grumbled, obviously not meant for us to hear. She printed out the tickets and Rosalie handed her the cash. We walked through the gates to the amusement park and I could practically feel Emmett's excitement even without Jasper's help. The clouds were driving everybody away, so we and about twenty other people were the only guests in the parks.

"Let's go on this one!" Emmett said pointing towards the first coaster. We all ran- at human speed- towards it. Emmett and Rosalie took the front, Edward and I took the second row, Alice and Jasper took the third row, and Nessie climbed into the fourth. She slid the whole way over so Jacob could climb in with her, but Jacob didn't get on.

"Uh, I'll think I'll stay out here, on the ground, with the puppies." Jake said. The ride conductor person wouldn't let the puppies come on the ride since they were so small.

"Jacob, are you scared?" Jasper said tasting Jasper's mood. He then dropped his voice so the human couldn't hear. "A huge werewolf that jumps at the chance to destroy vampires is scared of a little bumpy car ride."

"Oh, this is gold. Don't worry wolf, this will be held against you for years and years to come…" Rosalie said.

"I'm going to go get something to eat. I'll see you when you get off." He turned around and walked away with the puppies. That was a strange sight- a seven foot tall, muscular man walking around with four miniature puppies on pink and light blue leashes.

We rode the roller coaster three times in a row. There was no line so the attendant dude let us ride as much as we want. After three times though, people were starting to get in line so he made us get off. We ran around from ride to ride. There were super fast rides, and some twisty-turvy rides. Nessie loved them all, which I was glad for. I was hoping her stomach wouldn't have so much human in it that she would feel nauseous.

After a while, Nessie said she needed a break. We decided to see where Jacob was so Nessie could relax doWe found Jacob sitting at a hot dog stand table. The puppies were each sitting in their own separate chairs looking up at us. As soon as Tuffy saw Emmett, he ran towards him. Emmett scooped him up into his arms.

"Hey buddy. How you doing?" Emmett said petting his fur. Tuffy smiled his cute toothy smile up at Emmett just as we were getting to Jacob. Nessie went and sat down next to him.

"How are you and the dogs doing?" She asked.

"Good, except for that little kid keeps staring at me." Jacob said. He pointed to a cute small boy in denim overalls holding a red balloon. The small boy was staring directly at Jacob. When Jacob met eyes with him, the little boy started crying. And I mean crying. He was wailing so loud that my ears hurt. His mom picked him up and tried to calm him down. The little boy pointed at Jacob and the mother glared at him. After the boy calmed down, his mother handed him to his father. The mother stormed over towards where Jacob was with her hands on her hips.

"How dare you! Making a little boy cry!" She came closer and slapped Jacob across the top of his head. "You should be ashamed." She turned on her heel and walked back to her son and husband.

"Well, that was odd." Emmett said. "Alright, since Nessie still looks a little dizzy, the girls can stay here with her and the puppies. The guys are going to go ride some more coasters!" Emmett cheered. He grabbed Jacob's arm and began towing him after the other guys. Edward kissed me on the lips and then followed after Emmett and Jacob. As they were walking away we could hear Jacob yelling."

"No, no! Don't make me! Anything put this! Help! Help!" Emmett clamped his hand over Jacob's mouth and led him into the tunnel for the coaster.

"I cannot believe he is making us stay here with the puppies." Rosalie said in disgust as she sat down at the table. "That is my favorite roller coaster and he is taking the dog on instead of me." The puppies all barked at the same time. Rosalie looked confused, and then it came to her. "Sorry! He is taking the stinky, filthy mutt on instead on me." She corrected. The puppies all smiled at her. Man, they were smart.

"How about a little revenge?" Alice said with her evil grin across her face. We all nodded as Alice whispered the plan to us. This was good.

"Is it going to work?" Nessie asked. Alice nodded and pointed to a group of four young men walking through the park.

"Rose, come here." Alice said. Rose walked over to her and Alice got to work. Alice neatly ripped off a strand from Rosalie's skirt, shortening it. Alice ripped the sleeves off her shirt and extended the neck line. Rosalie put on darker red lipstick and poised herself. Rosalie walked over to the boys and started flirting with all she had.

"Hey boys." She said in her sugar sweet voice. "How's your day?" Three of the boys were dumb struck, but one was able to re-collect himself.

"Pretty good. But my day would be better if I could spend the rest of it with you." Rosalie giggled and held out her hand.

"I'm Rose. And may I ask what your name is?" The man and Rose shook hands, but Rosalie didn't let go.

"I'm Joe. Listen, I kinda have a girlfriend. I might. It's complicated." Rosalie kept a firm grasp on his hand and stepped closer. If she took one more step she would be touching him.

"Don't worry- I can keep a secret." Joe was in a daze staring at Rosalie. His other friends came up behind them.

"Hey, um, we actually don't have girlfriends, so got anyone you can set us up with?" One of them asked. Rosalie shot him her dazzling smile and pointed to us. We flirty waved at the same time. While Rosalie had been flirting, Alice had made the same sorts of revisions to our outfits. Rosalie waved us over. I could see the guys standing at the exit of the roller coaster frozen. They were watching the exchange that was taken place, and I could see Emmett's horrified face. I knew they didn't know I could see them.

We stood up from our chairs and walked over to the group of men. Alice tied the leashes of our puppies to the chairs so they couldn't escape. We each took our turns making the boys swoon. I had Nick, and he was pretty easy to swoon. With the revisions Alice made to my shirt, I'm surprised he kept his distance. Alice had Kevin, and he was a bit harder than Joe and Nick. Alice took him because she saw he would be the hardest. She was able to win him over after a few tries.

The easiest by far was Franklin. He was already won over by Nessie the second he saw him. This turned my stomach knowing my daughter could easily win over men. As she got closer though, he practically fainted. Once he got a clear view of her face, he began breathing extremely heavy.

Emmett was having enough. He looked as if he was ready to rip of Joe's head. Edward, Jacob, and Jasper had a similar look, but Emmett's was the most pronounced. Rosalie had been laying it on the heaviest, and Emmett was about to lose it.

Rosalie saw this too, and made her final move. She took her hand and put it up to Joe's face. She slid it down his cheek, over his neck, and down his arm. She stopped on his bicep and gave a very gentle squeeze. Joe jumped, but smiled. He put his hands on Rosalie's upper arms and pulled her closer.

Emmett had seen enough. He stormed over to Joe and ripped Rosalie away from him. He hid her behind his back and got in Joe's face.

"Stay away from my wife." He growled. Edward, Jacob, and Jasper had followed Emmett and yanked us away from Nick, Kevin, and Franklin.

"Your wife?! You're married?!" He asked Rosalie. She smiled and nodded. "You're…you're…you're icky!" He shouted at Rose. He ran off and his friends followed him. Emmett turned around to Rosalie.

"Rose, what was that?!" He freaked. She smiled.

"Not so amused, are you?" Rosalie asked.

**FINALLY I GOT THIS UPLOADED!! I AM SOOO SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!!**


	42. Please Don't Do That Again

**Chapter 42  
****Please Don't Do That Again**

**AN: You do not know how long it took me to upload this chapter. I tried sooo many times and it just did not work. I deleted it like ten times, and had to try over and over again. I was even more upset, because I finished this chapter like three days ago, and you guys don't get to see it until today!! I know some people did get messages saying it was updated, and when they clicked the link- it didn't show up. If you do get a lot of messages saying it is posted, go to the most recent one. It wasn't working on my computer, so I don't know what happened! Sooooooooo sorry!!! **

**Also, I have a mission for you all! Next chapter, the Cullens will be playing truth or dare!! I need dares (and truths)!! Review or PM me your most Cullen-y dares, and the winners will get chapter dedications!! Feel free to send more than one dare!!**

**And for all you asking…yes, the names of the group of guys last chapter were the Jonas Brothers and their little brother Frankie. :-)**

**Chapter dedicated to reviewer…cookie_luvr999!!!  
****I don't own Twilight.  
****Rosalie POV**

Emmett grabbed my elbow and started pulling me towards the exit. "Let's go- we're leaving." He told everyone, even though it was more of a growl. Bella and Alice had smug smiles on their faces, earning glares from Edward and Jasper. Nessie looked terrified as the mutt and she took the puppies leashes. He was shaking like he was about to phase and he was glaring at Nessie with hard eyes.

Emmett was by far the angriest. He was practically seething as we got into our cars. I climbed into the driver's seat of my BMW. Alice slipped in next to me, holding Bentley and Coco. She held them on her lap, both of them about to fall asleep. Bella and Nessie slipped into the backseat of the Volvo, Nessie holding Amira and Bella holding Tuffy. All the guys and Jacob were standing in between the cars talking. Emmett looked pissed and sexy, Edward looked worried, Jasper looked tense, and the mutt looked ugly and mad. They talked for a few minutes, until separating and getting into the cars. Jasper slipped into the back seat behind Alice, and Emmett slipped in behind me. I looked at his reflection in the side mirror. His expression was hard and his arms were crossed over his chest.

Edward pulled out of the parking lot, and I followed him out. No one said anything on the way home, and I could tell Edward's Volvo was just as silent. I sped home and pulled into the garage. I took a sleeping Bentley from Alice as she carried in a sleeping Coco. We laid them in their plush doggy bed, careful not to disturb their peaceful sleep. Tuffy and Mimi ran into the house behind us, and they cuddled up on the floor. They were so cute together.

I plopped down on the couch, Alice next to me. Bella sat down next to her, and Nessie sat in the armchair. Emmett, Edward, Jasper, and the mutt walked through the door and stood in a straight line with their arms folded across their chests. They just glared at us.

"Um, can we help you?" I asked.

"What were you thinking, Rosalie?!" Emmett yelled. "Flirting with another man! You can't just go off and do stuff like that when I'm not around! Have you done this before?! And in that outfit?! While I admit you look quite sexy, that will just turn them on!" Emmett rattled off without a breath.

"We were playing a joke. Emmett, you know that is my favorite roller coaster! And you left me to watch the puppies. I love them, but I would've much rather been on the coaster." I said. Emmett calmed down a bit, but not a lot. "Hey, don't single me out- the rest of them did it too." I said.

"Yeah, she's right! You can't just do that to us!" The mutt said looking straight at Nessie.

"Alice, I don't want you doing that again. It scared me, you being around them." Jasper said calmly. Alice ran up and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm sorry, Jazzy. I won't do it again." She said in her sugar sweet voice. He forgave her immediately- whipped. He kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Thank you." He said. Alice returned back to her place next to me and shot me a wink. I rolled my eyes.

"Bella," Edward said. Bella looked up. "How could you do that? I could imagine Rosalie and Alice doing it, but not you.

"Thanks, bro." Alice said sarcastically.

"Renesmee," Edward continued. "I don't want to ever see you doing that again. It was enough seeing my wife doing it, but my daughter!" He freaked. I think Edward would be having a melt-down tonight.

"Nessie, you practically gave me a heart attack. Please never do that ever, ever again."

"Edward," Bella said. He turned back to her. "We were just having a little bit of fun. Don't worry about it, sweetie. Now let's go back to the cottage before you have a full on panic attack."

She got up off the couch and took Edward's hand. They said goodnight to us and walked out the back door. Nessie got out of the chair and kissed the mutt on the cheek. She followed her parents out and the mutt ran out the front door. Jasper wrapped his arm around Alice's waist and they ran up to their room. I heard their door close meaning they would be busy.

"Rose--" Emmett said. I interrupted him.

"Em, let's go up to our room. We can talk about it up there." I said.

I ran up to our room and laid down on the bed. Emmett walked in a minute later and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry I over-reacted. It's just…I didn't know you were kidding. It…it hurt me to think I was losing you." Emmett said. He looked down embarrassed. I knelt on the bed and went right up to him. I tangled my fingers in his hair and gave him a long, passionate kiss on the lips.

"I will never, ever want anyone but you." I said, kissing him again. I rolled onto my back and Em hovered over me, still kissing me. "If you want me to prove it to you…" I trailed off. He smiled and kissed me again.

"One sec," He said. He leaned over to the side table and grabbed his cell phone. "Time to start plan 'Break all of Eddie and Bella's rules'." He dialed and held the phone to his ear. We waited in silence as Esme's cell phone rang. She didn't pick up.

"Wow, they must be real busy." He said, dialing Carlisle's phone. He didn't pick up. He dialed Esme's number again. She picked up on the first ring.

"_What do you want Emmett?"_ She asked.

"Well…" Emmett said.

"_Emmett, is anyone hurt, dead, sick, losing any body parts, or in jail?"_ Esme asked.

"No."

_"Then leave us alone."_ Esme said. She snapped the phone shut.

"Well, someone is in a good mood." I said. Emmett laughed and tossed the phone back onto the table.

"Now where were we?" Emmett asked.

**PLEASE REVIEW AND SEND ME YOUR DARES (AND TRUTHS)!!**


	43. Truth or Dare

**Chapter 43  
****Truth or Dare**

**The Cullens plus four puppies plus truth or dare plus dares submitted by my readers? This cannot end well. I think I'm scared to type this…**

**Chapter dedicated to the people who suggested dares:  
**_**crazytwilightcutie  
**_**Im On The Vamps Side  
**_**T713 the new .Hale  
**_**peacelovextwilight30  
**_**cullenvampire01  
**_**Blue Tulips  
**_**Adele-x-Ianto-R.I.P.  
**__**UnicornMagic**_

**I don't own Twilight.  
****Edward POV**

"EVERYONE TO THE LIVING ROOM NOW!" Emmett screamed. I tried to see what the problem was, but he was blocking his thoughts.

_Ha ha, can't read my mind can you?! Sucker! _Emmett yelled at me through his mind. I could tell by his tone that nothing was wrong.

We all gathered in the living room. I sat down next to my angel and wrapped my arm around her waist. She leaned into me.

"OK everyone, we are going to play a game!" Emmett announced. As he said game, his thoughts slipped. I wrapped my arms tightly around her body and held her close.

"Yes!" Alice cheered.

"No!" I moaned.

"Would the both of you shut up so I can tell everyone else what the game is?" Alice pretended to lock her mouth and throw the key over her shoulder. Tuffy jumped up at exactly the same moment and morphed into a key. Alice looked behind her as she heard the 'ding' of the metal.

"How'd I do that?!" Alice shrieked. Just then, Tuffy decided the joke was over and turned himself back into a puppy. Alice's face fell.

"Alice, sit." Emmett said. He pointed to the chair. Alice sat and Jasper glared at Emmett.

"Can you please just tell us what the game is?!" Jacob said.

"Truth or Dare!" Emmett shouted. Alice and Jasper looked excited, Rosalie looked mischievous, Bella looked worried but excited, and Jacob and Nessie looked terrified. "Oh, and you have no choice but to participate. So Eddie, yes you will be playing." I growled at his nickname.

We cleared the furniture out of the way and sat on the floor in a circle. Emmett set up a video camera and hit the button. It was now recording everything that happened in this game.

"I'll go first!" Emmett shouted.

_Hmm…who should I pick? Ahhhh, I know. _

"Bella," She gulped. "Truth or dare?" Emmett asked.

"…truth." Oh no, Bella. The dares were horrible, but the truths had you exposing some of your worst secrets.

"Excellent." Emmett said. "Bella, how many times have you and Edward gotten it on?" Please tell me he did not just ask that.

_I get to embarrass two people with one truth! That is your best yet! _Emmett.

_Nice Emmett!_ Jasper.

_Ha ha, I cannot wait to see how Nessie reacts to this_. Rosalie.

*snaps out of vision* _Wow, that's a big number. _Alice.

_Oh my gosh, I do not want to hear this._ Nessie.

_Embarrassingggggggggggggg._ Jacob.

"Emmett, are you sure you want me to answer that with my daughter sitting right there?" Bella was doing whatever she could to get out of answering this question.

"I'm positive. Now add it up and answer the stinking question." Bella took a deep breath and looked deep in thought. She closed her eyes as she answered.

"2,538." She said. I could remember each time with perfect clarity, and I knew that answer was right. She put her head in her hands.

"My ears! My ears! I'm scarred!" Nessie yelled. Everyone else was hysterically laughing.

"Wow Edward, I didn't think you had it in you." Rosalie said.

"Yeah I was beginning to think you were gay." Jasper agreed. I glared at them both.

"Can we please stop discussing our private life?" I turned to Bella who still had her head in her hands. "Bella, love, it is your turn." Her head shot up and she looked around the circle. She paused on Rosalie.

"Rosalie, truth of dare?"

"Dare." Rosalie answered simply.

"I dare you to make-out –tongue and all- with Jacob for one minute." Rosalie and Jacob stared at her in disbelief. Everyone else was looking at Bella like she'd grown a second head.

_BELLA came up with that?! Sweet, innocent Bella?! _Jasper.

_This is going to be awesome._ Alice.

_I didn't think she had that in her. I'm proud of you, Mom._ Nessie.

"She really was meant to be a Cullen girl." Emmett said his thoughts out loud. Bella was very smug. Rosalie and Jacob were still staring at Bella with their eyes wide and mouths hanging wide open.

"Are you guys going to get on with it? A minute is a long time. You might want to get started." I suggested. Rosalie picked up a vase and chucked it at my head. I ducked and the vase flew past and smacked into the window. The window shattered, and the vase crumbled into a thousand pieces.

Alice got up off the floor and ran over to the board.

"Alright now we have three vases, and one back window." Alice said. She sat back down and shoved Rosalie into the center of the circle. I pushed on Jacob's shoulder and he fell forward. He landed with his head on Rosalie's legs.

"Eww! You clumsy mutt!" She yelled. Jacob got onto his knees as Rosalie straightened her shirt. She turned to Bella. "Please Bella. I'll do whatever you want. I'll be your maid. I will proclaim your goodness to the world. I'll never give you a makeover again. Just don't make me do this."

"You picked dare. You can't go back." Bella said. Rosalie took a deep breath and turned back to Jacob. Emmett had a stopwatch ready to time the kiss to make sure it was at least one minute long.

"You better make sure that the millisecond it hits one minute you tell me. Otherwise, you will not be seeing any part of me for the next decade." Rosalie threatened Emmett. He became frightened and nodded his head.

Rosalie and Jacob stared at each other. They both wanted to get this over with, so they decided to start. They leaned in. And I saw a site I thought I would never see.

Jacob Black and Rosalie Hale in a full on make out session.

The kiss lingered for the full minute. Rosalie looked disgusted while continuing on with her dare. The only parts of them that were touching were their faces. Nessie was in shock. Emmett was in shock but was enjoying it. Alice, Jasper, Bella, and I were hysterical.

"Time!" Emmett yelled. Rosalie broke away and threw Jacob back. Jacob stuffed his face with mints from his pocket. Rosalie climbed onto Emmett's lap and looked at the stopwatch. The timer was point-two seconds over one minute. Rosalie smiled and pretty much attacked Emmett.

She was on top of him, kissing Emmett with all her might. Rosalie and Emmett were getting way too passionate right in front of us.

_If this goes any farther he is going to be losing his pants._ Jasper.

_Get a room._ Alice.

_Wow, even though Rosalie and Jacob together was creepy, that was pretty hot._ Nessie. I looked at her in disbelief and she shrugged.

_Whoa…_ Jacob.

_Stop sucking face!_ Tuffy, Amira, Bentley, and Coco. How did they even know what that meant?!

I didn't care to look into the minds of Rosalie and Emmett.

Rosalie broke away. She had a huge smile across her face. Emmett was gasping for air and his eyes were wide in shock.

"Thanks, babe. I had to get the taste of him out of my mouth." Rosalie said.

"My pleasure…" Emmett said, still a little bit dazed.

"Blondie, I gotta say, you're a pretty good kisser." Jacob said. Rosalie, Emmett, and Nessie were staring at him in disbelief, but Jasper, Alice, Bella, and I were hysterical again.

"Excuse me?!" Nessie asked in disbelief.

"Of course you are better." Jacob quickly corrected.

"Excuse me?!" I asked Jacob. He looked at Rosalie.

"Please take your turn before I can grow another foot to put in my mouth." Rosalie looked around the circle deciding who to pick. She stopped on Jasper.

"Jasper, truth or dare?"

"Truth." He said after thinking about it a while.

"Oh Jasper! Why, why, why!" Alice wailed her head in her hands.

"Jasper," Rosalie said, regaining everyone's attention. "Did you still have your virginity on your wedding night? And if no, who took it, and where was it lost?"

Jasper put his head in his hands. "I should've picked the freaking dare." He looked back up.

"No, I didn't." Jasper said. Alice didn't look surprised by this fact. Jasper and Alice were both blocking their thoughts, and both were looking at me.

"Ooh, Jasper was a naughty little soldier." Emmett said.

"OK, second part of the question! Who was it with?" Rosalie was excited to hear this new piece of information.

"Alice, of course. She is the only person I have ever been in love with." Alice and Jasper exchanged a mushy-gushy glance.

"Ooh, Alice was a naughty little girl." Emmett said.

"Now answer the next part." Rosalie said. Both of them looked confusedly at her. Jasper and Alice both thought they answered it.

"Where was it lost?!" Emmett asked. Alice and Jasper's thoughts both slipped. I gasped in shock.

"NO!" I yelled. Bella held my hand tighter, surprised by my sudden outburst.

"On Edward's piano." Jasper said quietly. That piano was centuries old, and I just found out it was tainted by Jasper and Alice's lust. Bella and I were staring at Alice and Jasper. Our faces were a mixture of disbelief and anger. Everyone else was hysterical.

Haha, now Edward gets to think about them every time he plays a song for Bella. Emmett.

I am learning way too much about my family right now. Nessie.

_Bad mental picture. Bad mental picture._ Jacob.

_I didn't know Jasper and Alice were that scandalous._ Rosalie.

"Jasper and Alice, you will be paying for that." I warned. Jasper looked at me and his eyes lit up.

"My turn," Jasper said. "Edward, truth or dare?" Jasper and Alice blocked their thoughts so I couldn't see where this was going.

"Dare." I said. How bad could it be?

"I dare you to call Charlie and tell him you used to spend every night in Bella's room." Jasper said. Bella and I were staring at him in shock. Nessie was shocked that I used to spend every night in her room.

_He's going to have a heart attack!_ Rosalie.

_I wonder if he is going to tell Charlie that he never wore a shirt while he was there_. Jacob.

_What is wrong with these people?!_ Jacob.

_And you thought I couldn't come up with something like this!_ Jasper.

_I'll get the phone!_ Alice. Alice jumped up and ran into the kitchen. She came back a second later with the phone in hand. She tossed it to me.

"Get on with it." Alice said. I turned to Bella.

"I'm so sorry if Charlie never speaks to you again." She giggled. I dialed the phone and held it up to my ear. I put it on speaker.

"Hello?" Charlie said.

"Hello Charlie. This is Edward." I said.

"Oh, hello. Is Bella all right?" He asked.

"Yes, she is perfectly fine. But Charlie, I called you to tell you about something. It has been eating at me for the past week. I haven't gotten any sleep." Everyone was covering their mouths to keep from laughing.

"Well, get on with it Edward."

"You know how when Bella was in senior year and she used to go to bed very early? She was coming upstairs to see me. I snuck into her room every night and spent the night with her. And then I left before the sun came up." It was silent of the other end.

"WHAT?!" Charlie yelled. "YOU SLEPT WITH BELLA WHILE I WAS ASLEEP IN THE OTHER ROOM?"

"No, Charlie. I never slept with her in her room." That was right in more ways than one.

"Edward Cullen, I will be calling your parents about this."

"I understand, sir. Now I must go- Bella is waiting for me." Bella smirked and looked and Alice. Alice nodded and Bella snatched the phone out of my hand. She held it close to her mouth.

"Oh, Edward." She breathed. Her voice was a mix of sexy, out of breath, and seduction. She giggled a flirty little giggle.

"BELLA!" Charlie screamed horrified into the phone. The phone slammed down and hung up. We all burst of laughing and Alice gave Bella a high-five for her performance. The phone rang. It was Charlie.

"Emmett, you do the best Carlisle impression." Alice said. Emmett grabbed the phone and flipped it open.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen speaking. Can I diagnose your issues?" Emmett said in his Carlisle voice. I really hope Carlisle never found out about this.

"Um, Carlisle this is Charlie. Edward just called to tell me that he used to spend every night at Bella's house. Do you know if that was a joke or something?" Charlie asked hopefully.

"No, Chief. Edward was one hundred percent telling the truth. In fact I was the one who suggested it. Don't worry; I made sure Edward kept his morals. You know how teenage boys can get around a woman in a dark, romantic setting."

"What is wrong with your family?!" Charlie yelled. He hung the phone up again and we burst out laughing.

"We better hope Carlisle never finds out about that." Jasper said. We all agreed.

"Alice, truth or dare." I made up my mind on a dare that wasn't bad at all.

"Dare." I switched my mind at the last minute so she couldn't see what I was planning.

"I dare you to eat as much food as Jacob eats in a meal." I said. Alice glared at me and muttered, 'I should've known he was going to switch it.'

"I'll be right back!" Jacob said. He ran into the kitchen and we heard him banging around. He came out later with a large plate of food and a bowl of chocolate pudding.

"PUDDING!" Jasper and Emmett yelled. Alice looked at us and took a deep breath. She picked up a hot dog and took a big bite. Her face scrunched up and she looked disgusting.

"This is gross." She muttered. She finished the entire plate- and the bowl of pudding, and she looked like she was about to hurl. "Excuse me." She said. She got up and ran to the bathroom. Two minutes later she was back and folded herself back onto the floor.

"OK, now that my torture is over…my turn." She looked around the circle and laid her eyes on Jacob. "Jacob, truth or dare?"

"Truth." He said. I think he was afraid he would be in another make-out session with Rosalie.

"Have you ever done it with Nessie?" Alice asked simply. Bella and I were staring at Nessie and Jacob intently, both hoping the answer was no. Everyone else was smiling or laughing- even the puppies.

"Yes." He hung his head in shame.

"WHAT?!" Bella and I both screeched. Nessie slapped Jacob's arm.

"Why did you tell them that?! It's called lying!"

"Jacob, Nessie we will be having a _serious _talk after this game is over." Bella warned. That's my girl.

"Alright, my turn." Jacob said. "Nessie, truth or dare?"

"Aw, you picked me?!" Nessie sighed. "Truth." She said.

"Have you ever walked in on someone doing something they shouldn't be doing? And if so, who was it and what were they doing?"

"Easy. I've walked in on Emmett dressed up as Britney Spears singing 'Oops I did it again.'"

"You were the one who posted that on YouTube?!" Emmett yelled.

_I saw that video! Priceless! _Jasper.

_He stole my Britney costume! _Alice.

_Oh, Emmett, why? _Rosalie.

"My turn!" Nessie said with a mischievous smile. Everyone knew Emmett never said truth. "Truth or dare, Emmett?"

"Dare!" Emmett shouted excitedly. Alice shot Nessie a wink behind Emmett's back.

"I dare you to go skinny-dipping in Mike Newton's pool." Emmett's mouth dropped to the floor.

"Fine…" He grumbled. We gathered everything- including the video camera- and ran through the forest to Mike Newton's house. Nessie held Tuffy and Amira, and Jacob held Coco and Bentley. We hid ourselves in the trees, the camera positioned so it would catch everything.

"I'm taking this one step further." Emmett said. He walked to Mike's back door and rang the doorbell. Mike came to the doorway and opened the door. He shrieked as he saw Emmett standing there.

"Emmett, what are you doing here?"

"I have a present for you." Emmett said with a flirty smile. He began stripping in front of Michael. Mike was so in shock he was frozen watching Emmett. After Emmett was completely naked, he picked up his pants and wrapped them around Mike's neck like a scarf. Emmett turned around and slowly walked over to the pool. He got onto the diving board and jumped into the pool. Emmett did a dance inside the pool- like a synchronized swimming routine. There were footsteps inside of the house. Mike was still frozen staring at Emmett.

Jessica Stanley walked up behind Mike. She looked at Mike, and then saw Emmett swimming around naked in the pool.

"ARE YOU TURNING GAY ON ME?!" She yelled at Mike Newton.

**Please review if you liked! I accept signed and un-signed reviews!!  
****By the way, I am going on vacation soon, so the next chapter will not be up for a while. If you need some reading, check out Right by beinginfinite!!! (It's in my favorites list)  
****Thanks for reading!! Have a great weekend!!**


	44. Breaking the Rules

**Chapter 44  
****Destroying the Rules**

**AN: I'M BACK FROM VACATION! Sooooo sorry this took so long!! This chapter involves the rules from chapter 39, so here is a quick refresh:**

1. Alice is not allowed to give makeovers to Bella or Edward. She is free to makeover Emmett and Jasper as she wishes.  
2. No one is allowed to take Carlisle's Mercedes out for a joy ride.  
3. If anyone is arrested, no one will come to bail you out. And your mug shot must be brought home when you do return. If you return.  
4. Anything broken must be replaced before Esme arrives home.  
5. Emmett is not allowed to experiment on the puppies. He is not allowed to cut Tuffy or Amira's fur, for it will not go back. Nor is he allowed to attempt to teach Tuffy, Mimi, Coco, or Bentley how to hunt grizzly bears.  
6. Emmett is not allowed to try to cook real food for Renesmee, Jacob, Coco, or Bentley. Any normal dog food Coco and Bentley would like to eat must be bought.  
7. No one is allowed to use their special powers to manipulate anyone else.  
8. When sharing private moments, CLOSE YOUR DOOR! (cough, Emmett and Rosalie, cough)  
9. Go hunting as soon as you feel the need. Please remember we have three beings that actually live in the house with blood running through their veins.  
10. Emmett is not allowed to do anything stupid.  
11. Do not call Esme or Carlisle unless it is an emergency. They will most likely be…busy.

**I don't own Twilight.  
****Emmett POV**

I was swimming around naked in Mike's pool. This pool was really dirty, but I stayed in to make Jessica Stanley think Mike was gay. She had pulled him into the house by his ear, and we could hear him screaming at him. Pleasant would most definitely not be the word I used to describe her voice.

"Emmett, get out of the pool." Edward whispered from the tree. I got out and followed after my family. We ran back to our house and settled into the couches, all laughing hysterically. I stopped laughing after a while, but everyone else kept laughing. It was weird. They were all looking at me.

"What?" I asked. They kept laughing. "What?!"

"Uncle Em," Nessie was finally answering me. "You are…um…naked." I looked down and gasped. I was. I shot up the stairs and threw some clothes on. I ran back downstairs and saw that everyone except for Rose had left.

"Where is everyone?" I asked. I sat down next to Rosalie and pulled her against my chest.

"The mutt went home, Nessie is upstairs in Edward's old room, Alice and Jasper are in their room- but it doesn't sound like they have gotten busy yet-, and Bella and Edward went you know where." I rolled my eyes.

"Of course they did." I said. "Rosalie, are you looking for something to do?" I asked. She turned her head to me with a flirty smile on her face.

"Why? Do you have an idea?" She said in a seductive voice.

"Yes. But can we do your idea later? I have an idea that I'll need your help with?"

"Fine," She grumbled. "What is your idea?"

"It's time to break Eddie and Bella's rules." I said. She smiled and nodded. We made sure to block our thoughts so no matter what went down, Edward wouldn't know.

We ran up to Alice and Jasper's room. They didn't hear us come up since they were getting busy. Alice was giggling-which could never be a good thing. Normally, Alice would've seen us coming up here looking for her, but she wasn't concentrated on us at the moment. I heard Jasper laugh, and he sounded quite breathless. This was the perfect time to intervene. I winked at Rosalie, and she got ready. I put my hand on the doorknob and threw open the door.

"Are a certain pair of people getting busy?!" I yelled.

Alice was lying with her back against their bed. The only thing she was wearing was a pair of black, lacy panties and a matching bra. Her bra was unfastened and the sides were lying on either side, clearly what Jasper was about to take off. Jasper was on top of her with no shirt on. He was wearing only a pair of plaid blue boxers. When we came in, Alice shrieked and Jasper gasped. Jasper rolled over off of Alice, and Alice fastened her bra. She pulled a pillow in front of her stomach and chest.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Alice screamed at me.

"My, my, it looks like Jasper is a boxer's boy." Rosalie teased.

"Get out!" Alice yelled at us.

"No, we need your help." Alice and Jasper both sighed. "We need to break every one of Edward and Bella's rules. We need your help for the special talents and makeovers. We have already called Esme, so we have one rule down." Jasper and Alice turned and stared into each other's eyes. It lasted a very long time, and we started to wonder if they had totally ignored us.

Alice and Jasper turned back to us. "Sure, we'll do it." I heard the rush of wind as Nessie came running down the stairs. She stopped beside me.

"Heyyyyy, how's my favorite niece doing?" I asked.

"Em, I'm your only niece." I shrugged. "Can I help?"

"Wow, I never knew you had a rebel side in you." I teased. "I guess; but to be warned, so of them with require you seeing your parents naked and in…unusual positions." I said. Nessie cringed.

"OK, I won't help on those." She said. We nodded and got ready for the plan of action.

Alice and Jasper got dressed and followed Rose and me out to the forest. Nessie was ready in Alice's room with clothes and make-up for Bella. We kept the puppies inside the house so they wouldn't get hurt. Jasper had the video camera already filming, although no one- not even the most perverted pervert- would want to see what was going on. Alice and Rose were ready, as was I. I gave the signal, and off we went.

Alice and Rose raced to the front door and silently barged in. I silently crashed through the closet's window and ran through to their room. Edward and Bella were too busy to notice anyone entered. I winked at Rose. She took the blindfold and wrapped it around Bella's eyes. I took mine and wrapped it around Edward's eyes. They were both squirming, but I just had to hold down Edward. Alice grabbed Bella around the waist and pulled her out of the room. Bella was thrashing and yelling for Edward. I threw the blanket around Edward so I didn't have to look at him anymore than necessary. I took the rope out of my back pocket and tied him to his bed. His feet were connected to each of the bottom bed posts, and his arms were hooked to the top bed posts. I tied another rope around his torso, completely strapping him to the bed so he couldn't run off and save Bella. Jasper was still filming here, and Nessie had another camera ready.

"Emmett, why did you tie me down and kidnap Bella?!" Edward screamed at me.

"How did you know it was me?!"

"Your thoughts, idiot. Now tell me where Bella is!"

"Oh, my little friend. You must admit something to me, first."

"What?!" Edward yelled. I was shaking with silent laughter- he was so gullible.

"Say that Emmett Cullen is the awesomest, sexiest manpire in the entire universe!"

"Manpire?" Edward asked.

"Yes, man and vampire put together! Now get on with it!" I said.

"Emmett Cullen is the awesomest, sexiest manpire in the entire universe."

"Wise, you are. Cut the ropes I shall." I said, slipping into a Yoda voice. I grabbed the scissors out of my back pocket and cut the ropes. Edward untangled himself from the blanket and scurried into his closet. He came back out with a pair of khakis and a blue t-shirt on.

"You are a strange man, Emmett." He said as he passed me.

"That's manpire to you!" I yelled after him. He raced back into the house, followed by Jasper and I. We walked through the back door. Edward came to sudden stop- almost causing Jasper and I to run into him.

Bella was sitting in the chair in a tight, deep blue satin dress. Her hair was in an up-do and her make-up was fully done. She was wearing black heels and a deep pout on her face. Her eyes brightened as Edward walked through the door.

"W…w…wow, Bella. You look amazing." He managed to stutter out. I pushed him towards Alice. She grabbed him and ran him upstairs. Five minutes later, Edward returned in a suit. His tie was exactly the same color as Bella's dress.

"Oh my…" Bella trailed off. Jeez, the lust was so bad in here that Jasper was twitching. Ha ha, he looked possessed.

"Alright, go out on a date or something before Jasper explodes!" Alice yelled at them. They gave her a confused look, shrugged, and walked out the door. Edward's Aston Martin pulled out of the driveway a moment later.

"Why did you send them out?" Rosalie asked.

"It will be easier to break the rules if they aren't here." Alice said. "Alright, rule one is broken! What's next?" I went to the list we had pinned on the wall. I crossed off number one.

"The next one is not being allowed to take Carlisle's Mercedes on a joy ride." I said with a huge smile. Jasper tossed me the keys and grabbed the camera. I walked over to Rose. I leaned down and gave her a peck on the lips.

"I'll be back soon. I love you."

"I love you, too." I walked out the door with Jasper following after me, the camera already rolling. I got into Carlisle's car and started the engine. Jasper hopped in the passenger's seat. I put my foot on the gas, and off we went.

Two sidewalks, three-near crashes, and twenty-five speed bumps later, I spun back into the driveway. Jasper had the camera propped on the dashboard, and was gripping the seat. As soon as the car came to a stop, he bolted out of the car. I took the keys and grabbed the camera, and went inside. I was as giddy as a fat toddler in a free-candy store.

"That was awesome!" I cheered as I tossed the keys on the coffee table. Jasper was curled up in the corner with his arms around his knees. His eyes were huge and he looked like he was rocking back and forth. Alice was kneeling next to him trying to calm him down.

"Emmett, what did you do to him?!" Alice yelled at me. She was doing whatever she could to get Jasper to relax.

"I just took Carlisle's Mercedes on a joy ride. That was what you told me to do." I said. I tried to make myself sound innocent. Alice shook her head at me and continued to try to calm Jasper down. I walked over to Rose.

"Hey babe, wanna get started on the next rules?"

"Sure." She said. We walked over to the list. I crossed off number two. "Who is supposed to be put in jail?" Rosalie asked. We thought about it for a minute.

"I know." I said. I picked up the phone, dialed the number, and waited for the phone to ring.

"_Hello?"_ Charlie asked.

"Hello, Chief Swan, this is Emmett Cullen."

"_Hi, Emmett. Can I help you with something?" _

"I would just like to apologize for my brother's juvenile behavior. He should've known it was illegal to trespass on your property just to see Bella."

"_Thank you for the apology, Emmett."_ He paused. _"Wait, you are right. He trespassed. That is illegal! I should arrest him!"_

"Yes, but don't come to our house. He is not here. He is out on a date with Bella." I told him.

"_Oh, well do you know where he is?" _I gave him the information to him. _"Thank you, Emmett."_

"Anytime Chief. Oh, and don't forget to take his mug shot." I hung the phone back up. This was perfect. Edward would get arrested- a first for him- and when Bella bails him out, she we will break her own rule.

Rosalie hugged me around the waist. "Man, I love you." I laughed and kissed the top of her head.

*** **Half-hour later*****

Bella and Edward walked back through the door. Edward was holding a picture- his mug shot- in his right hand. Bella was holding his left.

"Emmett, you will pay for this." Edward growled, tossing his picture on the table. Jasper smiled for the first time since I took Carlisle's Mercedes out for a ride.

"Yeah, I'm sure I will." I said sarcastically. We hid the list before they came in so they couldn't see.

"We are going to go get changed." Edward said. They left through the back door. It was now light out so they wouldn't go back to what they were doing before. I pulled the list out of my back pocket and crossed off rule number three.

"Alright, number four!" I looked at the list. "Well, that's easy. I just won't repair whatever I break." I said. I smiled and crossed off number four.

"Emmett, do number five now. Edward and Bella will walk in just as you start breaking it." Alice told me. I nodded and got up. She tossed me the scissors and I went over to Tuffy.

"Hey, Tuffy! How you doing, little buddy?"

"Emmett, now!" Alice whispered. I rubbed my hand through Tuffy's fur. There had always been one patch of his hair that was longer than the others. I closed the scissors over them just as Edward and Bella were walking through the door.

"EMMETT, NO!" Bella screamed.

"Gosh, Emmett! That is against the rules!" Edward freaked. Bella grabbed the scissors from my hand and tossed them out the space where the window was supposed to be. They landed in the river.

"I hope you feel good about yourself if you stab a little fishy." I said. I pretended to pout and walked into the kitchen. Rose, Alice, and Jasper followed me in. Rosalie ran up and hugged me around the waist.

"That was perfect Emmett!" Rosalie said.

"You totally had them fooled!" Alice said.

"Ha ha, Bella felt so guilty after the fish line!" Jasper said. He held out his fist and I connected mine to his. I pulled out the list and crossed off number five.

"Man! I am on a roll today!" I said. I was over halfway done! "Alice, when is Jacob going to be here?"

"The future disappears in ten minutes, so get cooking Chef Emmett!" I got to work, making the most disgusting meal I could think of. I blended liver, sprouts, egg whites, sugar, peanut butter, beets, and figs. I over-grilled a piece of week old steak so it was like rubber. I poured the sauce over the steak and if I didn't know what was in it, I would say it looked pretty good. Rosalie was gagging by the time I finished.

"Wow that is the most disgusting thing I have ever smelt." Rosalie said, waving her hand in front of her nose. She peeked out of the door to make sure Edward and Bella weren't there. They had gone upstairs with Nessie. I brought the plate out to the front room and placed it on the coffee table. I sat down and Rose sat next to me.

And thank you to Alice's vision, Jacob Black walked through the door. He eyed the plate of food on the table, but since it was covered with vampire scent, he didn't inhale. That was good- he wouldn't be able to tell how horrid it smelled.

"Who's that for?" Jacob asked. His stomach growled- perfect.

"You; Edward made it." Edward, Bella, or Nessie are the only people he would trust to cook for him.

"Cool." Jake said. He cut a piece of beef, swabbed it in the sauce, and put the piece in his mouth.

He tried chewing, but couldn't get it to break up. After a few seconds, he spit out the 'meat'. "What the hell is that?! That is disgusting!" He started wiping his tongue.

"Jacob, maybe you should go tell Edward he is a horrible cook?" I suggested.

"I should. That man needs some cooking lessons after that dish." He still had a disgusted look on his face. "I did not know a dish that awful was possible." He said. He ran up the stairs to go tell Edward.

Rosalie and I busted up laughing. "He is so gullible!" Rosalie said through laughter. Alice came running down the stairs holding Jasper's hand.

"Jasper has the most perfect idea for the next rule!" Alice said. She was literally bouncing with excitement.

"Emmett, you're going to have to play along, or else it won't work." He turned to Alice. "You know what to do?"

"Obviously." She said.

"Good, go now. Rose, come in the kitchen with me." Rosalie raised an eyebrow but walked into the kitchen. Jasper leaned down and whispered the plan to me.

My hand was over my mouth trying to cover my laughter. Jasper was about to go to the kitchen and get in place.

"Emmett?" He asked. "Whatever you do, don't think of Rose." He said. And the plan was a go.

Edward walked downstairs and sat next to me on the couch. I turned the television to a baseball game and struck up a conversation with him. Alice had told Bella the plan, and she was now blocking my mind so I wouldn't let it slip. Alice, Bella, Renesmee, and Jacob snuck into the kitchen to watch. I winked at Jasper when Edward wasn't looking. And he sent the first wave of lust.

Edward's head turned towards to me. He had a flirty smile on his face. He shifted over so he was sitting closer to me.

I think I might be in for more than I bargained for.

Jasper sent another wave of lust at Edward. I was concentrating on the baseball game, not letting the lust affect me. Edward was staring at me, with his flirty smile on his face. I glanced at his face, and when I did, he winked. It was a good thing we told Bella about this; or we might be having some serious problems.

Stupid Jasper sent more. I was beginning to really doubt this plan. Edward slid over so our hips were touching, and laid his head against my shoulder. I sent a glare at Jasper, telling him to finish up. I was getting creep-ed out. My hands were clutching the edge of the couch; not wanting to react.

Jasper- apparently wishing to die- sent the strongest wave yet. This caused Edward to lift his head and plant a kiss on my cheek. While Edward's lips were still attached to my face, Jasper stopped all the lust. Edward snapped out of it, realized his was kissing me, and threw himself back. He hopped up from the couch.

"What the hell is wrong with me?!" Edward asked. He looked at me where I was glaring at Jasper. "Jasper," He whispered. Edward started chasing after Jasper until Jasper ran up behind Bella and put her in front of him.

"Hurt me and you hurt Bella." Jasper warned. Edward stopped.

"You will pay my friend. Oh, you will pay." Edward threatened. He was scaring me. He wrapped his arm around Bella's waist and went to his piano. Edward had spent part of the day disinfecting his piano; since he found out about what Jasper and Alice had done. I walked into the kitchen and everyone gave me high-fives. But instead of giving Jasper a high-five, I slapped him across the face.

"What was that for?" He asked while Alice glared at me.

"I didn't know you were going to send that much!" I yelled. He shrugged and pulled the list out of his back pocket. He took a pen off the counter and crossed off number seven. He looked at number eight and Alice laughed.

"Well this one shouldn't be too hard." Alice said. She leaned in to whisper to us. "Rose and Emmett, just…do your thing. Jasper and I will wait in our room, and I'll call Bella and Edward up. To get to our room you have to pass Emmett and Rosalie's. Just keep your door open."

"Perfect." Rosalie said. Jacob and Nessie went to the front room so they wouldn't see anything. Jasper and Alice ran to their room and Rosalie and I ran to ours. We got ready and in our places.

"EDWARD, BELLA! COME HERE! NOW!" Alice screamed. Rose and I began our job, but it's not like we minded having to do it.

We could hear Bella and Edward walking up the stairs. They walked down the hallway and…

"OH MY GOSH! SHUT YOUR DOOR!" Bella shrieked. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her covering her eyes and sprinting down the rest of the hallway. Edward rolled his eyes and followed after Bella. I pulled back from Rosalie and gave her a huge smile.

"Good job, babe."

"You, too." She said. We were already here, so we figured why not continue on with what we were doing.

"Alright, you two. Break it up- we have two rules left." Alice said from the doorway. She was covering her eyes and Jasper had a mischievous smile on his face. Rosalie and I were suddenly bombarded with a wave of disgust, and neither of us wanted to continue. We knew we actually did, but we couldn't convince ourselves of that. We pulled apart, got some clothes on, and pulled out the list.

"Two to go!" Jasper said, crossing off number eight. "How are we supposed to do number nine?"Jasper asked.

"I've been getting ready for this." Rosalie said."I haven't gone hunting in two weeks, and I have a plan." She said. We followed her down the stairs and snuck into the kitchen to watch.

Bentley was sitting in between Edward and Bella. Amira was on Bella's lap, Tuffy was on Jacob's lap, and Coco was asleep in her bed. Rosalie pretended to look deprived and slowly crawled over to in front of Edward and Bella. They both looked at her, but went back to watching whatever was on T.V. Rosalie went right up to the couch and eyed Bentley. She purposely let her thoughts slip and Edward gasped. Edward picked up Bentley and gave him to Nessie. He shoved Rosalie back, causing the glass table to shatter. Alice ran out, wrote the glass table on the broken board, and ran back.

"Go hunting, Rose!" Edward yelled.

"Ow!" Rosalie fake screamed. She ran over to me and buried her face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and rocked her back and forth. "He hurt me, Emmy!" She said. I decided to take this a bit further just to annoy Eddie.

"Don't worry baby, it's all right." I turned to Edward. "Edward, apologize!"

"You guys are just weird." Edward said shaking his head. He and Bella went back to the piano in the next room. Jasper and Alice ran over to Rosalie and me.

"Nice guys! And we only have one left!" Jasper said. He looked down and read from the paper. "Emmett is not allowed to do anything stupid."

"Well that shouldn't be hard." Edward said. Bella was standing next to him with her arms folded across her chest. "Thinking we wouldn't find out about you breaking the rules was pretty stupid."

"How'd you find out?!" I asked in shock.

"I can read your thoughts, Emmett. You kept forgetting to block them. The only time I didn't hear was when Bella was blocking you so Jasper could take advantage of his abilities."

"Darn!" I yelled. Alice shrugged and plopped down on the couch.

"It was fun while it lasted." We all sat down around in the living room. Alice was randomly looking around the room when she stopped on something. Her eyes narrowed to slits and she looked angry. We all looked where she was looking and saw a tiny, silver video camera.

"They wouldn't..." Alice hissed.

**SOOOOOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO BE POSTED!! Any guess on who 'they' would be?!?!**


	45. Busted

**Chapter 45  
****Busted**

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews! You guys are awesome! I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry about the delay on this chapter!!!**

**Wow, you guys are good! A ton of you guessed 'they' right! The most common guesses were Carlisle & Esme and Edward & Bella. My favorite guess had to have been Jessica and Lauren though! Now that would be hilarious…!**

**I don't own Twilight.  
****Esme POV- starts their first morning on Isle Esme**

We had come to Isle Esme for two reasons. To watch the kids and make sure our little puppies survived. OK, maybe three reasons, but can you expect us not to do the third thing? We are on an island, all alone, with no kids around with extra senses.

I sat down at the kitchen counter and opened the laptop. I typed in our password and the different screens came on. We had installed cameras in all the rooms of our house. We had also fixed the hand-held cameras to broadcast to us. I clicked on Rosalie and Emmett's room. They were just talking about some incident at an amusement park. I really hoped they hadn't caused turmoil to anybody.

Carlisle walked up next to me and kissed me on the cheek. I turned slightly and he leaned down to kiss me on the lips. He moved so quick that even I didn't see it coming. He sat down in the chair and I was seated on his lap. I was facing him and I brought our faces back together. In one of the seconds that we were apart, I noticed Emmett was no lying on top of Rosalie. I pulled back.

"Let me just close this first." I told him. He smiled and turned to look at the screen.

"Wait," Carlisle said. Emmett was reaching over to his bedside table. He picked up his cell phone and dialed my number. My cell phone was sitting next to the laptop, next to Carlisle's cell phone. "Don't pick up." My phone rang and rang, until it went to message. Emmett didn't leave a message, just hung up.

"_Wow, they must be really busy."_ Emmett said. Carlisle and I both rolled our eyes. He dialed Carlisle's cell phone. Carlisle let it ring. Emmett was going to try my phone again. I picked up on the first ring and decided to sound annoyed.

"What do you want Emmett?"

"_Well…"_ He said.

"Emmett, is anyone hurt, dead, sick, losing any body parts, or in jail?" I asked the questions I was actually concerned about. Believe me; if someone ended up in jail we would not be surprised. It wouldn't be the first time.

"_No."_ He said.

"Then leave us alone." I said. I snapped the phone shut just as Carlisle and I burst out laughing.

"_Well someone is in a good mood."_ Rosalie said sarcastically. Emmett tossed his cell phone on the table.

"_Now where were we?"_ Emmett asked Rosalie. We had stopped laughing and had just turned back to the screen.

"OK, I think we will shut this off now." I said just as Emmett was beginning to take Rosalie's shirt off. I clicked the 'x' and it quickly closed.

"Now where were _we_?" Carlisle quoted.

***********

I sat down and turned the monitor on. A little box came up.

_Hand camera in use; click to view. _

"Carlisle!" I said. Carlisle walked in from the other room and put his hands on my shoulder.

"Where is that from?" He asked.

"I think the kids." I said. "Let me see what they are using a camera for." I clicked on the link and the screen popped up. The boys were clearing the furniture out of the way as the girls sat in a circle.

"Truth or dare." Carlisle and I both said. We had played with them before, but we could always tell they filtered their truths and dares. We had never seen them play unsupervised.

We took the computer into the main room and hooked it up to the TV. A minute later, the picture was broadcasting on the large plasma. They were just getting started. My mind was wandering so I didn't here who Emmett picked. Carlisle saw the look on my face.

"Emmett picked Bella."

"_Bella, how many times have you and Edward gotten it on?"_ Emmett asked. My free hand flew up to cover my mouth in shock, while Carlisle just burst out laughing. Bella was trying to persuade to Emmett to change the question because of Nessie, but he wasn't budging.

"_2,538."_ Bella said. This time I was the one who burst out laughing and Carlisle was in shock. Nessie yelled out in shock and covered her ears. Aw, I felt bad for her. Rosalie and Jasper were teasing Edward that he had finally gotten some action. Bella picked Rosalie, who picked dare.

"_I dare you to make-out –tongue and all- with Jacob for one minute." _Bella said.

"Go Bella!" Carlisle cheered. I looked at him in disbelief. "I'm sorry, but I cannot wait to see this." I shrugged; I wanted to see this, too.

"_She really was meant to be a Cullen girl."_ Emmett said.

"She really was." Carlisle said. I nodded in agreement.

"_Are you guys going to get on with it? A minute is a long time. You might want to get started." _Edward said. Rosalie picked up one of _my _vases and threw it at Edward. Edward ducked and the vase crashed in and shattered the window.

"My window!" I screamed. Carlisle rubbed my leg as we saw Alice get up and go to a notepad on the wall.

"They had to make a list to keep track of everything they broke?" Carlisle asked. This was not going well.

"_You better make sure that the millisecond it hits one minute you tell me. Otherwise, you will not be seeing any part of me for a decade."_ Rosalie threatened Emmett- who was holding the stopwatch. I could hear the venom in her voice and I knew she wasn't kidding. Emmett looked terrified and nodded.

Rosalie and Jacob were both shoved into the middle and were participating in her dare. Carlisle and I were hysterically laughing at that site. Rosalie looked disgusted and Jacob just looked normal.

"_Time!"_ Emmett yelled. Rosalie shoved Jacob back to his seat who then stuffed his face with mints. Rosalie on the other hand, had a different idea.

She climbed onto Emmett and started kissing him with all her might. He was alarmed, but kissed her back. I crossed my fingers.

"Please don't let him take his pants off in front of Nessie. Please don't let him take his pants off in front of Nessie." I chanted. Carlisle chuckled.

After a minute, Rosalie was back in her original position with a very dazed Emmett next to her.

"_Thanks, babe. I had to get the taste of him out of my mouth."_ Rosalie told Emmett.

"_My pleasure…"_ Emmett said very much out of breath.

"They definitely held back when we played with them." Carlisle said to me. I nodded as Jacob complimented Rosalie on her kissing. Both our mouths dropped.

"_Excuse me?!"_ Nessie yelled at Jacob.

"_Of course you are better."_ Jacob tried to reassure her.

"_Excuse me?!"_ Edward yelled at Jacob. Edward was the over-protective father of his only daughter. He didn't want Nessie and Jacob together until Renesmee was fully grown.

"_Please take your turn before I grow another foot to put in my mouth." _Jacob said to Rosalie. She looked around the circle and decided on Jasper. She asked him if he was still a virgin on his wedding day.

"I am learning way too much about them right now." I said shaking my head.

"_No, I didn't."_ Jasper answered. Alice was surprised? She could've seen his answer, but she must have known before. Wouldn't she be mad if this was the first time she heard? Emmett started teasing Jasper before he answered the next part of the question.

"_Alice, of course. She is the only person who I have ever been in love with."_ Alice and Jasper exchanged a glance. That glance always reminded me on how much of soul mates they were. They didn't need Edward's power- they could tell what each other were thinking by their eyes.

Emmett now teased Alice, and Rosalie was trying to get Jasper to answer the last part of the dare.

"_NO!"_ Edward yelled. It was so loud that I jumped. Carlisle rubbed my arm.

"_On Edward's piano."_ Jasper answered where it was lost. Carlisle and I were both hysterically laughing at the expressions on Edward and Bella's faces.

"They will never look at that piano the same." Carlisle said shaking his head while still laughing.

"_Jasper and Alice, you will be paying for that."_ Edward warned. I cannot wait to see what Edward came up with. Emmett could come up with some pretty awful ideas, but when Edward was coming up with a revenge plan? Sleep with one eye open.

"_Edward, truth or dare?"_ Jasper said.

"_Dare."_ Edward said. He wasn't risking revealing anything in front of Nessie. Rosalie and Emmett could be the most public with their relationship, but Edward and Bella could give them a run for their money.

"_I dare you to call Charlie and tell him you used to spend every night in Bella's room." _Jasper said.

"He's going to get arrested if he does that!" Carlisle said. I just giggled at the thought of Charlie arresting Edward. Edward dialed the number and waited for Charlie to pick up. They talked for a little bit.

Carlisle and I were hysterical when Charlie started freaking out. Edward kept giving him innuendos, causing Charlie to freak out more. But the most hilarious part was when Bella took the phone.

"_Oh, Edward."_ Bella breathed. Bella?! Didn't she value her father's sanity?!

"_BELLA!"_ Charlie yelled and slammed the phone onto the receiver. The kids burst out laughing and the phone rang again. It was Charlie calling to talk to Carlisle or I.

"They better not pick up that phone." Carlisle hissed.

"_Dr. Carlisle Cullen speaking. Can I diagnose your issues?"_ Emmett imitated perfectly in Carlisle's voice.

"Can I diagnose your issues?! Excuse me?!" Carlisle yelled.

"They are going to be dead when we get home." I growled.

"_Um, Carlisle this is Charlie. Edward just called to tell me that he used to spend every night at Bella's house. Do you know if that was a joke or something?"_

"If they value their lives they will tell him it was a joke." Carlisle growled.

"_No, Chief. Edward was one hundred percent telling the truth. In fact I was the one who suggested it. Don't worry; I made sure Edward kept his morals. You know how teenage boys can get around a woman in a dark, romantic setting."_

"I never told him that!" Carlisle yelled as I growled next to him.

"_What is wrong with your family?!" _Charlie yelled at Emmett.

"You have no idea, Charlie." I said. "No idea."

***

I don't think we will ever be playing truth or dare with them again. Alice had to eat as much food as Jacob, which was seriously a huge mound of food. Jacob admitted him and Nessie have slept together.

I wasn't surprised by this- Nessie had talked to me before she did. She wanted an opinion on whether or not if it was a good idea. I told her it wasn't a good idea to disobey her father, but I understood that she was totally in love with Jacob. I promised her to keep her secret.

Nessie revealed she walked in on Emmett dressed up as Britney Spears singing 'Oops, I did it again.' I'm honestly not surprised by that. Especially since I had seen the video she posted on YouTube.

Emmett of course had the craziest dare. He had to go skinny dipping in Mike Newton's pool. They had brought the camera so we could see everything. I guess my hope of him not taking his pants off in front of Nessie was wasted. I closed my eyes during his dare. I had walked in on Rosalie and Emmett, but it didn't want to see that again. They had yelled at me for walking in on them, but they were doing it in the garage! That isn't exactly a private place.

And then Jessica Stanley walked in and accused Mike of being gay. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised. Then everyone had raced home, and Emmett was lounging on the couch until Nessie reminded him he had no clothes on.

**********

This day had been just as interesting. They spent hours breaking all the rules Edward and Bella created. Emmett was of course the mastermind, but he got Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper to help.

Emmett was so busy having fun that he forgot to block his thoughts. Edward had just told him.

"_It was fun while it lasted."_ Alice said shrugging. They all sat down around the living room. Alice's eyes roamed around the room and landed on the tiny camera in the corner. Her eyes narrowed to slits. She actually looked like a vampire.

"_They wouldn't…"_ She hissed.

"Oh, yes, we would." Carlisle said with a smirk.

**Sooooo sorry about the delay!! I know it wasn't that funny, but next chapter is**_** the talk **_**with Nessie. :-) **


	46. The Talk

**Chapter 46  
The Talk**

**AN: THE MOMENT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!! It is time for…the talk with Nessie.  
I don't own Twilight.**

**Emmett POV (Not expecting him, now were ya?!)**

I sat down on the couch in the basement and turned on the baseball game. Everyone else was doing something, besides me.

Coco, Bentley, Tuffy, and Amira were wandering around the main house. Tuffy had been d

Alice was on the phone with Carlisle and Esme trying to explain the whole truth-or-dare thing. I offered to help, but Alice didn't think that would be the best idea.

Jasper was reading some new book of his about the Civil War. I didn't really get it. The Confederates lost. What more did you need to know?

Rose was in our room online shopping. I also didn't get the point of that. If you have just one bag in a neutral color, it works for every outfit. Oh my gosh. Did I just say neutral? This is what I get for offering to carry Rose's bags at the mall for her.

I'm pretty sure Nessie was at the cottage, but I don't know if Jake was with her. I'm assuming not ever since Edward and Bella found out about their little secret. I never knew my Ness was such a rebel!

Edward and Bella were in Edward's old room. Not exactly sure I wanted to know what they were doing.

"We were talking, Emmett." Edward said glaring at me. He and Bella were coming down the stairs holding hands. They both looked worried and Bella was biting her lip.

"About…?" I trailed off wagging my eyebrows at Bella. She rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at me. I swatted the pillow down before it hit me in the face. It landed right in front of where Tuffy was running down. Tuffy yelped and bolted back up the stairs.

"Sorry, Tuffy!" I yelled after him. Edward was shaking his head at me.

"Throwing pillows at little puppies; you should be ashamed." I rolled my eyes.

"Do you guys need something?" I asked them.

"Uh, yeah," Bella said biting her lip

"We had…talked…to Nessie before, but it is clear she didn't listen. Could you talk with her?"

"Talk? What do I need to talk to her about?" Edward and Bella both raised their eyebrows. "Oh."

"Can you just try? And keep it PG?" Bella asked.

"PG with that topic might be kinda hard." I said. Edward glared at me but I got up off the couch and ran to the cottage. The door was closed but unlocked, and I could smell the only one here was Ness. I had an idea.

I threw open the door and stormed inside. I imitated Edward's angry voice perfectly.

"RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN! WE NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK!" I yelled. I heard her intake of breath and the faster pounding of her heart. I threw open the door to Ness's bedroom and when she saw me, she exhaled in relief. She was sitting on her bed

"Uncle Em, why do you do that to me?!" She wailed with her hand over her heart. I shrugged.

"Because it's fun." Then I got serious. "But I do need to talk to you." I sat down on the edge of her bed and then hopped up when I remembered something.

"What?" She asked.

"Is this where you and Jake…" I trailed off.

"No." Ness said glaring at me. I breathed out in relief and sat down. "What do you need to talk to me about?"

"You and Jacob." I said while wagging my eyebrows. Her eyes widened.

"Did my parents hire you to do this?" This girl was good.

"Yes, but I've been wanting to talk to you about it." She sighed. "So did you have fun?" I asked.

"Uncle Em!" She yelled. I stared at her until she gave up. "Yeah, I did."

"Did you use protection?" I asked. She rolled her eyes but nodded. There was actually a point I wanted to ask her. "Why did you do it Nessie? Your parents asked you not to, yet you still did." She waited a long time before answering.

"I wanted to have a choice." She paused. "All my life, everything has been planned out. Who I would fall in love with, when I would stop aging, what I would grow up to be, almost everything has already been decided for me. I wanted to feel like I was able to do what I wanted. I wanted to feel human. I wanted to know that this was one thing I had complete control over."

She did it because she felt like she had to. My little Ness had betrayed her parents because she wanted to make sure she had free will. And I could swear I saw a tear starting to form inside the corner of her eye.

I wrapped my arms around her.

"Ness, I'm so sorry." I said. A tear escaped the corner of her eye. I wiped it away with my thumb. "I never knew it was like that."

"I guess I just wanted to feel normal." She said.

"Was the only reason you did it because of that?"

"That was part of the reason. I did want to, or I thought I did."

"Thought?" I asked. She sighed.

"We never actually did. We were all ready, and were about to start, but then I didn't want to. I felt guilty and just got really upset. Jacob said we didn't have to." She was looking out the window. "I know you probably hate me, and my parents probably do, too."

"Ness," She still didn't look over at my nickname for her. I was the only one allowed to call her that. "Ness, look at me." She reluctantly turned to me again. Tears were streaming down her face. "Ness, I don't hate you. Your parents don't hate you. It is impossible for anyone who meets you to hate you. We don't care what you did or didn't do. We will always love you. If you went out and killed a hundred humans, we wouldn't love you any less.

"If you want to go to Jacob's and be a naughty little vampire, go ahead." Ness rolled her eyes. "We will always support, you and we will never be mad at you. Your dad may get upset, but he will never hate you. You are the only kid he will ever have, and he is paranoid something is going to happen to. That is why he freaks out whenever he hears about something you and Jacob are doing. He is terrified he is going to lose you."

Nessie stared at her room for a long time before answering. "You are the first one I have ever believed."

"Who else have you told?" I asked wiping the tears off her cheeks.

"I asked Grandma her opinion before. She told me that Dad was afraid of me getting hurt, but I didn't believe her. Jake said the same thing, but of course ended it with him saying he was macho enough to protect me." I laughed.

"I could take the mutt any day." I said. Ness smiled. The tears were all gone.

"To be honest, I think you could, too." I smiled a mischievous smile.

"I think Jacob Black would be very interested to know you think he is a wimp." I teased.

"You wouldn't." She hissed. I pulled my cell phone out of pocket. "Dial that phone and I will put all the videos I have of you signing Britney Spears on YouTube." I looked at the camera on the table. I tried to grab it but she picked it up before I could. I reached for it again but she took it and put it inside her shirt.

"You try and grab it and my father will most likely not let you live."

"You are one evil little half-vampire." I said. She smiled in victory, so I dialed Jacob's phone number. She stared at me in disbelief.

The phone started to ring. Ness pulled it out of my hand and chucked it across the room. It smacked into the wall and crumbled to a dozen pieces.

"That was my new cell phone!" I whined.

"Woops." She said with an innocent expression on her face. I had a plan and I made sure the expression on my face didn't give it away. I grabbed her cell phone off her bedside table and dialed. Ness just glared at me; she wouldn't destroy her own phone.

"Nessie?" Edward asked. Ness was shaking her head at me. Her eyes were like slits.

"Edward, it's me! Help! Your daughter is trying to seduce me!" I jumped off her bed while I was talking. I snapped the phone shut and tossed it back to her. "Good luck." And then I bolted from her room.

I heard her growl as I ran away. I was surprised not to see Edward running back to the cottage. I ran through the back door and looked at Edward questioningly.

"I knew you were lying." He said and he and Bella walked out of the room.

"How?" I yelled after him.

"I saw it weeks ago." Alice said walking into the kitchen.

"Stupid pixie." I muttered. Jasper glared at me as he followed Alice.

I was alone again, so I decided to go online. I opened my laptop and logged onto YouTube. I saw that one of my subscriptions added ten new videos. I looked at the username and cussed under my breath.

_R.C.C. rulz. da. world._

"Who's laughing now?" Ness said. I twirled around and saw her standing by the back door with an evil smile on her face. "By the way, I knew about that vision."

**Please review!! Just a head's up; I am starting school again, so updating might be slow. I will try to post as much as possible, but it may be days in between chapters!**

**Thank you so much for reading!**


	47. Squirt Gun Fight

**Chapter 47  
****Squirt Gun Fight**

**AN: Sorry this took so long, but I was having serious writer's block! If you have any ideas for me, I'd love to know!!!!**

**(Btw, I have started another comedy!! So go check it out!)**

**I don't own Twilight.  
****Rosalie POV**

I sat down on the couch next to an embarrassed Emmett. The rest of the family had known about the vision weeks ago, but Alice had begged me not to say anything. As the day got closer, I kept dropping hints, none of which Em understood.

"Em, don't worry about it." I said. Nessie had uploaded videos of Emmett dancing as Britney Spears. He was actually pretty good if you could look past the dancing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

"Alice begged me not to." He glared at me. "How about I make it up to you?" I asked and leaned in to kiss Emmett. I ran my fingers through his hair. His arms started to run up my shirt when someone cleared their throat.

"Hello, niece is in the house! Please wait until I'm in the cottage about a mile away for that." She said shaking her head. She walked into the kitchen.

"I'm bored now." Em said. Alice squealed and rushed downstairs.

"Everyone down here now!" She shrieked. Everyone was down stairs in the next second. "Since everyone is super bored--"

"Actually, Bella, Nessie, and I weren't bored." Edward said.

"Shut it Eddie-pooh," Alice snapped back at him. "Everyone will enjoy it so just play along!"

"What are we going to enjoy?" Jasper asked.

"Squirt gun fight!" She exclaimed. Everyone was excited by this. Esme never let us play because she was afraid it would damage the house. And having puppies involved would make the battle even more awesome!

"Girls vs. guys!" Emmett shouted. Alice looked upset but agreed.

"Fine." She grumbled. "That means we get Amira and Coco, and you get Tuffy and Bentley."

Edward came back up from the basement with his arms full of giant squirt guns. He tossed one to everyone. He also had four little squirt guns.

"See if the puppies would be able to use these." Each of the puppies ran up to get one. Well, Amira kinda appeared next to Edward and Bentley flew there.

"Alright you have five minutes to form a strategy and fill up your water guns. Guys fill them up outside, girls fill them up in the kitchen." Alice said.

"Ready, set, go!" Emmett shouted. The boys, Tuffy, and Bentley ran outside.

"Girls come here. Bella block us." Alice whispered. Bella nodded and we huddled around her. "OK, so everyone go put on their most revealing bathing suit, but put your clothes back on over it."

"Ours are at the cottage." Nessie said pointing to her and Bella.

"I saw this weeks ago and I picked up some bikinis for you." Bella opened her mouth to protest. "You'll look amazing Bella and Edward is going to practically pass out."

"What should I wear?" I asked her.

"Wear your red one from Paris last year," She said.

"The v-neck?" Alice nodded.

"I already have mine on so I'll fill up the guns. Bella, if I get out and touch my nose, stop firing and duck." Bella looked confused but nodded. Alice shot into the kitchen and we raced upstairs.

Two minutes later we were ready. Alice checked the timer and told us we had one minute. We followed her lead and crept outside, with Bella blocking us.

"Oh we were 'out' of water so I filled them up with lemonade. But the guys will think it looks like something else." We had to cover our mouths so not to expose us.

The boys were lined up with their water guns. They weren't aimed but, were ready to attack. Bentley and Tuffy were standing in front, with their squirt guns attached to their sides. Alice and Edward had figured out some way to attach a string so that when their tails wagged they would shoot water.

The rules were simple. Once you gun was out of water, you couldn't refill it. If you shot anyone who wasn't part of the game, like mailmen, delivery guys, or anyone that wasn't playing at the beginning, your whole team lost. No running inside to hide and you could not shoot someone when they ran out of water. Once someone ran out, they were out, and went to stand on the sides.

We lined up behind the guys about ten feet away. The timer that was on the side beeped, signaling we could fire whenever.

"They're late." Emmett complained. The guys all dropped their ready positions and waited for us to come. Oh, would they be surprised. Alice nodded.

And we ambushed them from behind. Their entire backs were soaked before they turned around. Emmett cussed under his breath and tried to position is water gun, but the lemonade from ours had made a coating on the outside of his. He dropped it on the ground.

"Rose," He growled at me. My gun was pointed at his face and he had nothing to defend himself with. I shot him straight in the face.

"Yes?" I asked sweetly.

Amira and Coco could've been our biggest advantage. Amira would go invisible and run around under people's legs and in tight places. Her squirt gun was still visible, but it was so small almost no one noticed it. Coco used her tracking senses to know who to aim at. One of us would say, 'Coco,' and point to who we wanted. The guys had tried to use her, but we had made sure she knew to only respond to us.

"Now." Alice yelled. All the girls ripped off our clothes to reveal our very skimpy bikinis. All the guys froze and stared at us with their mouths hanging wide open. We took advantage of that and soaked their fronts just as much as their backs.

After about thirty minutes, Alice and Nessie were out for our team, and Edward and Jasper were out. All the puppies were out. The mutt was distracted so I shot him right under the waist, making it look like he wet himself. I laughed hysterically as he tried to fire back at me but his water supply ran out mid-stream. He stomped over to the side.

As I was laughing, Emmett soaked my stomach. I fired back at him. The lemonade continued for a minute, and then ran dry. Emmett was laughing at me, so Bella hit him square in the chest. That shut him up.

Emmett was trying to get Bella as wet as possible, but Bella was playing smartly. She still had half a tank of lemonade left, while Emmett had a little less than a quarter left. I heard a car door close and looked over to Alice.

"Carlisle and Esme." She mouthed to Nessie and me. I smiled and waited for it to happen. I could hear them walking around to the backyard.

Bella glanced over at Alice hearing the car door. Emmett didn't notice it. Alice waited ten seconds and then lightly touched her nose.

Emmett pulled back on the trigger. Bella ducked just as Carlisle and Esme were walking around the corner. The jet of water missed Bella completely. Esme moved out of the way, but it was too late for Carlisle. The stream of water hit him straight in the chest, soaking his button down shirt.

"We won." Alice said.


	48. Welcome Home!

**Chapter 48  
Welcome Home!**

**AN: I am sooooo sorry for the long update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
****Here is a chapter for you Carlisle and Esme fans!**

**I don't own Twilight. (Thank you to VampireChic666 for her help!!)  
****Esme POV**

_Please prepare for landing. _The pilot announced. The plane began to shift downward as we neared the airport. Carlisle reached over and took my hand.

"It was amazing while it lasted." He said, lifting our intertwined hands to kiss the back of mine.

"Amazing," I repeated quietly as the plane's wheels touched down on the runway.

"They are going to be very upset." Carlisle said.

"We don't know that. They might be scared_ we_ are going to be upset." He laughed.

"I wonder if Nessie is traumatized."

"With Emmett around I wouldn't rule that possibility out."

The plane doors opened and we stood up. We waited for the attendants to move out of the way, and then exited the plane. Carlisle wrapped his arm around my waist as we made our way to the baggage claim. We had to wait an incredibly long time, but the bags eventually came out and we were in our car on the way back to our house.

I was very distressed about the list of things they broke. We saw them break the window and one vase, which I wasn't worried about. I was worried about which other vase they broke. I have an antique vase that I adore, and if they broke it? Run.

"Esme, what's wrong?" Carlisle asked sensing my tension.

"I hoped they didn't break my vase."

"The one I gave you on our honeymoon? They know you love that vase; they would be extra careful around it."

"I hope so." I said as my phone beeped.

"Who is it?" Carlisle asked. I flipped opened my cell phone.

"Alice. Let me see what she says,

'_If you see me touch my nose, move out of the way.'"_

"Move out of the way?" Carlisle asked.

"I have no idea. But I guess we'll find out soon enough." Carlisle turned into the driveway. There was a lot of shrieking coming from the house and Emmett cussing.

"What are they doing?" Carlisle asked as he pulled into the garage. We got out of the car, but Carlisle stopped staring at our shelves. "The squirt guns are gone." He said.

"They better not be inside the house." I threatened.

Carlisle wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me out of the garage. "They are in the back." Carlisle said. He motioned for me to be quiet and sneak into the backyard.

Alice, Rosalie, Nessie, Edward, Jacob, Tuffy, Amira, Bentley, and Coco were sitting on the side near the house. Bella and Emmett were standing in the middle of the backyard with loaded squirt guns pointed at each other. Bella was routinely glancing at Alice, and I could tell she noticed us come in. Emmett hadn't realized we were here.

I looked over to Alice to see if she was going to stop the game. Carlisle and I stepped around the corner, coming into full view. Alice slyly touched her nose. Since I trusted Alice, and figured that if it was important enough to text me, I followed her directions. I moved out of the way from where I was standing in front of Carlisle just as Emmett pulled down the trigger.

Bella ducked just as the stream of water from Emmett's gun began to flow. I took another step over so I didn't get hit, but Carlisle didn't have time to move. The stream of water hit him straight in the chest, completely soaking his shirt.

My mouth fell open as did everyone else's. Carlisle was fuming glaring at Emmett.

"We won." Alice said. Carlisle slowly lifted his arm and pointed one finger to inside the house. Everyone quickly got up and walked inside the house without another word. They were all soaking wet, and I did not want them ruining my furniture.

"Do not sit down. Put on some dry clothes, and girls, cover up." I said. "Emmett, when you are changed could you please dry off Tuffy, Mimi, Coco, and Bentley?" Tuffy morphed into a towel, and when he turned back into his cute puppy self, he was all dry. "OK, could you dry off Mimi, Coco, and Bentley?"

"Sure." Emmett said carefully lifting Mimi and Coco off the floor. Bentley flew up the stairs with him and everyone else went to change. Carlisle walked up the stairs to change his shirt. I followed him up.

He was in our closet shaking his head. He pulled his wet shirt over his head and turned around to face me. My breath caught in my throat as it always did as I stared at his pale, muscular, perfect chest. Carlisle smirked at put his finger under my chin. He I stared tilted my head up and he bent down to kiss me. He lingered the kiss for a minute, and then pulled back. He smiled at me and pulled a blue shirt out of the dresser next to us. He slipped the shirt over his neck and

"Looks like Emmett isn't too happy to see us." I joked. Carlisle laughed.

"Let's get this over with." He sighed. He took my hand and walked downstairs. When we got to the bottom, Emmett put his hands up.

"It isn't my fault she ducked."

"I was simply trying to fight for my team. I heard my dearest mother and father walk in, and I was moving to give them the grand entrance they deserved." Bella said in a sugar sweet voice making Rosalie burst out laughing. She turned to us. "Speaking of which, welcome home."

"Thank you, Bella." I told her. "It is so nice of you to think of us."

Emmett picked up one of the squirt guns. "It's not my fault that this squirted on you when I was intending it for Bella." Emmett's fingered slipped, and he accidentally shot out a stream of water directly at me. It splashed all over my satin purple shirt.

"Now how do you explain that one, Uncle Em?" Nessie asked grinning. I put my hand on my stomach to see how wet it was, but the water was sticky.

"Why is the water sticky?" I asked Emmett.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen," Alice hissed at him.

"What?" He asked.

"That shirt is a one of a kind Paris original. And you picked one of the girl's guns up." She nearly growled. Jasper had to hold her down so she wouldn't go slap him.

"Why does Emmett using a girl's squirt gun make a difference?" Carlisle asked.

"We filled them with lemonade." Rosalie said smirking.

"Just lemonade," Jasper said closing his eyes. He sounded more relieved than I had heard in a while. I looked at him questioningly. "I thought it was another yellow liquid." I rolled my eyes.

"No matter what was in the guns, what were you doing playing a game I strictly didn't want you playing?"

"Well, if you didn't want us playing it, why did we keep the squirt guns?" Jasper said. I glared at him. "I'll shut up now."

"Look who's finally catching on." Rosalie muttered.

"But clearly you're not." Edward muttered.

"Ah-hem," Carlisle said. They quieted down and looked at us.

"Edward and Bella, you are free to do what you want tonight." I said.

"But she ducked!" Emmett yelled.

"Fine." I said. "Edward, you are free to do what you want. Bella you are not allowed to spend the night with Edward."

"Esme, but isn't that punishment to me? And I didn't do anything wrong." Edward asked in his most polite tone.

"Alright listen," Carlisle said. "Bella, you can go with Edward. You didn't know that ducking would get me wet."

"Same with Nessie, Jasper, and Rosalie." I added. "Jacob, you should probably be getting home. Your dad will be wondering about you." They all smiled at me. Rosalie kissed Emmett and walked upstairs. Jacob ran into the woods and phased. Nessie, Edward, and Bella said good night to us and started to run back to the cottage. But Jasper hesitated looking at Alice.

"Don't worry, Jazz. I'll be up in a minute." She winked at him and he smiled. He slowly walked up the stairs and into their room.

"Esme, did you get my text message? Yes, you did. Which means you knew my warning about you should duck. I didn't have to send you the text message, but I did. I know you read the message out loud and Carlisle heard it. It isn't my fault you decided not to listen to my very thoughtful warning."

I glanced at Carlisle for a moment. After a minute, he nodded, and Alice squealed.

"Thank you thank you so much!!" She shrieked, giving us both a hug. She bolted up the stairs.

"Every time!" Emmett yelled looking at where Alice went. He looked back to us.

"Mr. Emmett, what are we going to do with you?" Carlisle said.

Emmett gulped.

**I am soooooooo sorry for taking so long!! Please let me know of any ideas for what Carlisle and Esme should tell him!!**


	49. Didn't see that one coming, psychic?

**Chapter 49  
****Didn't see that one coming, psychic?**

**AN: I am really sorry about really long update time, but my family has been going through a very tough time, so it has been hard to write funny. Also, LOTS of schoolwork didn't help either, and I am failing math. NOT good.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Edward POV**

I listened closely until they were distracted, and when I heard they were, I flinched.

'OK, we're ready.' I texted Esme.

'Send in Nessie.' She replied. I nodded to my daughter. She smiled and took off to the main house with cell phone in hand. I listened again.

'They didn't notice. Is Emmett ready?' I sent to Esme.

'Yes, Rosalie is ready for further instruction.' She sent back.

'What do I do now?' Rosalie sent.

'Pick up Coco. Then go to the porch under your bedroom window.' I replied.

'Pick up Bentley, and then lower the harness down to Rosalie. Attach the clip to the window, and then lower the smaller harness. Clip that one to the same place.' I sent to Carlisle. I listened until I was sure he was set, and then sent the instructions to Rosalie.

'Put your legs through the harness and pull up over your shoulders.' I sent to Rosalie.

'Jeez, it sounds like someone is giving me a wedgie.' I rolled my eyes.

'Clip the smaller harness to the front clip on your stomach. Slip Coco inside and wait for Esme.' I sent another one to Carlisle.

'Do the same thing to your window, and pass down Bentley to Esme when you are ready.' A few minutes later Carlisle replied.

'We are ready. Esme and Rosalie are in place. Emmett and Nessie have their cell phones and are ready.'

It was time to send one to Jacob. 'We are set. Wait in the forest about a minute away. I'll text you about thirty seconds before for your cue.'

'You've got it, leech.' I rolled my eyes. Bella was looking over my shoulder and a devious smile came onto her face. She grabbed my phone.

'Call me that again and you will never be allowed to date my daughter.' She smirked as she closed the phone. I could very faintly hear him gulping in the forest down the driveway.

'You've got it, all mighty honor king sir.' He replied back almost immediately. I laughed; she was genius. I took Bella's hand and we walked back to the house. We waved to Esme where she rested ready on the porch. She smiled and winked.

Carlisle was ready with his cell phone inside the house, one hand on Nessie's shoulder. Nessie was sitting next to Emmett, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. By touching her, we realized Alice couldn't see any of them. See any of them, if she were paying attention. But she and Jasper were a little busy right now.

I nodded and we put the plan into action. Bella sat down next to Nessie.

"Nessie, I need to get a few things at the mall. Would you like to come with me?" I listened and heard that Alice was still slightly distracted, but was paying attention to what Nessie and Bella were saying. I quickly sent the message to Jake. I nodded to Nessie to continue.

"Sure! Should we ask Alice if she wants to come?"

"No, it's fine. I'm sure she won't want to come. She's busy."

"What?!" Alice shrieked from upstairs. There was a quick scrambling from Jasper and Alice's room, and Jasper sighed. Alice came bolting down the stairs. She had just her underwear on and one of Jasper's jacket covering her front, but that didn't mean she was covered to Jacob who was just approaching. Plus, she was wearing a very lacy black and red thong, perfect for the angle Jacob was coming at.

"HA!" He screamed, making her jump. He pulled out his phone and started taking pictures of her in her underwear. While Alice was trying to get the phone out of his hands, the jacket fell off, making Jacob laugh even harder. Meanwhile, the plan was set in action.

"Edward!" Rosalie yelled at the top of her lungs. I pretended to look scared for Alice, and then sprinted up the stairs. I hopped out of my window and joined Rosalie near the garage. I was close enough to Coco for me to be disguised to Alice.

Rosalie and I snuck into the garage and silently pulled the door open. We lifted up Alice's Porsche and carefully brought it into the forest. We made sure she couldn't see us, and then started sprinting. We brought it to the treaty line where Seth, Embry, and Quil were waiting.

"Geez, how much money do you guys have?!" Embry said looking at the car.

"Focus, mutts. You know what to do." They nodded and we sprinted back. Rosalie hooked herself back onto the clips and Carlisle pulled her up. He went to help Esme and Jasper while Rosalie fixed her outfit. I went back into the living room to hold my cover.

**Esme POV**

I hooked onto the trees, swinging back and forth on the cable. I glanced into Jasper and Alice's room. He was just slipping his pants on, but still had no shirt on. It was time.

I was about to swing in when I realized the window was closed. I tried to flag him down by waving frantically, but he wasn't paying attention. I rolled my eyes and pulled a twig off the tree. I chucked it at his window. He jumped when it hit, but opened the window. I swung in as he was putting his shirt on.

He gave me a look that said, 'I can't believe I am actually doing this.' I shrugged.

"She is going to kill me!" He whispered as I flung open the doors to their closet.

"Emmett and Edward- maybe. You- never." I whispered back. We gathered as many of their clothes in our arms as possible and shoved them into black garbage bags. We left her wedding dress and the dress she was wearing when she and Jasper met. Those two she would really kill us for. Carlisle came in the room meaning Rosalie and Edward were set. Rosalie came in two minutes later and also helped us. We gathered all the bags and sprinted out the windows.

The whole while we were running Jasper was muttering, "I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead." Rosalie rolled her eyes every single time.

We eventually got to the treaty line where Seth was sitting in the front seat checking himself out in the mirror. Embry and Quil were sitting on the back, pretending to wave like princesses. Embry would blow a kiss every once in a while and Quil would pretend to be choked up and put his hand over his heart.

Seth was adjusting his mirror to get a better look when he saw us. His eyes froze on the reflection in the mirror. Rosalie waved, and then a flash crossed Seth's eyes. A mischievous smile crossed Seth's face.

"Hey guys, you're doing it all wrong. You forgot to greet each other in the foreign way first."

"Right!" Quil shouted. Him and Embry leaned forward and kissed each other on the cheek. When they were turning to kiss on the other cheek, Rosalie decided it was time to make her appearance.

"BOO!" She shouted, jumping. Embry shrieked and fell forward. His and Quil's lips met. They normally would've realized it right away and stopped, but Jasper sent a wave of love at them. They proceed to have a full on make out session. I was too hysterical to cover my eyes at the sight.

"Jasper!" Carlisle scolded. Jasper smiled and stopped, and both the boys broke away. They both knew it was Jasper.

"Dude, what the hell?!" Embry shouted.

"My true apologies, your heinesses." He laughed. They both blushed.

"OK, here are the clothes. Stick to the plan." Rosalie said as we tossed the bags to them. They ripped them open and started to decorate the forest with Jasper and Alice's clothes.

Embry ripped open a bag they contained some of Jasper and Alice's more _private _clothing. Embry cringed and walked over to Jasper. He simply placed the bags that they had collected with things like that in Jasper's arms.

"You can keep these." He said, cringing again. He smiled before we ran back to the house. Jasper put the clothes in the back of Rosalie's closet, and went down fully dressed to join his near naked wife.

"Hon, why don't you go get some clothes on?" She nodded and raced up the stairs. I heard her go into her room and open the doors to her closet.

And then she let out an ear piercing scream.

**SOOO SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!! I WILL TRY AND GET THE NEXT CHAPTER UP SOONER!!!**


	50. They're going to get it

**Chapter 50  
****They are gunna get it**

**AN: O.M.G. If there are twelve reviews on this chapter, there will be 1,000 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know we can get there!! OK and I'll make a deal to get you motivated to review!!! The 1,000****th**** reviewer will get the chapter dedicated to them AND will be allowed to give me a name to be a character in the chapter. If it is a signed review, I will PM you. If you don't log in to review, give a name in your review!!!**

**This chapter is dedicated to coolestdudehere2000 for their amazing and lengthy review!!!**

**LOVE! Here is the next chapter!  
****I don't own Twilight.  
****Alice POV**

I was downstairs, in front of my family, with just a pair of panties and one of Jasper's button- down shirts on. I didn't even have time to put a bra on! How dare they even _think_ about going shopping without me! And now, Jacob had pictures of my backside while I was wearing a black and red lacy _thong_!

"Hon, why don't you go get some clothes on?" Jasper said, rubbing my arm. I nodded and raced up the stairs. But I made sure Jasper's shirt was covering my back so Jacob couldn't get anymore pictures. I can't wait until those end up online.

I slowed down when I got into my room. I kept Jasper's shirt on, just taking in his delicious scent. I didn't need it for protection anymore. I went to find my clothes near the side of the bed to put them in the hamper. I was pretty sure my shirt had been ripped off by Jasper, but my jeans were probably in one piece.

Hm. They weren't there anymore. Jasper must have thrown them in the hamper for me. He really was the best husband.

I put my hand on the closet doors and threw them open. I knew where my skinny jeans were so I started walking towards that part of the closet without consciously thinking of it. I looked up and saw that something was wrong. I looked around for about two seconds before I realized it.

It…was…EMPTY. Completely and utterly empty. There was not a single piece of clothing inside the entire closet. There were no pants, no shirts, no jackets, no dresses, no purses, and no accessories. For crying out loud, there were no SHOES! Who would hate me enough to steal my shoes?!

I let out an ear piercing scream. I don't think it was in my power to stop the scream. This was clothes we were talking about!

I ran out to the top of the stairs. "Jasper Whitlock Hale Cullen, whatever your name is! Where are my clothes?!" I screamed. If I hadn't know better, because I knew they all valued their lives too much, I would've sworn I heard someone gulp. I tried looking ahead to where they were, but I couldn't see.

"Did you check the closet?" He called back up. I rolled my eyes.

"No I hadn't thought of that." I said sarcastically. "Where are they?"

"She's going to kill us." I heard Carlisle muttered. I was down the stairs in a second, grabbing hold of Carlisle's collar.

"Where are they?" I hissed. He tried to take a step back but I continued to hold on. He didn't say anything, so after five minutes. I smiled sweetly and took a step back. I smoothed down his collar.

"Alright then. Since no one will tell me," I took my long trench coat out of the closet. This was the only piece of clothing I still knew the location of. "I guess I'll just have to go shopping." I slipped my purse over my wrist. "And since I'll be using my personal credit card, you won't be able to cancel it. Have a good night everyone." I turned around and walked over to Jasper. I pulled his head down to my height and gave him the most passionate kiss I could.

"That was for the fact I know you would never do anything to my clothes, because you love me too much." I saw his eyes widen and his breath stop. I was so on to him. I stared right into his eyes and gave him the most trustworthy look. "I love you." I walked past him and out the door without looking back. As soon as I was outside, I heard him swear and smack himself.

I shook my head as the garage door was opening. Well, at least he didn't mess with "MY PORSCHE!!!" It's gone!!! Oh, now he was really dead. I sprinted back to the house and froze in the doorway.

"What. The. Hell?!" I growled. Jacob's phone beeped as a text message alert. He flipped open the picture message and started laughing. I grabbed the phone out of his hand and stared at it with my mouth wide open.

Embry Call was posing in my designer skirt and my favorite shirt. He was leaning on my Porsche with Quil laughing in the back ground.

"THEY. ARE. DEAD." I growled at the top of my lungs. I recognized the place as near the old treaty line. I was about to hand back Jacob's phone, but realized he still had the pictures of me on there. I tore it in half and threw it down to the ground. I squashed it with my foot and then bolted out the back door. I was at the treaty line in fifteen seconds.

Seth had heard me coming and was sitting shaking his head at Embry and Quil. Embry and Quil were dressed in my clothes that were ripping at the seams. They were taking turns taking pictures of each other in poses against my Porsche! My precious Porsche was covered in mud, and their handprints were all over it. I'm going to kill them.

Embry hadn't realized I was here, but Quil had. He took the camera and took pictures instead to get in less trouble. Embry walked over and took his filthy finger and scratched 'EMBRY ROCKS' into the side.

"Embry. Call. You. Are. Dead." He looked up and went into complete terror. He tried to run, but I was faster. I threw him down before he could phase and put my foot on top of his chest. He tried to get up, but when I was mad, I was stronger. Seth had already fled, but Quil had noticed my shirt ripped when I threw Embry down and was snapping pictures.

"Quil, give me the camera and run." I said.

"Why should I?" He challenged snapping more pictures. He thought I didn't know enough about him to make him give up his camera. I didn't know a lot about him, but I knew his one true weakness.

"Because if you don't, I'll personally go over to Claire's and tell her you hate her and think she is awful." He froze and stared at me. He dropped the camera and smashed it to smithereens. And he was out of sight before I could blink at vampire speed.

I looked down to Embry. "Well, well, well. What should we do with you now?" He gulped. "How about you clean my Porsche? And I hear toothbrush bristles are very good for high-quality sports cars." His eyes widened. "And of course, it will just get messier if it stays here. So moving of course goes with that." He sighed. "Do you think that is enough punishment?" He nodded. I smiled evilly. "You do realize you are talking about my _Porsche_ and my _clothes_, right?"

"Alice, please." He whined.

"Well, since I'm not allowed to walk around naked, I'm gonna need some clothes. So I expect all these clothes to be back in my closet." I took my foot off his chest. He didn't move. "GO!" He scrambled up and ran to start his duties. I laughed silently and sprinted back to the house. I walked through the back door.

Edward, Bella, Nessie, and Jacob were standing on one side of the room. Edward was holding Bella's shoulders and whispering to her. Jacob and Nessie were talking about what phone he should get.

Jasper, Carlizzle, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie were standing on the other side, all whispering in voices even I couldn't hear.

Tuffy, Mimi, Coco, and Bentley were sitting as one cute little puppy family on the glass coffee table.

"Who did it?" I asked in a plain voice. I didn't show any emotion in my face.

Tuffy hopped up and turned into a flashing arrow. He bounced up and down pointing at Jasper's group.

"Thank you, Tuffy." He went back into his cute tiny puppy form and smiled at me.

"Well, then. What are we going to do?"

**Thanks for reading!! Please review!!  
****I'm going through a very tough time, so I won't be able to write for a long time. I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as I can, but it might be a while.  
****Thank you soo much for all your support!!**


	51. Revenge

**Chapter 51  
Revenge**

**AN: THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!! THERE IS NOW OVER 1,000 REVIEWS ON EMMETT BUYS A PUPPY!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Also, I can't even begin to say how sorry I am about the slow update. So much has happened to me it's crazy. I was out of town with no computer for a family emergency for over two weeks, plus then I had make-up work, then normal homework, plus homecoming week! So let's just say I've had no time what so ever!! **

**I do have another message at the bottom of this chapter so please read it.**

_**I don't own Twilight.  
**_**Jasper POV**

I am scared.

Sure, send a full-on army of thirsty, vengeance filled newborn vampires, I'd be fine. No sweat. Having to calm down my brother on the night before his wedding while making sure the grizzly bears are still excited enough for my other brother, not a problem. Having to feel all the emotions of each couple in this house on their anniversaries? Bearable, but doesn't make me scared. There is only one thing that could make me so nervous I wanted to crawl up and hide.

An angry Alice.

I've been around Alice when you get her upset and it is _never_ pretty. But I have never been around her when her clothes and her car are messed with. Why had I even agreed to his? She was perfectly content with me. We were totally happy and I had to go let stupid Rosalie convince me it would be "fun".

So now my dear dear Alice, oh how I wish she could read minds so she knows it's not my fault, was standing in front of us tapping her chin mischievously with her finger. She was trying to decide how to get back on us.

Bella shyly raised her hand. Alice raised her eyebrows.

"This will probably embarrass me for the next century, but can you please consider this payback for my suitcase on our honeymoon?" Ah, the suitcase full of lingerie. Alice hadn't told anyone besides me about that because Bella and Edward would've killed her.

"What suitcase?" Emmett asked. Anyone mention honeymoon and he was ready to make a joke.

"That was why I didn't want to mention it." Bella said shaking her head. Edward wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she rolled her head against his chest.

"What suitcase?" Emmett repeated.

"We aren't telling you." Edward said. "Of course I know what was in it; I opened it to see whose suitcase it was."

"What?" Rosalie asked.

"Answering Emmett." He shrugged. Bella was shaking her head back and forth.

"Edward, why did I bring it up?" Edward shook his head and looked into her eyes.

"I don't know. But I did like that suitcase." He winked and I could feel the embarrassment radiating off of Bella as she hid her face.

Emmett turned to me. Oh no. "Jasper, I will give you one-thousand dollars and declare you the ultimate bet-er ever if you tell me."

"Edward, just tell him. It isn't that bad." Carlisle said. Oh, Carlisle knew? That meant Esme knew too. I could tell Rosalie knew as well from the expression on her face. Well, I guess it does make sense why no one would want to tell Emmett.

"Yes, it is normal, on a honeymoon especially." Esme added, trying not to upset Bella. Bella looked like she would murder the next person who clued Emmett in.

"Bella, I love you but," Rosalie started and turned to Emmett. "The suitcase was full of lingerie. Now can we please move on?"Emmett broke out into hysterics.

"Wow, is that it?!" Emmett broke out in laughs again. "So which one was she wearing when Renesmee was c—"

"Uncle Em, I really don't wanna hear this!" Nessie said covering her ears. "La la la la la la I can't hear you!" She yelled hiding her face against Jacob's chest.

"Yeah, and I don't want to answer that. Are we free to go?" Edward asked.

"I suppose. But I expect a shopping trip out of you, Bella!" She yelled after them as they were already half-way out the door.

"Ha! You wish!" Bella laughed before they took off into the forest.

"Why don't I join you Mom and Dad?" Nessie yelled starting for the door.

I laughed. "Ness, by the mention of their honeymoon and the way they are feeling right now, I would stay at the main house for a while." She rolled her eyes and twitched. Then she yawned.

"Nessie, why don't you go to bed? You can sleep in the spare room upstairs." Esme said running her hand through Nessie's bronze curls. "Alice, she did nothing wrong. I think the real people you need to punish are Emmett and your husband. I would _never_ dare to touch your shoes."

"Of course you wouldn't Esme. Go ahead." Alice said. What was she doing? She was never this nice when offering revenge. She must be saving it for someone.

Oh no. It was probably me.

"OK, Alice, I'm really really sorry about what I did. Can I just help Embry put away your clothes, be your servant for a week, and go shopping with you?" Alice smiled.

"Sure. My punishment for you was going to be a whole lot easier, but I like your idea better." Oh, she was good.

"But…I…"

"Thanks Emmett. Rosalie, you can go with him."

"If only you had kept your mouth shut." Rosalie said following him into the other room.

"Jasper, can I please see you in our room?" She asked. I gulped and nodded. "I'll join you in a minute." I started heading up the stairs, not before making sure she wasn't getting anything dangerous, like matches, or a knife.

I went into our room and sat cautiously on the bed. No clothes were back in the closet yet. Wonderful. I was counting on Alice seeing her clothes again to calm her down. Now I had nothing to keep the revenge away. If I tried to control her emotions, she would become even madder. If I tried to distract her, she would become even madder. If I tried to tempt her with money or shopping trips, she would be furious. So basically, I'm a dead man.

I heard her small footsteps on the stairs and down the hallway. Her hand twisted the door and she stepped inside. Her perfect face was expressionless as she looked around the room. I sent as much love to her as I could when her eyes trailed on me for a few seconds, and I saw her subtly roll her eyes.

She walked straight past the bed through the room and into our now empty closet. I heard her sigh when she saw everything was still missing.

"Stupid slow werewolves," She muttered, and I threw my hand over my mouth to hold in my laugh. I was too slow for Alice though; she heard and came out of the closet glaring at me.

"Alice, I know you are mad, but I promise they made me do it. I kept trying and trying to discourage them, but they were persistence." I tried to persuade her. She was staring at me with an expressionless face as she walked closer and closer. "How about I buy you whatever you want from the new fall design of whatever designer it was you love and I'll go on a shopping trip with you for as long as you want and let you spend as much money as you want? Please Alice?"

She pushed me back onto the bed and climbed over me. She put one of her knees on either side of my hips and leaned over me until my back was against the bed and her lips were at my neck. She placed them gently on my neck, and then I felt them part; wider than the length she would've parted them to kiss me again.

I knew the width she held her lips from years and years of torture in Maria's army. I gulped, and felt the turning up of her lips. From the angle her head was at, I couldn't tell if it was a laughing smile, or a mischievous smile.

"Shopping? And an entire fall line?"

"Yes; and you can buy whatever you want, no matter the cost." Her largely parted lips were trailing up and down my neck.

"Where?"

"Wherever you want. Paris, the United States, I don't care." Her hands were on my chest and her open lips were trailing up and down my neck. My breath was becoming more and more shallow.

"When?"

"As soon as you want. We can leave in five minutes if you want to."

"You promise?"

"Yes," I said.

"Do you swear?"

"Yes. On my life. Actually, that means your life, because you are my life."

"OK," She sighed. "You're forgiven. The clothes aren't really that important, as long as you are still in my life."

"Thank you," I breathed a sigh of relief and lifted my hand to her face. I twisted her head around and pulled her lips to mine.

"But I still want my shopping trip." She muttered against my lips and I could feel hers turn up into her 'shopping smile'.

"Whatever you say," I said. She began to unbutton the top of my shirt.

"And one more thing," She said quickly.

"Yes?"

"Never steal my clothes again." She hissed.

**OK! So please please please review!! I would love it!!**

**Now my note: Chapter 52 of Emmett Buys A Puppy will be the last chapter. I have decided after a lot of thought and talking to friends who read the story, and they agree with me. There isn't really a plot anymore, and it's kind of all over the place. Don't worry, I'll still be here! I'm going to be doing other stories, including another comedy coming up very soon!! So please add me to your author alerts!**

**Thank you so much for all of your support throughout the entire story, and I hope you read my other stories.**

**Lots of love **


	52. We may be crazy,but we are family

**Chapter 52**

**We may be crazy, but we are family**

**Esme POV**

I sat down on the couch after talking to Nessie until she fell asleep. I stayed another moment to watch her sleep. She is so peaceful, with no worries evident in her expression. She looked so beautiful, possibly even more beautiful than when she was awake if possible.

Carlisle kissed my cheek before going upstairs to his office to do some work. Our vacation had left him a good amount of work to be done, not adding to the fact the stress of the house. I smiled and clicked on the television. I usually don't watch television except for a few favorite shows. It was really just background noise, but I kept it low to not wake Nessie.

Coco and Bentley came running up their little path into the main house. About three feet behind them on the dirt path was Tuffy and Amira running after their babies. Coco came in first, beating Bentley in the race it looked like they were having. Coco slowed down as she came inside, and smiled her funny, sharp teeth filled smile. The light sun glistened off of her teeth and made sparkles off the glare of the glass wall. She hoped up on the couch and lay down next to me, her head on my left leg. Bentley followed her up, not using his flying power.

He curled up into the pillow next to my right leg, and was asleep almost as soon as his small furry head hit the white pillow. Coco looked at him until he was asleep, and then she crawled over my lap and curled up next to him. Amira and Tuffy- always in sync- hopped onto the couch and the exact same second. Tuffy barked a high-pitch bark and stood up with his front paws propped on my leg. I laughed and rubbed the back of his head. He hopped down and lay down with his head on my leg, and Amira also laid her head on my leg, now facing Tuffy. She laid the inside of her hand on top of the inside of Tuffy's. It was kinda like the two of them were holding hands, or paws in their case.

As I looked at Tuffy and Amira perfectly content and as I looked at Coco and Bentley sleeping happily, I smiled at how crazy of a family we were.

First, to start everything off, Emmett decides to buy a dog. Of course we all thought he was crazy- I'm not sure if any of us have ever thought different. He was bringing a living breathing animal into a house of vampires that live off of animal blood. It was most definitely a little crazy, if not a lot crazy.

But as Tuffy stayed for a few days, we all grew to love him. Of course we then had Jasper and his 'hunting mishap' causing our little Tuffy to be turned into probably the first ever vampire puppy. That was where Rosalie's name for Jacob as 'the mutt' came from. The puppies got offended when she said 'the dog'.

Anyways, Emmett's divided attention eventually got the best of Rosalie's jealousy, and she got Amira.

And after some…'bonding time'…between Tuffy and Amira, we came to have a vampire Amira and two beautiful half-vampire, half-puppy babies- Coco and Bentley.

We then had the 'Barbie Girl' incident with the messenger from Kalamawazza, and Angela becoming a mayor of that town that apparently likes old English. I grew up in those times, and even I don't like old English. I mean really, what is up with it?

So besides the vacation and the usual crazy adventures, everything has gone pretty smoothly. Sure, that wouldn't exactly be the 'normal' family events to happen, but for vampires it was pretty dang plain.

Of course, we were still pretty crazy. In what other family would the song 'Barbie Girl' causing everyone to break out in laughter and another man to run off screaming for his life? There was also the water gun fight where Carlisle was soaked by Emmett, with the girls' guns filled with lemonade that made the entire outside of the house sticky and gross for a couple weeks until we had enough soap to clean it off.

As if to prove my point, Rosalie came running down the stairs in a full black outfit. She was equipped with goggles and a Nerf gun. She sprinted out the back door. Emmett came flying down the stairs dressed similarly. He fired outside the open window and he cussed when he missed.

I shook my head at him. He smiled his goofy smile and came over to me. He rubbed Tuffy and Amira's heads until a single Nerf dart came through and landed on Emmett's upper arm. Rosalie appeared in the doorway the next second.

"I win," She smiled smugly and bolted up the stairs. Emmett started firing up the stairs after Rosalie. His eyes all of a sudden got really wide, and he bolted out the side door.

Carlisle came down the stairs with his fists tightly clenched. The entire front of his shirt was covered in neon orange Nerf darts. I threw my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. A few giggles escaped, but I was doing better than Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett was in hysterics from his place on one of the branches outside. Rosalie was at the top of the stairs clutching her sides.

He walked slowly over to me, and I began helping him remove the darts from his shirt. Emmett came in when he was completely cleared of darts.

"Carlisle, I'm so s--" Emmett tried to apologize, but a weird clicking sound interrupted him. Rosalie fired two shots at his turned back. He turned around and fired two shots at her, but missed as she ran away. "Sorry!" He yelled back to Carlisle as he bolted up the stairs after her.

Carlisle sighed and sat down next to me. He took my hand and leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

"We may be crazy," He said.

"But we are family." I finished. He smiled and leaned over to kiss me tenderly on the lips.

_The End_

_**Thank you to absolutely everyone who read this crazy story, and special thanks to everyone who added me to their alerts and reviewed. Thank you to every person who helped me with this story along the way, and thank you for your never ending support. I love you all more than you will ever know. Love always and Happy Holidays.** _


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